itch.io

No problem, I'm aware that some teams are not able to have someone on hand to translate to other languages and either have to wing it or get only a single pass through the script (and as a proofreader I'm keenly aware that mistakes always slip through the cracks of any serious length of text! Even renowned authors working in their own tongue have spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes in their novels, let alone tone or stylistic errors! :) so I'm happy to help.

And even though this is a demo I know that small things can make a big difference to sales at times and that if this section was used in the game there is also a chance that it would not be as carefully checked as it had already been "used in the wild" as it were, so worth pointing out if only on those merits! :)

It was very clear to me that you also wanted to pay a lot of attention to the language used by how carefully each character's characterisation was also driven by their speech; Fable's precision but constant punctuation, the Innkeeper's careful choice of words and very clean dialogue with clear though put into their speech before uttering it, Caerlin's guttural and clipped speech, the Vampire's ostentatiousness... the Dwarf was the only one I felt had a less clear voice but there was so little to go on I'll have to wait for the release I guess (though I might be inclined to suggest a little more of a gruff tone, maybe muffle some of the syllabents due to the heavy beard?) I am a definite fan and enjoy giving and reading accents in written text... my daughter adores the young adult novels of Terry Pratchett for this, particularly the Nac Mac Feegle with their broad Scots accent! :D

I bid you all the best with the full version of the game and I hope you are able to make a success of it - it certainly deserves it and the hints in the demo certainly suggest it should be possible with what you have (team and all)! :)