dude are you okay you wanna talk
Dude please don't commit sui. Death is the end of existence just nothingness. Life could get better no matter how long it takes. I know it's hard I've been depressed for a long time too. But please feel free to talk or vent if you want. And also, if you bit by bit keep interacting with new people or trying new things, you can find positivity. Lots of shit in the world but also opportunities to improve things.
Also I know very well that sometimes depression, self esteem problems and mental health issues are due to tough life circumstances. Since those vary from person to person idk what advice to give for that. Ig try to find support / advice from capable ppl, and yeah it takes time to figure out how to improve things.