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Consequencey

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A member registered Apr 10, 2024 · View creator page →

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To be fair, those are all things you as the author decided to include.
I can't understand it, and it seems I'm not the only one?
(Regarding Dozer, I mentioned it because it's in extremely public places where they can be caught by anyone of any gender or age, which I personally find awful to do. I'm of the opinion that consent includes viewing sexual acts, not just being directly involved.)

Also, here's an example of repetitive dialogue someone sent me; I'll show more when I see them:


To me, personally, it just feels like a rather unnatural way to speak? It reminds me of the sort of dialogue you see in English textbooks, actually. (Here, at least. Our country doesn't .)

There's quite a few instances of this sort of thing.

Absolutely lovely!

1 *they

2 I can prove my point perfectly fine, but I do in fact have a life and haven't had the time to reread this thing for examples. I'll get to it when I get to it.

I'll try and do so when I get around to opening the game again

True about the 'writing over a long time' part, but this is something that happens even within the same conversation.

Hm, which ones would you consider weird?

A few criticisms for anyone considering picking up this game, but especially for Dyne:


(Spoilers, obviously.)



- Extremely repetitive dialogue. I can't count the number of times a conversation was pretty much just the same few sentences slightly reworded a dozen times, and I'm not sure if it's just poor writing or purposeful to bloat the word count
- Constantly teasing threesomes in nearly every route and never once following through, the only actual threesome shown is a bisexual threesome (in a gay game, though the woman is offscreen)
- Constantly putting gay men in bisexual/straight situations (Initial dream sequence, Spencer's career, Chester's rape, Dozer's whole exhibitionism thing technically, Darius wanting to see Maria nude?????, the MC watching softcore bi porn with Richard, and so on, and so forth)
- Forcing players to indulge every possible fetish/kink to get a good ending
- Inconsistent characterization
- We literally did not get to see our future father-in-law in his OWN SON'S ROUTE (Chester) and instead were only introduced in an entirely unrelated character's route
- Introducing a random man in an epilogue and focusing 90% of it on him instead of the actual character the epilogue is meant to be for, for some reason. The character could've been interesting enough... had he not been shoehorned in at the literal last possible moment
     - To be clear, nothing wrong with polyamory and threesomes etc. The issue here is how abysmally it's handled. I'd love to see a VN with proper, well-written polyamory, but this ain't it.
- Officially seemingly throwing away any semblance of a decent plot to focus on the fetish content, especially in the latest routes. Whatever my personal feelings are about the character, Richard's route is a particularly egregious example. As someone else said, "It's like watching an addict relapse. It's as if he somehow forgot the entire reason behind his divorce, which is definitely out of character since he'd repeatedly shown remorse and sworn to do better with the MC before Daniel happened. I feel like two different people are writing this route; the first one who cares more for character establishing moments and character development wrote Day 1 - 15 while the second one who only cares about fetishes is writing the days beyond that."
     - Again, nothing wrong with fetishes (even ones I'm not into, I guess), but seeing everything this project had thrown away to focus purely on that is just plain tragic. Could've worked better as side stories or something along those lines.

Overall, for a project going on this long, you'd think it would improve, but alas. There's still time, I guess, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

I know this comment will probably get deleted and me blocked, because I've heard Dyne doesn't take criticism well (and neither do avid fans of this project), but I felt it all needed to be said anyway. Mostly because it's infuriating seeing something that had genuine potential fall apart this badly.
Plus, I feel like the people actually paying for this over on Patreon should be getting their money's worth.

Ah, well.