itch.io

No problem. It’s fun trying everyone’s stuff. Lots of different ideas and directions. Thanks for sharing!

Liked the concept of a group sacrificing humans to send them to heaven to find God. I did get a bit lost in terms of where to go. I kept cycling from one location to the next and then suddenly the game crashed the third time I tried to visit the `???` area.

Choices could use some work. I found the game kept asking me if I wanted to proceed without giving me new information. For example, I choose to go to the Archaeology Site. Once there the game almost immediately asks if I want to look around or leave.  I chose to go there already so presumably I want to look around as I haven't been given any new information. If the player's being given an option to rescind a decision, you need to give them some doubt or introduce a cost to proceeding. Otherwise you're just asking the same question twice in a row.

Otherwise, I liked a lot of the background art and some of the character designs like the skeleton deer were pretty cool. Would be interested in a fleshed out version of this world where sacrifices are sent to heaven to find God.

Good luck!

Yeah I know the feeling lol.

Neat structure. Impressed you have stories where you can choose which character accompanies you. Gives me some ideas for next year. The time limit is also a cool idea.

Felt a bit random which choices led to success vs. failure and I didn't feel like I could have made better choices to avoid my bad end. At one point Belle said they thought my location choice was a bad idea but I didn't have any choice to change my mind or ask them for their thoughts. If there were clues in the research I was struggling to make the connection.

Great work!

Here you go: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bhE-DKQk8D0cr0P81tu05cTcv4CcjmtsozDhg0EXLhk/...

I made the mistake of beginning this game with my audio muted, which is a shame because when I put on headphones a third of the way through I realized how great an impact the multimedia component has on this game. This isn't because there's anything weak in the writing that's being compensated for, but that the author has done a great job creating a disquieting space with all the tools at their disposal.

The basic premise is that the protagonist's mother has invoked a deal with the devil to remove their child's fat. The protagonist then enjoys a life of thin privilege, being first pick to be a news anchor at their television station among other benefits. Then, the devil announces that all pacts with devils are off, and soon their fat self will reassert itself. Instead of being consumed by suicidal thoughts, the protagonist makes it into therapy where they begin to unlearn self-hatred as they realize it's not serving them.

As I mentioned earlier, the disquieting moments are really amplified by the audio and the visuals. A lot of attention has been paid to these elements and it's really impressive. Regarding form, it's not a choice game, which is fine. I don't think it would benefit from being one. If you'd like to call it a "multimedia narrative experience" rather than a game, it might set your expectations better. 

My only real critique is that it felt like it was missing a conflict in the final act. Once the protagonist enters therapy, it's essentially a linear climb to something nearer to self-acceptance. I might have preferred a challenge, perhaps the devil returning and saying the deal was back on the table, and seeing how the protagonist dealt with that as a chance to show growth or change. Otherwise, impressive output for something created in under four hours.

Haha thanks :P Rumor has it the last two parts are better than the first.

Let me know what you think at the end!

This one was polished and well executed. I can't say I quite figured out the pattern for followers. I just ended up trying to upvote anything funny or divisive.

It was difficult, and I almost put it down at the beginning, but once I got into the swing of it I really enjoyed it. The moment where I almost yelled "oh my god why am I spending so much effort just trying to convince this ONE FUCKING GUY to do ONE FUCKING THING" was the one I realized, despite the abstraction of an appeal into a rhythm game, this was actually a really true to life depiction.

Hey everyone,

I've been trying to experiment with a longer-form Twine game where the choices aren't just "what do you say" or "where do you go" but what you think, how you think, and what catches your eye. I wanted to focus more on flow and feelings than "how many endings are there," and this game is the result.

https://brwarner.itch.io/grofast-industries

If you want to play in the browser, you can go here instead: http://download.brwarner.net/grofast

Here's the game's hook:

After her partner's death in a gruesome metal mill accident, Jennifer Holdings, former sex worker turned steel worker, finds herself trapped between an encroaching union, an elected but stale board, her past, her future, the police, and the company president who she just so happens to be sleeping with. Surrounded by supposed heroes and polarizing rhetoric, can she find her own way? Can you?

A choose-your-own-adventure game about guilt, doubt, and heroism that focuses more on navigating feelings than deciding what comes next.