cute game, i liked it, thank you for making it :)
the isabella
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A member registered Dec 01, 2018 · View creator page →
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I think the font of the dialogue is a bit of an issue. I don't think it's a bad font on itself or anything, but you have to consider that in a visual novel, your reader is going to do a lot of reading. So having a stylized pixel font like that as the font that is being read for a long time can wear on the eyes. It's a subjective thing of course, I'm very nitpicky about dialogue fonts because of accessibility reasons and I think in typography, standardized fonts are there for a reason. Comic Sans is silly and "bad" but very easy to read. Times New Roman, the standard in academia, is a serif font, which generally helps with readability.
Again, this is a very small thing and Ren'Py has built in accessibility options that allow you to adjust and change the font and what not. I would say please just make sure to consider readability in the future when selecting the font that will be most prevalent in your projects.
Again x2, I really genuinely enjoyed your game a lot, thanks so much once more!
ahahaha this is some good shit
i really love the art, the character expressions and everything is so charismatic. i love these girls and their dynamic a lot, this was a really enjoyable read.
i HATE the font though that's my 1 big criticism I HATE THE FONT!!!!!!!!!!!
i'll have to check out your other stuff if it's anything like this, thanks somuch for making this for our jam
Abelle, first things first, I thank and applaud you for creating and submitting this novel/game for the jam. I'm honored that, despite your struggles with artistry, you found enough motivation to complete a project for our jam of all things.
But secondly, my applause is light and can only go so far. While your completion of this may have backing in the thematic relevance of the "Menhera VN Jam" in that mental tribulations make it hard to commit to projects, the amount of brownie points that one can be awarded based on that fact alone are scarce. You have created a visual novel, you have produced something in the great subset of art, and you deserve credit for that alone even despite mental struggle. This alone does not impact the quality of said art, though. And, of course, all art is subjective, but there are objective measures that dictate points of quality. Visual novels are theatre and so, for example, the less transitions, the lack of smoothness, and the inconsistent art direction a game may have detract from the wholeness of something within the medium. This is all a drawn out way to say that I do not think that this is a very good game.
To not mince words, your game is an embodiment of failure. It is a failure about failure and I can sort of appreciate that about it. In the sense of a meta-commentary, it complements itself nicely. The music doesn't feel shoehorned and your art, while simplistic, isn't bad or offensive. The majority of my qualms comes from what's being said. Towards the end you start giving advice about game development, and while I think that is a nice and thoughtful thing to do, to advise anyone on this front falls a bit flat considering your unsuccessful development ventures. This is a game about your failure in development and the whole that it is does not necessarily resonate the voice of someone experienced enough to advise someone in development. Your game falls short in what is being attempted and starts to equalize itself into someone's vent post rather than an artistic expression of one's struggles. It's not much of a game nor a novel nor a story - but at least it is about something and in that I can enjoy your intention, because that does shine through.
The thing I can appreciate the most from Make a Game or Die Tryin is how earnest it is. It is about what it is about and this obviously resonates within you and I truly appreciate heart. Abelle, despite my seemingly harsh words, I don't think this is the worst thing ever - not even close. I think there's absolutely potential behind this, it just takes willpower to find the surge to create. I personally wish you will make more and I hope once it crosses my path in the future that it blows my mind. You have the capacity to make something far better than this, you just have to truly work to find it and hone it. To create is a beautiful thing and to create something you can truly be proud of and have people consume is a bliss unlike anything else. If I am to strongly advise anything, it'd be to proofread a lot more. I know you spent some time going out of your way to fix the English errors, but there were still errors, whether it be diction or grammatical, pretty much every other line.
Good luck, Abelle. Make more games or die trying. Don't back down.
edited for phrasing
Middle Sea, you've done it again!!
Katey, I voiced some of my thoughts to you privately, but this is a really nice work you two have made. kitten milk replacer was an early highlight to me when I was playing the vncup submissions and I was so glad to see you had decided to participate in our jam.
Your writing is so smooth and accessible to fall into but it's in no way simplistic, you have the hold over a very nice prose that in a way sets up allegorical walls over something with a scent so standout that your mind starts to wander aimlessly into it. You write 'experience' really well, experience as in the effect of going through this bite-sized tragedy.
The art direction you've gone for in this game is also very cute - it's unique and really adds a lot toward the wholeness of the novel. The different styles of cutout faces for each character, lightly implicating facets of their personality (or rather interpretation through Sara) was really nice to observe. The sprites aren't longingly rendered anime girls with dozens of moe expressions and I guess that might throw off a portion of the audience, but to me it doesn't matter one bit when you have such an established style you're going for.
Fotocopiadora really came in hard as the composer for this project, none of the tracks felt out of place or forced. The feeling of belonging in the OST really served toward a quick and easy immersion into Sara's mind. Not only that, I feel the songs and ambiance would be pleasant to listen to on their own~
really good stuff you two!! excited to see what middle sea software does next
Monstrous Deep Blue - Act 1 + 2 / 3? comments · Posted in Monstrous Deep Blue - Act 1 + 2 / 3? comments
this was surprisingly alluring and i was really getting into the scenario and story and mindset of diana but then it just stopped! very nice writing and verbose prose, cute art and great music direction but arghh previous comment is right it ends so suddenly and too soon... will be on the lookout for more
the once and future lord of nothing comments · Posted in the once and future lord of nothing comments
I wouldn't say being soundless is necessary disqualifying per say but in general, sound is a big qualifier and important aspect of any game/vn. I don't think losing that one component would make any of the judges instantly say "yeah screw this, it's got zero chance of winning", but you'd be going up against a bunch of others with submissions that likely have it as an included component
The tone is up to you. You decide the story, you decide the tone. It can be an incredibly sad story, if you want. It can be a silly story, if you want. It can be a serious story, if you want. It can be a happy story, if you want. We're not enforcing the tone, we just don't want our jam to exist as an incentive for people to create stories that make people feel more worse after they finished it than they did before. Does it have to be necessarily uplifting per say and happy? Not at all!
We wanted to make things vague enough for people to have a great source of freedom to express their stories in whatever way would best suit their narrative and message. They're stories about mental illness, so sensitive topics are likely going to explored and we don't want people with mental illness to find themselves ruminating on the negative aspects too strongly, ergo cyclically reinforcing the negative aspects of their mental illness. The story can be upsetting and doesn't even have to have characters overcome their mental struggles - but we don't want it to be in a pessimistic light that serves as to affect the reader in a bad way. I hope you understand what we mean.
Re: Intention and sincerity - we want this to be a story that you, the creator, puts your heart into. It's not exactly easy to quantify that in terms of tangible content, but there are certain aspects of a work that can shine through regardless of surrounding elements. We didn't want to be too constricting when it comes to a theme. Yes, the underlying baseline is queer characters with mental illness, but you can go so far with that and do whatever you want... as long as it's true to you. Make something worthwhile. Make something you believe in. Make something you love. We want the love to shine through to us, and the reader, as well.
wow! Instantly with this, within the first 5 minutes, I was hooked! The presentation and style of this VN is completely off the charts. It's got so much personality and sleekness in the way it operates on a technical level. Nothing about this feels 'thrown together', this feels like a consistent project that had effort put into it.
This game is so adorable! The sprite transitions, the art, the dialogue and the timing of the lines, the little jokes, everything really fed into something greater and contributed something to make this experience one where I had a smile constantly. The music was amazing too - for VNs I generally feel it'd be hard to listen to the music outside of the games, they're composed for short repetition and ambience, but I feel like this is something I could listen to on my own.
There have been many games for the VN cup where I have thought "yeah, this is a quality submission", but for Hello Girl, I thought "yeah, this is a quality game". To me, it exceeded the boundaries of my expectations for a 3 month game jam. It felt so held together and I could tell there was absolutely vision behind this.
On the other hand, I wouldn't exactly say it's a quality submission. Like, this game is great - I haven't played a ton of visual novels but this is definitely in my top 3, but I just don't see how it met the theme for this cup at all. Maybe I am missing some allegorical meaning or distant metaphor found in the concept of Rabbit Zero, or maybe there is more to this story yet to be told, but in my read of what was here, I didn't find the theme.
I assume there is more yet to be told, because the ending hit me like a brick wall. Or a truck. Or a brick truck. I enjoyed my two hours in this world so much that I was fairly disappointed with how it fizzled out. I really hope there is more, I am invested! Like, if there's a sequel to something I've played, yeah I'll maybe check it out - but rarely am I invested! I want this! I want more. It felt like the drop off here was so quick. Which, I understand, this game was made under a fairly short time constraint which doesn't really give the time for a full world to develop, but it feels like what was built up here was left in the middle of its construction. Which, of course, sometimes you have to do - but it can make a singular piece of something feel less impactful. I hope there's more.
Those two things are my sole criticisms with this game, and they're easier to focus on and talk about because the flaw is always easier to poke at when the product doesn't have a lot of them. This game was so impressive to me on a technical level, it had so much detail put into it you can tell it was loved, it was so cute, I liked all the characters, and I want to see them all flourish in whatever comes next for the world of Hello Girl - WHICH THERE BETTER BE MORE FOR!!! I really really enjoyed this game and I think you should play it too. I don't know why you're fuckin' reading my comment and have gotten to this point in the 'review' if you haven't played it, but if that applies to you, PLAY THIS THANG!!!
i don't know what to say; this was really good, it was artistically sound and consistent, the OST kicked in at the perfect moments, i said 'huh' and 'wow' audibly at some of the writing, the game between the wanderer and knight made my chest feel weird; this is winner tier material, i think
Was this... still my dream? It felt like something of hers. I had reached out, touched her, and when I pulled away something had stuck to me. That thing had snaked its way into my own mind.
Not quite... At the edges of this place, time is loose. It all wraps back in on itself, eternally.
A world collapsed in on itself, rewriting itself, slowly negotiated by our desires.
I really like the consistent art direction here, I haven't played a lot from the current cup but this has been my favorite so far. The designs are really cool. and the final line made me audibly go 'huh'. unfortunately I couldn't really play without enabling accessibility options, text was just too unreadable as is. If this universe or story is expanded upon at all, I'll be keeping a lookout