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ActiveDayDreamer

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A member registered Mar 08, 2023 · View creator page →

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Thanks. All of my other visual novels have a similar art style. My art isn't the best, but I try to make the characters and the backgrounds readable and understandable. Art is not my strong suit, but doing the art myself makes for everything looking consistent and cohesive. So, I'll try to limit my need for art where I can and therefore create stories focusing on one place with one other character visually represented on the screen. Thus, my stories are small in scope, but it also makes for tighter storytelling and more doable scenes that ultimately culminate into finished projects. My visual novels can range from nice and wholesome to angsty and serious. They're all short and to the point too if you're interested in checking out my other works. Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate it.

There are two different endings—one happy and one sad ending depending on one's choices.

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Thanks! If you click on my profile name, it will redirect you to my page. I have more free, short visual novels there that you can play.

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I played through the entire game. I liked the green pixelated art and the techno music. The scenes for the exposition, key event, and the conclusion were well-written. During the middle part of the game, I was clicking on random parts of the environment. Once I got to the security code, I kept clicking on random numbers until I inputted in the correct code. So, there didn't seem to be that much mystery to discover and uncover. Regardless, it was a well-told and interesting story with charming graphics and music. I give this game an 8/10. Good job! 

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Thanks. I didn't try in terms of art, since this was for the Worst Visual Novel Ever game jam. Yet, I did try to make the GUI unique and consistent with its art style. The music was definitely my favorite part to create and produce for this visual novel. I'm no artist or musician, but I thought all of the elements came together nicely to create a cohesive whole. 

I never thought about the story representing childhood trauma, but you brought up an insightful idea there. I created the story on the fly here. So, it was never meant to be super deep to begin with. 

As for the ending, there are two endings. There's a good and a bad ending, and I wanted to make the choice meaningful and significant to the plot and character. With the contrast between the last two lines of both endings, the reader can really feel that difference in emotion. I'm glad the story spoke to you as well. 

I also have other short visual novels on here for free if you're interested in reading more content from me. Otherwise, have a great day!

The narrator and Paulina are two separate characters, and I would say the story is written in third-person limited perspective. Otherwise, I don't know a Paulina in real life, and I just made up this story on the fly for the Worst Visual Novel Ever game jam. Regardless, I'm glad the story was enjoyable and thought-provoking for you. If you click on my profile, you can check out other short visual novels on here I've created for free if you're interested for more content. 

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The story was enjoyable and delightful. It would have been interesting to see Tim disappointed or dejected if Bearie chose to ask him about the WIFI password instead. Other than the beginning feeling drawn-out with the long texts of description, the  writing and humor really shone through with the heartwarming dialogue between Bearie and Tim and the humor-laced choices the player can make. I also liked the consistency of established character lore throughout the entire visual novel, making the story more immersive and the characters more real. The characters and backgrounds were charming, bright, cheerful, and colorful. The music complimented and captured the lighthearted atmosphere and tone of the story as well. I also loved the precision to detail shown through the game screen and the textbox, making the story more thematically consistent through the visuals of the WIFI symbols and giving the visual novel a more soothing and relaxing appearance through the calming shades of blue used. All in all, I rate the game a solid 8/10. Good job! Keep up the good work! 

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Thanks for replying back to me. Thinking more about the game, I realized there were other issues in the story's writing. One, the protagonist smokes weed a lot, but nobody seems to smell that scent on him, nor does he seem to have the side effects of smoking that particular drug. It's also interesting how he's able to get the weed, but with what money if he doesn't have a job, unless he gets an allowance? 

Secondly, while I never applied to college, I doubt it's that short of a process. There are also finances associated with college too, even community college, which can also cause strife between the mother and her son, or it just puts him further in debt and causes him more stress. So, those are other factors to consider when making the story more believable and also organically weaving in other minor conflict in the game that could potentially result in greater consequences. 

Writing a story is a beast of its own. Finding a plot outline that fits the flow of your story, figuring out key story beats, having an idea for the beginning, middle, and end, and understanding how the characters change over time can help give you structure, flow, progression, and a plan for the main aspects of your story, making it less nerve-wracking to write and finish. You definitely can make this into a contained short story. So, starting small instead of going big is the way to go. 

If you know your story, you can then identify and understand how and where the story branches off into different paths and different dialogue scenes, making moments where choices come up feel more natural, logical, and impactful. 

If you don't have a firm grasp of what you're trying to convey through your story, then knowing what choices the protagonist makes in the game and when can become a more difficult task. 

If you understand the basis of what kind of journey he's going on, then you can better envision the different routes he would naturally take, given his personality and circumstances. Ultimately, all stories follow a protagonist on some sort of journey at the end of the day.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey!

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I liked the game, the atmosphere, the music, the character development, and the story. The game has the building blocks of a good story—a protagonist, a setting, a struggle, and a goal. I thought the set-up was good, but I found the pacing of Nelson's friendships with the girls to be rushed. Although, I think his friendship with Kate was organic, wholesome, sweet, and sensible. I thought it was weird how Steff was into weed, and we learn that suddenly and inorganically. At least with the choices I made in the game, it felt like it came out of nowhere. Replaying the game and clicking a different choice, it comes up naturally and organically. So, keep in mind what the reader and protagonist know from the different story branches and dialogue choices made by the player. Also, I guess weed is legal now depending on the state. People can get weed legally at dispensaries. So, I don't know if it warrants the high stakes the protagonist is making it out to be, especially if the story takes place this year. Otherwise, my only complaints are the few, glaring, grammatical mistakes here and there. The story is promising with the foundation put in place. You just have to plan out and write the rest of it. I believe in you! Don't feel the need to write a long visual novel. If it's meant to be short, then make it short. Write the story for however long it needs to be.