Skip to main content

Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
TagsGame Engines
(+3)

First of all, I am absolutely floored by the amount of polish in this game! Even considering that you were working in a team, this is an impressive amount to accomplish in 7 days. Well done!

Your art direction is terrific. The music and visual style completely supported the mood that you wanted to get across. And I did not encounter any obvious bugs on my playthrough.

Some critical feedback:

  1. Work on grammar for the text-based communication, particularly the long introduction sequence. This absolutely needs to be crisp if your intro is so key to setting the mood for your game.
  2. Some issues about the controls:
    1. Add a [SPACE] to continue indicator for the introduction, so that people know how to advance.
    2. Onboarding would ideally be included for controls. Fine for game jam though where people expect WSAD.
    3. The in-game action controls are inconsistent and awkward. I didn't like having to click "continue" and on the dialogue choices when I was using the keyboard for everything else (e.g. SPACE to start conversation, but L-click to navigate the conversation tree is awkward). At least include a way for people to play through just with the keyboard. Mouse adds nothing. Also, the pixel art of the game lends more to all-keyboard controls as a retro-style game. 
  3. Setting aside the few grammar issues mentioned in (1), the writing is TERRIFIC. I'd suggest that you add a way to delineate between what is being said out loud by a character, what is being observed by the player character, and what is said in the player's internal monologue (e.g. put player thoughts in italics). Will make it more effortless for the player to enjoy your writing.


As a whole, fantastic entry. Congratulations on your accomplishment!

(1 edit) (+2)

Wow... Thank you so much for the really well thought out response and constructive criticism! 

1. I think you are absolutely correct about this. Grammar (especially in the intro) is essential to set up the scene properly for the player

2. The space to continue idea is a really nice idea, and was a complete oversight from us. Admittedly, alot of these features we decided to ignore because it was easier to code.. (classic game jam stuff ;/) I completely agree that mouse adds absolutely nothing to the game

3. The idea of internal monologue is a really interesting point and I'm glad that you brought it up. Now looking back at the game, the implementation of some way to differentiate between the character's thoughts and what was said would really help to enhance the experience. The grammar was definitely not up to par and 100% will be improved on after the jam ends.


Thanks so much for taking the time to write such an insightful response!! I will make sure to look back at this to clean up this game(and others of a similar style) in the future.

:P