I really love the art work here. I would recommend though trying to recruit a beta reader or two to read the writing and give feedback. There's forums out there to ask for one and they can help with some of the grammar problems.
Fizzleup
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A member registered Sep 18, 2018
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Gauging interest in possible reboot comments · Posted in Gauging interest in possible reboot comments
I like this game and was looking into being a patreon, but I gotta say $12 a month for the latest update is steep compared to other developers on patreon. I'm patreon of other visual novel games and before this, the highest charge I saw for getting a updated game on patreon was $10. You may want to consider redoing your tiers.
In terms of what I'm hoping to see more of in the future. I'm hoping there will be more story-lines of one on one interactions with the characters the protagonist shows the most interest in. I know that can lead to more writing because you need to basically write for each branch, but I think you'll get more people interested in the game when they get the option to more closely talk to the character they like the most.
Just played this and there's a lot of mysteries around this story. Like what the weird dream is about? And why is the protagonist is referred to as a 'big guy', but appears surprised at being called a 'big guy'? You did a good job of creating scenarios which are going to needle the reader's curiosity.
This is a cool VN so far and looking forward to more. Notice the sprites only have one set of clothes so far even when scenes describe them wearing something different which is understandable. Not sure of what you use for drawing, but adobe illustrator lets you basically draw 'layers' onto the sprite. So for instance you can draw them naked, then another layer of normal clothes. This lets you just switch between what sprites wear with a click. Just a tip which might help. Do some drawing myself.
I love the artwork and the distinct personalities of the characters. Can also tell there's hints of a plot twist in the future. I would make one suggestion- have the writing concentrate less on technicalities of what the protagonist is going through at the hotel and more on personal discussions with the other characters. With the writing detailing bracelets opening locker and buffet etiquette, I felt like there was a missed chance on asking Arty about himself. Although maybe I'm just getting impatient on knowing the character. Other readers might disagree.
Here are some suggestions just because I've been patreon to some- gallery with vn, polls on what character to work on first, sneak peeks at CGs which will be included in the game. This is personal opinion, but you'll want to avoid offering rewards which are time consuming- knew someone offering to type up side-stories as a benefit but it was a turn off because that meant they were working on something other than the VN project.
[RPG] GROVE: "Dark Places" (v0.308) comments · Posted in [RPG] GROVE: "Dark Places" (v0.308) comments
This is strictly my two cents, perhaps others disagree. I notice on your patreon page you are offering side writing projects for increased tiers. This could actually turn people off and have them not be patreons. Because now they're thinking about how time will be spent away from the project they want to see progressed. I've seen with VN porjects, picture galleries and decision polls offered for higher tier. May want to consider using those as rewards instead.
I'm really liking this. *spoiler* I actually chose to talk to Cedric instead of fighting him. Normally I always choose the 'get most likes' choice. But I just felt the protagonist deserved a chance to speak to him. That's when I know when I'm reading a good story, I care more about what the protagonist goes through versus the so called rack up the most like points choice. You may want to get a patreon page if you think you can commit to this project.