Thanks for the great feedback! I was having trouble with a couple of those stuck spots you mentioned and I really should have been more thorough in checking for them. I think I also should have been better about making the dialogue clear about what I was trying to go for, making it more clear that I was trying to subvert the trope of "doing thing well causes guy to 'get' the girl" and emphasize the value of friendship while criticizing the toxic competition between people that so much media promotes. I was hoping that the stilted/awkward/Saturday morning cartoon nature of the dialogue would help that come across, but I think many people will miss my silly message.
