itch.io

Amazing game. Before I played this game, my life was constantly going downhill. My wife left me for her pilates instructor she told me not to worry about. My best friend in the world (Fluffy the dog) ran away to Mozambique, taking my kids with him. Then I played this game. Experiencing life through the eyes of Hanning Brand changed my life forever. I understand now that the eternally growing beard is a symbol of the struggles of everyday life. This game taught me that the only solution to life's problems is to find random things in your apartment and cook them all in a pot. With this new perspective, I now married my ex-wife's pilates instructor. We moved to Mozambique, only to find that Fluffy had started a lucrative hotel chain, which he used to pay for my children to all attend college. This is not simply a game, this is a life-changing experience. Without this game, my life would have been meaningless.