itch.io

oh my stars !

anyone in their right mind would've taken it :p

we are not. i have not heard from beano since my last reply. my heart breaks with every single passing day without having heard from him.  that's a CRAZY offer !! (i love femboys.)

i know, right?  i'm bewitched;  life sure is strange.

a game review

VICTORY IS MINE!!!

on a genuine note, at the start I could not for the life of me tell whether you were being serious or not, i was like "this angry duckman is mad at me, what the hell do i do ???" this was fun. you're amazing as well, beano.

quack ya later ! :p

you thought it was over????? i REFUSE to tolerate such arrogance from a water rat!!! stay tuned

oOoOoOoOh, shiver me timbers! your display of arrogance is truly breathtaking. how fortunate i am to receive such an exquisite lecture on my apparent shortcomings from someone who clearly has an advanced degree in waterfowl studies! your expertise in discerning between ducks and extraterrestrials is truly unparalleled — a true marvel of the modern age. what a quack. as for your amateur psychoanalysis, i must say, I'm thoroughly underwhelmed! your attempts to diagnose my emotional state based on a simple mistake are as laughable as they are presumptuous. and your insinuations about my family affairs? well, let's just say it's as impressive as it is none of your business. to mee it seems like you're simply projecting your own insecurities onto me. if so, maybe you should consider family therapy, which, pardon my insensibility, might not be very appropriate considering your lack of one.  regarding your suggestion of therapy, allow me to retort: perhaps you should consider a career in stand-up comedy. your talent for delivering insults with such gusto could surely fill arenas. in the meantime, i'll be sure to treasure your unsolicited advice in the same manner i do a soggy piece of bread.

yours truly (and nonchalantly),

jojo :P

got the 'burn' ending first try. got so scared omg

anyone else notice the little cabinet's knob is on the wrong side? not sure if that was intentional or not. (not criticizing/hating, just a little observation!!)

i see how it is, then. the reason why my reply has reached you o.o9 light years late is because you are an alien, you foul-smelling, gunk-eating eunuch!!!  i can tell that the size of your big mouth greatly surpasses the size of your brain. poor thing must be collecting so much  dust from having been unused for so many years, rattling about in that hollow shell you dare call a 'skull'. do not underestimate my abilities to distinguish a feline from a cyber-sorbet! your own abilities to pick out a liar from truth-tellers must be dreadfully grim if you have the courage to look at your unfortunate reflection in the mirror and call yourself clever. just because your decaying grandmother thought so doesn't give you the right to agree with her!! and i am NOT a SIR!!!

oooooh i see, sorry if that came off rude.

thanks for this cute little game! i was actually stuffing my face with beef-flavored, half-cold noodles that i microwaved while playing. finished the bowl almost exactly as i got to the canyon. 'twas an entertaining dinner, so thanks!

HIW DO  I GET PAST THE CANYON?? oh wait am i not supposed to...?

someone's mad because they didn't get 100% on their first try like i did 

wait does this actually use my webcam

skill issue

👁

lol

fishie

---{ Graphics }---

☐ You forget what reality is

☐ Beautiful

☑ Good

☐ Decent

☐ Bad

☐ Don‘t look too long at it

☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---

☐ Very good

☑ Good

☐ It's just gameplay

☐ Mehh

☐ Watch paint dry instead

☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---

☐ Eargasm

☑ Very good

☐ Good

☐ Not too bad

☐ Bad

☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---

☑ Kids

☑ Teens

☑ Adults

☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---

☐ Check if you can run paint

☑ Potato

☐ Decent

☐ Fast

☐ Rich boi

☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---

☐ Just press 'W'

☐ Easy

☑ Easy to learn / Hard to master

☐ Significant brain usage

☐ Difficult

☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---

☑ Nothing to grind

☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks

☐ Isn't necessary to progress

☐ Average grind level

☐ Too much grind

☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---

☐ No Story

☐ Some lore

☐ Average

☑ Good

☐ Lovely

☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---

☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee

☐ Short

☑ Average

☐ Long

☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---

☑ It's free!

☐ Worth the price

☐ If it's on sale

☐ If u have some spare money left

☐ Not recommended

☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---

☐ Never heard of

☑ Minor bugs

☐ Can get annoying

☐ ARK: Survival Evolved

☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---

☐ 1

☐ 2

☐ 3

☐ 4

☐ 5

☐ 6

☐ 7

☐ 8

☑ 9

☐ 10

thank you for this!

i should be the one thanking you for your lovely games!

lol

i legit said this out loud

"oh no, my soup is too healthy."

i think i might have a thing for cassiopeia

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS MASTERPIECE!

THIS WAS LOVELY AAA

HERE'S MY REVIEW! (again)

---{ Graphics }---

☐ You forget what reality is

☑ Beautiful

☐ Good

☐ Decent

☐ Bad

☐ Don‘t look too long at it

☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---

☑ Very good

☐ Good

☐ It's just gameplay

☐ Mehh

☐ Watch paint dry instead

☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---

☐ Eargasm

☑ Very good

☐ Good

☐ Not too bad

☐ Bad

☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---

☑ Kids

☑ Teens

☑ Adults

☑ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---

☐ Check if you can run paint

☑ Potato

☐ Decent

☐ Fast

☐ Rich boi

☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---

☐ Just press 'W'

☑ Easy

☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master

☐ Significant brain usage

☐ Difficult

☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---

☐ Nothing to grind

☑ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks

☐ Isn't necessary to progress

☐ Average grind level

☐ Too much grind

☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---

☐ No Story

☐ Some lore

☐ Average

☐ Good

☑ Lovely

☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---

☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee

☑ Short

☐ Average

☐ Long

☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---

☑ It's free!

☐ Worth the price

☐ If it's on sale

☐ If u have some spare money left

☐ Not recommended

☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---

☑ Never heard of

☐ Minor bugs

☐ Can get annoying

☐ ARK: Survival Evolved

☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---

☐ 1

☐ 2

☐ 3

☐ 4

☐ 5

☐ 6

☐ 7

☐ 8

☐ 9

☑ 10

:D

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THE 3RD ENDING ToT

EDIT: NVM AHJSDFKJSDKBCS

---{ Graphics }---

☑ You forget what reality is

☐ Beautiful

☐ Good

☐ Decent

☐ Bad

☐ Don‘t look too long at it

☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---

☐ Very good

☑ Good

☐ It's just gameplay

☐ Mehh

☐ Watch paint dry instead

☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---

☐ Eargasm

☑ Very good

☐ Good

☐ Not too bad

☐ Bad

☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---

☐ Kids

☑ Teens

☑ Adults

☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---

☐ Check if you can run paint

☐ Potato

☐ Decent

☑ Fast

☐ Rich boi

☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---

☐ Just press 'W'

☑ Easy

☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master

☐ Significant brain usage

☐ Difficult

☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---

☐ Nothing to grind

☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks

☐ Isn't necessary to progress

☑ Average grind level

☐ Too much grind

☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---

☐ No Story

☑ Some lore

☐ Average

☐ Good

☐ Lovely

☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---

☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee

☐ Short

☐ Average

☑ Long

☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---

☑ It's free!

☐ Worth the price

☐ If it's on sale

☐ If u have some spare money left

☐ Not recommended

☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---

☐ Never heard of

☑ Minor bugs

☐ Can get annoying

☐ ARK: Survival Evolved

☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---

☐ 1

☐ 2

☐ 3

☐ 4

☐ 5

☐ 6

☐ 7

☐ 8

☑ 9

☐ 10

---{ Graphics }---

☐ You forget what reality is

☐ Beautiful

☐ Good

☑ Decent

☐ Bad

☐ Don‘t look too long at it

☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---

☐ Very good

☑ Good

☐ It's just gameplay

☐ Mehh

☐ Watch paint dry instead

☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---

☐ Eargasm

☐ Very good

☑ Good

☐ Not too bad

☐ Bad

☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---

☑ Kids

☑ Teens

☐ Adults

☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---

☑ Check if you can run paint

☐ Potato

☐ Decent

☐ Fast

☐ Rich boi

☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---

☑ Just press 'W'

☐ Easy

☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master

☐ Significant brain usage

☐ Difficult

☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---

☐ Nothing to grind

☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks

☐ Isn't necessary to progress

☑ Average grind level

☐ Too much grind

☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---

☑ No Story

☐ Some lore

☐ Average

☐ Good

☐ Lovely

☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---

☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee

☐ Short

☑ Average

☐ Long

☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---

☑ It's free!

☐ Worth the price

☐ If it's on sale

☐ If u have some spare money left

☐ Not recommended

☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---

☑ Never heard of

☐ Minor bugs

☐ Can get annoying

☐ ARK: Survival Evolved

☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---

☐ 1

☐ 2

☐ 3

☐ 4

☐ 5

☐ 6

☐ 7

☑ 8

☐ 9

☐ 10

---{ Graphics }---

☐ You forget what reality is

☐ Beautiful

☑ Good

☐ Decent

☐ Bad

☐ Don‘t look too long at it

☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---

☐ Very good

☑ Good

☐ It's just gameplay

☐ Mehh

☐ Watch paint dry instead

☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---

☐ Eargasm

☑ Very good

☐ Good

☐ Not too bad

☐ Bad

☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---

☑ Kids

☑ Teens

☑ Adults

☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---

☐ Check if you can run paint

☑ Potato

☐ Decent

☐ Fast

☐ Rich boi

☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---

☐ Just press 'W'

☑ Easy

☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master

☐ Significant brain usage

☐ Difficult

☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---

☑ Nothing to grind

☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks

☐ Isn't necessary to progress

☐ Average grind level

☐ Too much grind

☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---

☐ No Story

☐ Some lore

☐ Average

☑ Good

☐ Lovely

☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---

☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee

☐ Short

☑ Average

☐ Long

☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---

☑ It's free!

☐ Worth the price

☐ If it's on sale

☐ If u have some spare money left

☐ Not recommended

☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---

☑ Never heard of

☐ Minor bugs

☐ Can get annoying

☐ ARK: Survival Evolved

☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---

☐ 1

☐ 2

☐ 3

☐ 4

☐ 5

☐ 6

☐ 7

☐ 8

☑ 9

☐ 10

---{ Graphics }---

☐ You forget what reality is

☐ Beautiful

☐ Good

☑ Decent

☐ Bad

☐ Don‘t look too long at it

☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---

☑ Very good

☐ Good

☐ It's just gameplay

☐ Mehh

☐ Watch paint dry instead

☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---

☐ Eargasm

☐ Very good

☑ Good

☐ Not too bad

☐ Bad

☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---

☐ Kids

☑ Teens

☑ Adults

☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---

☑ Check if you can run paint

☐ Potato

☐ Decent

☐ Fast

☐ Rich boi

☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---

☑ Just press 'W'

☐ Easy

☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master

☐ Significant brain usage

☐ Difficult

☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---

☑ Nothing to grind

☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks

☐ Isn't necessary to progress

☐ Average grind level

☐ Too much grind

☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---

☐ No Story

☐ Some lore

☐ Average

☐ Good

☐ Lovely

☑ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---

☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee

☐ Short

☑ Average

☐ Long

☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---

☑ It's free!

☐ Worth the price

☐ If it's on sale

☐ If u have some spare money left

☐ Not recommended

☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---

☑ Never heard of

☐ Minor bugs

☐ Can get annoying

☐ ARK: Survival Evolved

☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---

☐ 1

☐ 2

☐ 3

☐ 4

☐ 5

☐ 6

☐ 7

☑ 8

☐ 9

☐ 10

how'd you get that?

---{ Graphics }---

☐ You forget what reality is

☑ Beautiful

☐ Good

☐ Decent

☐ Bad

☐ Don‘t look too long at it

☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---

☐ Very good

☑ Good

☐ It's just gameplay

☐ Mehh

☐ Watch paint dry instead

☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---

☐ Eargasm

☐ Very good

☑ Good

☐ Not too bad

☐ Bad

☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---

☑ Kids

☑ Teens

☐ Adults

☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---

☑ Check if you can run paint

☐ Potato

☐ Decent

☐ Fast

☐ Rich boi

☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---

☐ Just press 'W'

☑ Easy

☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master

☐ Significant brain usage

☐ Difficult

☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---

☑ Nothing to grind

☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks

☐ Isn't necessary to progress

☐ Average grind level

☐ Too much grind

☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---

☐ No Story

☐ Some lore

☐ Average

☑ Good

☐ Lovely

☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---

☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee

☑ Short

☐ Average

☐ Long

☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---

☑ It's free!

☐ Worth the price

☐ If it's on sale

☐ If u have some spare money left

☐ Not recommended

☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---

☑ Never heard of

☐ Minor bugs

☐ Can get annoying

☐ ARK: Survival Evolved

☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---

☐ 1

☐ 2

☐ 3

☐ 4

☐ 5

☐ 6

☐ 7

☐ 8

☐ 9

☑ 10

:D

AWE

damn

that's right! you found me. keep up the good work, friend.

---{ Graphics }---

☐ You forget what reality is

☐ Beautiful

☐ Good

☑ Decent

☐ Bad

☐ Don‘t look too long at it

☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---

☐ Very good

☐ Good

☐ It's just gameplay

☑ Mehh

☐ Watch paint dry instead

☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---

☐ Eargasm

☐ Very good

☐ Good

☑ Not too bad

☐ Bad

☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---

☑ Kids

☑ Teens

☐ Adults

☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---

☐ Check if you can run paint

☑ Potato

☐ Decent

☐ Fast

☐ Rich boi

☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Difficulty }---

☐ Just press 'W'

☑ Easy

☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master

☐ Significant brain usage

☐ Difficult

☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---

☐ Nothing to grind

☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks

☑ Isn't necessary to progress

☐ Average grind level

☐ Too much grind

☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---

☑ No Story

☐ Some lore

☐ Average

☐ Good

☐ Lovely

☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---

☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee

☐ Short

☐ Average

☐ Long

☑ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---

☑ It's free!

☐ Worth the price

☐ If it's on sale

☐ If u have some spare money left

☐ Not recommended

☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---

☐ Never heard of

☑ Minor bugs

☐ Can get annoying

☐ ARK: Survival Evolved

☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---

☐ 1

☐ 2

☐ 3

☐ 4

☐ 5

☐ 6

☑ 7

☐ 8

☐ 9

☐ 10