Looks like your post on r/osr got deleted, but here’s the reply I wrote:
Definitely not germain to this subreddit, but I like asymmetrical duet games and I’ll share some thoughts:
• There’s typo in the poem under Act I… story’s should be stories
• In Act I, the Knight has Actions and the Fish has Moves, not sure whether this is intentional
• Some parts of the Ritual may require more procedural clarity, like a suggestion for what to do if you don’t own a 9-sided die, or how to speak your essence at the same time as the other person (and similar for syncing your Words)
• There’s something kinky about this game, and I’m guessing it gets kinkier as the Acts progress. While it’s not overtly sexual, the power struggles — one player bound to silence but who has the ability to punish the other player — are kink. This is a game that requires a LOT more safety and trust than other games. My suggestion would be to lean into the kink and really call it out in the introduction and marketing any material so that people understand what they’re getting into. More explicit safety tools up front would be a good idea.
• You say it’s for online play but I’m not seeing how it would work well at all if not face to face. You may want to include a section on adapting it to online play.
Good luck, have fun, and don’t be surprised if this post is downvoted or removed…