That's so insightful and interesting. The way you tied the complaints together with the common thread you pulled to unravel my entire argument was worthy of Capote or Wilde...
Also, your mom said to pick up a gallon of milk when you come by again, and she's getting tired of you leaving your sticky underwear everywhere after you get back from cruising rest stops all night. She said it might not be so bad if it was cum, because at least you'd be making friends and interacting with real people, but it's just from you shitting yourself because you like the way it feels. We all know you only go to the rest stops to lick the toilets clean because you saw your dad doing it before he left you, and you're hoping to make him proud if you run into him again. He was so embarrassed after he got in trouble for "drinkos pee-pee". Not because of that, he admitted he "like(s) the taste", but because they figured out you're his kid and that was a shame he couldn't live with.
Your mom said she's going to let me start beating you the way she should have, irrespective of the fact you diarrhoea yourself in protest any time she remotely tries to correct your pathetic behaviour. I'm just going to use one of your belts — because it's big enough I can beat the shit out of you without risking touching said shit.