Obviously I don't know where your head is at and due to lack of expertise or recent experience it's difficult to truly empathise, but if you enjoy reading, there's a book that I read years ago and I always recommend to people at troublesome or tricky points. There is a movie of it too, but it doesn't do the book justice nor have the same effect as reading does.
https://images-eu.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51TsDt6m92L.jpg
I'm not usually into all this stuff, but it really did fix me when I was at my worst in so many ways about 30 years ago. I re-read it every ten years or so and it's like bumping into an old friend.