I think this one has a lot of good ideas. I do think you've probably overfilled the faction board with text-If I were you I would seriously consider taking the different building abilities off the board and printed on separate cards like the Warlord Moods and Duchy Ministers.
Also, I think the Civilians box could be cleaned up a bit-not sure why there are five different colors for the pawns, and some of the text is a little hard to follow.
Great concept-I think this one does the best job of "affecting the way your opponents play the game"