Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
Tags
(+1)

        I like the Tai-chi-like and time-and-space travel genre. This game is very interesting, has a great start, and has a lot of potential. Nobody has started AVN with these topics!

        Here are some constructive feedback:
               1) Music choice and placement. Sometimes, the absence of music slightly took me out of the immersive story.
               2) Character development and world-building could be a little bit more exquisite.
        For instance, I'm interested in seeing the girls' backstories in this "Sect" world, including the experiences and challenges they have undergone. I also wish that I could see more details in the Qi elevation progress, which is a great opportunity for the main character's growth and development. 
        The conversations are great and straightforward. However, they could be smoother with better word choice. Perhaps the reason is you are not a native English speaker (based on my instinct), which is okay. Maybe you could ask AVN developers who excel at this. I recommend reach out to Caribdis (Eternum's developer), Niichan (My Bully Is My Lover's developer), and/or KatanaVN (Fate's Collide's developer). They have solid writing skills. I can mention your game to Cari if you'd like. 

3) Please proofread and fix some grammatical errors and typos, like this one.

        I'm looking forward to the next update (0.2)! If 0.2 turns out to be , I will help advertise this game to more people. Your work of art should deserve more attention!




Thank you for your feedback. This is my first AVN, and I’m still familiarizing myself with many aspects of it. Feedback like yours is greatly appreciated, as it helps me know where to improve.