Dani "NONONONONO!"
Dani "MOM, HELP ME! MAMA! MAMA! MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA!"
"Oh, for fuck's sake, all right, all right!"
"Calm down, geez. I'm {i}not{/i} going to eat you."
"She lets go of my legs."
Dani "...r-really?"
"Mmhmm."
"For now, at least."
"If you're a good little girl and keep quiet, I might even consider letting you live, you know?"
"I clamp my hands over my mouth and nod my head frantically."
"..."
Dani "..."
"...pfft..."
"...fggh..."
"...GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"AHAHAHA!"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Oh man oh man oh man! You really believed all of that crap?"
"This is the first time I've seen such a stupid little kid!"
"WAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Dani "I'm not stupid!"
Dani "I always get the best grades in my class!"
"Hey, kid... you {i}do{/i} know that there are no such things as monsters in this world... right?"
Dani "R-really?"
"Well, not the kind of monsters you're thinking of, anyway."
"I have no idea what's going on."
Dani "Then... if you're not a monster... {w}what {i}are{/i} you?"
"Huh."
"Good question."
"Even though I'm not a monster, you can't call me a human either, can you...?"
"I'm kinda dead, after all."
"I stare at her."
"She looks pretty alive to me. Then again, she also doesn't look like any other person I've ever seen, so..."
Dani "You're... dead?"
"Mmhmm."
"Have been for a while."
"Or something like that."
Dani "Wait... don't tell me... y-you're a ghost! A spirit!"
"A spirit, huh...?"
"She chuckles."
"Yeah, I guess you could say that..."
"I'm a spirit."
"The spirit of disaster."
Dani "What... what does that mean?"
"It means that I bring death and destruction to everyone I touch, of course!"
Dani "What?! No! But, but, but you just touched me!"
"Oh yeah, sorry about that. You're going to die a slow, torturous death in, oh, about a week from now."
"It'll involve maggots, somehow."
"I rip open my backpack and start hurling hard candies at her, howling my lungs out as I do."
"Ow!"
"Oww!"
"Owww!"
Dani "Take it back! You take it back! I don't wanna die! I haven't watched the last episode of Fantabulous Ice-Skating Detective Ranmaru yet!"
"It was a joke, kid! Mother of Jesus! Can't you take a fucking joke?!"
"I pause in mid-air strike, tears and snot running down my face."
Dani "I, I, I don't wanna dieeeee!"
"You're not gonna die! I was just joking!"
"..."
"Well, you {i}are{/i} going to die eventually anyway, but not from my magical powers of death and dismemberment."
"For that to work, you have to be somebody... close to me."
Dani "But... I'm close to you right now..."
"Not that kind of close, idiot!"
"I guess I'll have to explain this to you with an example."
"When I was at school-"
Dani "At spirit school?!"
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/YlpsRJp.jpg" ...no,="" at="" a="" http:="" i.imgur.com="" 7hfsdyq.jpg"="">school."
Dani "But you're a spirit, why would you need to go to a normal-"
"Just shut up and listen."
"Okay, so there I am, a cute little spirit of disaster at school, kicking ass and taking names, right?"
"Guess what comes along?"
"Another spirit! The spirit of, oh, so many things it's going to be hard to list, but... let's see..."
"The spirit of weird books and homemade booze and fake eyelashes and coffee-flavored makeouts..."
Dani "Make...? I don't get it..."
"You'll understand when you're older."
"So anyway, when we were together, I kinda stopped being the spirit of disaster for a while."
"Instead, I was the spirit of... oh yes, I became the spirit of love!"
"Courage!"
"Rebellion!"
Dani "That sounds awes-"
"Only I wasn't, really."
"Once a spirit of disaster, always a spirit of disaster."
"I was cursed from the very beginning."
"She pauses. Blinks a few times, like she's trying to get rid of something in her eye."
"Her eyes..."
"They look red and purple in this light."
"I've never seen anybody with those eyes before."
"Her fingers twitch as she slides them through her hair, which is completely white."
Dani "Why do you have white hair?"
"Huh?"
Dani "Only old people have white hair, but you... you're not old at all!"
Dani "It's weird!"
"...it's the mark of my curse. That's all."
"As are these eyes... and this skin..."
show girlsprite at spirit
"Just kidding! Ahahaha!"
"I'm an albino. A-L-B-I-N-O. It's kind of like a disease. Go Google it or something when you get home."
"Though what I said earlier isn't necessarily untrue either... heh."
"She shakes her head."
"Anyway, as I was saying..."
Dani "You became the spirit of love and happiness!"
"Or so I thought, yeah."
"Of course, since I'm actually the spirit of disaster, I managed to get the spirit of cupcakes and papercuts and butterfly kisses..."
"Completely and utterly annihilated!"
Dani "An... nile...?"
"Is that word so hard to understand? What the hell are they teaching kids nowadays?"
"She was invaded! Defiled! Torn to pieces with much beating of breasts and gnashing of limbs!"
"I, on the other hand, got away with a bullet in my chest."
"They thought I was dead, you see."
"They were so disappointed. Looking forward to fucking the rot of Sappho out of me, weren't they?"
"Too bad they preferred making corpses over making love to corpses though."
"But she was stupid enough to struggle. Got her cellphone out. Managed to dial through."
"She was dead by the time the police and medics arrived."
"Ahahahaha! It was so fucking stupid!"
"If she'd just laid there quietly, they probably wouldn't have put that last bullet through her brain."
"Though, of course, if the ambulance had gotten there any later, I probably wouldn't be here right now."
"But hey, since I'm the spirit of disaster..."
"I'm alive. And the one close to me..."
"... died an slow, painful, humiliating death."
"That's my power... and my curse."
"No more though. No more..."
"She's muttering under her breath now, like she's completely forgotten that I'm here."