Oh man, this was a fun one to read. I feel like you and I got a very similar idea (monstrous minions protecting a big bad) and ran two very different ways with it! Here are some thoughts I had whilest reading:
- Your art and setting killed. I was straight up giggling at the mook illustrations. Your intro and premise were solid and I knew what I was getting myself into. Smarmam description set up your tone well. Nicely done.
- A few things took me a bit out of the immersion farther than I liked. I was enjoying the loose language at first but ended up wanting more inventive / thematic slurs for the heroes. You set up Smarmam and his whole vibe just to undercut with delivery entrance (was confused why there was such a thing in a wizard tower? Probably just me overthinking things.).
- Small question: Is there a GM? I just wasn't sure who was controlling the Heroes. Must be right?
- I think the best thing you NAILED was your room and Mook generators. Loved the idea for a room generator and thought the way you handled that section was really great. Your Mook generator had two features I really liked--quick for your regenerating your Mooks and the special features. The special features in particular I could see prompting some really interesting player choices (do I take this power for this room or leave it for another player in one of the later rooms). Really cool
All in all, you did a great job and should be happy for doing the thing! Thanks for putting it out there and letting us read!