Since a young age of my life, everything go downfall. Right now, when I think it logically, I shouldn't be alive right now. Maybe I will not longer be alive tomorrow or soon. I also want to live, I think living is beautiful.
First of all, that's a great sentiment to share, and I hope everything works out for you. It also points out something that I didn't which is how you want your players to feel. It might be that you can draw creativity from wanting to inspire your audience, or pass on a positive (or unique) world view to help people with their own challenges.
In both points I was talking about preferences, nobody is obligated to do x in a x way or something. Just talking on what I want to do.
Absolutely, this is all just take-it-or-leave-it advice. We're not pointing a gun at anyone XD