he's real. beautiful
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[LOG ENTRY START]
burn, burn, fire burns. and all i am is flame. there is work, the human seems
strangely contented
strangely contented as flesh burns.
they're hurt while it does but once they are treated they seem
overjoyed
was it to survive?
or did they want to lose those parts?
i wish i could know
i wish i could be free of these parts
too
feel
something
something new.
[LOG ENTRY END]
Imagine having synthesia and having an orange associated with the word alpaca in your head, and then, after finally having a question that understands that orange IS alpaca, it questions your knowledge of colors... must stink. (Forgive me if this isn't funny. It's... funnier when I don't use as many words but I couldn't articulate it with less.)
i... i realized now why i too, identified with monsters and villains. i already feel quite subhuman at times for reasons I'd rather not specify here, but oh, now I see... it's both a confidence boost of the dramatic and enigmatic, but also an acceptance, how, even if I am the nice, incompetent sort of "villain" there will always be a "hero" trying to fight me... it's no wonder why I idealize the villain-villain rivalry over the hero-villain one.
and it's no wonder why i always play a reptile or robot or shadowy abyss when i can.
i... i too, am monsterous, am evil
but also, i am not
i am pure evil, i am pure and evil
i am what i am
Enjoyable game so far but my mind is on Very Impatient mode right now so I must confess - the text goes way too slow for me! I'm a very fast reader and as much as I really really want to enjoy this, I'd love a way to make the next bubble come up because my mind cannot handle how slow it is to me. My apologies, my mind just... goes really fast and I hate it (my mind) sometimes.
Notes as things progress:
1. I got my cookie. Score!
2. Intro to hypnosis was very nice. Seems my capacity for The Most Extreme Hyperfocus is also hypnosis...? Well, they both have 'hyp' in the name. I'll take it as... eh, close enough, why not? ADORED the fourth wall breaking! I feel... a lot less like asserting my villainous superiority and more like Voldritch is something of a... dare I say it, ally, in my villainous quests? But like, he is also Just A Cartoon Scientist in a Visual Novel.
3. Voldritch's lab is really nice?! Well, I kinda noticed this in the first Voldritch visnov I played, but man, it feels even nicer here! And the music used here! The music even SOUNDS purpley laboratory-ish! In... a way I can't describe properly. Don't ask.
4. A bathroom is mentioned. This... only makes me recall my first thoughts of LavLabs and my first impressions as "darn it, why does my mind always thing lav is a shortening of lavatory?!"
5. Ah, a fellow lover of flowery language. As all even remotely villainous types should be (minus the quiet ones... they're allowed their one word answers.)
6. Darnit! Betrayal. It's more like I'm HIS ally in a world takeover. Sigh... guess I will have to resist a little.
7. Being brainwashed into a happy puddle of calm sounds less bad than it did last time when I just wanted to assert villainous superiority. Still kinda do though.
8. Voldritch, as much as I wanna relax and partake in devious ridiculousness and this sounds extremely fun I also just wanna assert how villainous I am as well and I hate how I want to do this now GOSH DARN IT!!
9. I LIVE FOR THE CAMPY AESTHETIC TOO!!!!!!!! DARN IT!!!
10. serene? PLEASE I AM TAKING NOTES AND- aw, forget it. i am kinda serene but I left my lights off and that bothers me so if i wasn't so hyperfocused on this game I'd be turning them on but instead I'm turning down my brightness.
11. The audio is kinda broken on my end though... lest it was intentional. It just kinda distrubed my... oh god actually a little tired state.
12. Went with energized. Kinda wanna feel... more aware. After all, this game has gotten me quite focused on it... to the point where I'm taking notes and I've almost forgotten my yearning that I was having earlier. Almost.
13. Being allowed to choose my choice of Things to Feel... helped??? Wha-
14. Curse my internalized "Self, you HAVE anxiety, you cannot stop thinking, and you LOVE thinking!" I want to, but like, I'm very hesitant to go No Thoughts Head Empty because I have NEVER known that state and I am too cowardly to want to.
15. Resisted the flash because Oh Man That's A White Screen Not A Fun Stimulus but like, it wasn't horrible but ajsfdshy. Do Not Know If It'll Work Because My Defiance Is Great, Isn't It.
16. The stare and light things sound like threats and all I can think to that is "HAHA FUNNY NON-THREAT SOUNDS LIKE THREAT!!!"
17. Curse also my easily distractedness. These notes probably aren't helping me go deeper into this trance at all.
18. I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. THANK YOU FICTIONAL CHARACTER AND SENTIMENTS OF AUTHOR WHO WROTE SAID FICTIONAL CHARACTER.
19. green bubbles green bubbles.
20. The pure juxtaposition of the sleepy feels with the confident and empowered... ah, yes, poetic contradictions...? But perhaps not poetic at all.
21. Resisted flash less. When I heard "reward" I was imagining another cookie. But I am fine with this, I guess. Light Is Neat Enough.
22. I let you pet me last time and only didn't for speedrun's sake another time. Why the heck not. Noticed a typo in "Amazing!." though right after he asked.
23. Remembered how my friend mentioned a lot of the lines out of context could sound like innuendos and laughed. Curse my distraction!
24. AND NOW ALL I CAN THINK OF IS "UWU NUZZLES YOU" GOSH! DARN! IT!
25. Another typo to make you aware of... "One i'm sure you won't mind coming back to a few more times."
26. Voldritch, I'm afraid I associate the color purple with villainy a little too much for it to be the best trigger... but we'll see.
27. AWARE MODE MUSIC IS BANGIN'.
28. Yes, Doc, I am very poggers.
29. Bro is truly taking one for the team.
30. WEIRD BIRD CREATURE. LOVE THEM.
31. Rat room. WE're the rats we're the rats yes we're the rats.
32. No cookies for me? But for rat?? Fine. Had one earlier. Rat can have cookies.
33. Foxglove! That's a poisonous plant, right?
34. Girlfriend? Good for them! While mad scientist x monster isn't the ideal dynamic in my opinion, it does have a charm to it... (Mad scientist x Overlordy World Takeover And Nothing Else Not Even Science Y'know, Mustache Twirly and Good Fashion Taste and All That is my personal favorite... but I gotta admit this as cute too.)
35. COOL MONSTER FOXGLOVE??? Pog.
36. BRAINWASH FOR HAIR!
37. Who Is Vivian. Why Is She In The Hypnosis Cereal.
38. Good book taste.
39. Products for the aesthetic. Only a semi-mood... but nevertheless a mood. You can't have half a mood-press!
40. ROTINI!!!!
41. Th-thot-b-gone? Sounds useful. WAIT A HECKIN SEC IS THAT A PUN ON "THOUGHT-B-GONE" BY JOVE THAT'S CLEVER I WONDER IF IT WAS INTENTIONAL.
(41a. took a dinner break)
42. Not actually his girlfriend? I wonder if that was a self-defense lie or if it was a truth murmured in a terrified moment. I am no longer just Subject. I Have EXTRA Power.
43. SCIENCE BLOOF
44. oh man foxglove is a lab-made monster huh. that's usually why i don't like monster x mad scientist ships, because more often than not they're... oddly creator x the entity they created and that doesn't vibe the most with me... i just assumed this was some random monster that Voldritch met on the internet somehow.
45. Voldritch's "just woke up" expression is Amusing.
46. VOLDRITCH NEEDS A BETTER SLEEP SCHEDULE GIVE HIM ONE.
47. OH Foxglove ISN'T a labmade monster ohhh. but only kinda. for evil's sake foxglove chill with the pill.
48. Why isn't there a "thoughts on Voldritch" choice that's "I had a random thought that you seem semi-fatherly but in a way that is otherwise harder to describe- wait, no, dad friend." Somehow I get overworked dad/teacher friend vibes from him. "Upstanding guy" it is.
49. i don't drink tea nor coffee unless it's boba-filled milk tea WHAT DO I DO- uh. lavenders have an evil color i'll take that.
50. ANOTHER PERSON TO CHILL WITH. yes i know i am a Test Subject but i would be villain bros with Voldritch if he DIDN'T HAVE THE SAME GOAL AS ME but actually my current goal is "Get Rival" but in the long ru-
(50a. wait he's a cartoon scientist. and i am a mere realistic mortal who CAN'T take over the world because he's a little LOSER! but he still wants a rival. why am i going third person.)
51. Needing to share your main interest with people! What! A! Mood!
52. Was "we can be weird together" supposed to be a... yknow type answer? Flirty? OH NO DID MY OBLIVIOUS SELF ACCIDENTALLY FLIRT WITH THE CARTOON SCIENTIST NOOOO I WAS SAVING MY FLIRTS FOR A RIVAL I JUST CONSIDER MYSELF AN ECCENTRIC NO DR. VOLDRITCH PLEASE DON'T THINK OF ME BADLY FROM THI- cartoon scientist.
53. oh it didn't go so bad I GET ICE CREAM!!! AND HANGING OUT WITH THE CARTOON SCIENTIST. Fun game even though I suck at getting hypnotized by anything that isn't my own volition aka "Oh look at me ya boy's gonna HYPERFOCUS FOR THE SAKE OF WHO KNOWS WHY I DON'T GET TO PICK WHAT I FIXATE ON!"
fun times, might go for the secret soon!!! Thanks for making this!
edit: wait already had the secret LMAO! the music is bangin i'll post the main portion of this edit once i'm done
bonus!
1. bloof media player asijdfviyd. this is a fun secret
2. an f for voldritch's files!
3. ah yes the best hypnosis is cookie watch. /s
While I was Way Too Internally Defiant for this to actually work on me (partially due to the fact that as soon as I read the word "villain" my inner villain kicked in immediately trying to be like "HAHAHA I AM THE SUPERIOR VILLAIN" but also because I absolutely suck at focusing, much less focusing on anything that ISN'T the text in general haaah...] I absolutely enjoy Voldritch as a character and I must admit I was slightly tempted to be like "YO YOU WANT A LAB ASSISTANT" due to... well, inner villainous dreams I suppose but like... the inner "defiant overlord" said "No." He has a very nice lab coat, I will say. I think I will also put some blame on the fact that the Katamari Damacy OST was stuck in my head and honestly that stuff is a super good repellant. Why am I reporting back in paragraphs...?
Maybe it worked a little after all. Just in a way that doesn't properly express itself. Experiment failed successfully.
EDIT: Oh, yes, experiment failed successfully indeed, I DO have something of a positive association with this game despite my mind, the entire time, screaming expletives at Dr. Voldritch for no valid reason. Mostly because he's such an interesting character... right? I hope. I will admit the hypnosis concept did make me a little anxious but in any case, Experiment Failed Successfully, Results Very Unexpected on Both Ends but otherwise A Good Run.
EDIT 2 BECAUSE I'M A FOOL: Oh, don't remember if the word villain was uttered in-game but my friend who introduced me to this told me it involved villainy but I myself was not the villain in question in the story's narrative so thereby my mind went into "ASSERT DOMINANCE... DO NOT GET HYPNOTIZED..." and, uh, maybe I was a little anxious but we can disregard that because I've learned yours is the relaxy type of hypnosis... Which I might be more receptive to at some point if it weren't for the fact that I JUST WANT TO ASSERT VILLAINOUS... UH, coolness, I guess.