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OUCH. the first doc just giving us birth control and antidepressants... so relatable. it was never "hm lets look further and do some blood tests just incase" it was always "it says here you've got anxiety, are you sure you're not just working yourself up until you faint?" or "you should see a gynecologist first, before we look into why you're fainting." also "well you're a little chubby, lose some weight first and come back if its still an issue." okay sure, and if i faint and crack my head open and die before that happens? it already almost happened, my friend caught my head before i hit a sharp desk corner. that was my second time fainting in only 20 mins. i nearly fainted in the middle of a road and he helped me get to a curb before i passed out. i legit just laid on the grass and lost consciousness. then he mentioned my body moved a little bit like i had a minor seizure so he rolled me on my side. which is like... UM??? thats concerning i fainted twice in 20 mins and potentially  seized and yet when i went to urgent care the next day they said i was completely fine and to go home since my blood work was okay. like ???? 

thats the first time anyone has cared enough to help me through a fainting spell, my parents didn't believe me until it happened in front of them and they didn't say shit to my doctors. i fainted the first time at 14, and it wasn't until i was 18 that someone looked after me. that same guy also ran back to campus for tissues for my massive nosebleed when we walked to a park by college. it was not a normal nosebleed either it GUSHED. the ground and my hoodie were covered it was so scary, my nosebleeds are so severe and rare. but like... the point is that i had all these concerning issues that could've been unrelated but also could've hinted at something REALLY serious. i was also starting to have issues with my vision decling, and a nosebleed on top of the fainting and occasional migraines as well as my SEVERE mental health issues had me wondering if something was wrong with my brain. nobody has ever checked it to this day.

my pediatrician had me see a gyno before testing my blood for anemia (which i don't have). i haven't bothered getting a diagnosis, i've had too many other more urgent issues to take care of and i've learned to perfectly accomodate my fainting issue. they've never listened past the initial blaming of me and my habits/age/gender/weight/ literally anything else but doing some damn tests. i'm 90% sure its POTS, i even brought it up to doctor number 3 i told about the fainting and he legit went "Oh! that makes sense, i'll refer you for a tilt test." that was all it took, but then i had appendicitis and other issues that were more urgent so i haven't asked for a new referall since i see a different doctor now and its just a mess. so this is already SO REAL AND OWWW

edit: OH MY GOD, THIS IS SO REAL. CRYING WHEN YOU FINALLY THINK YOU HAVE IT FIGURED OUT BUT YOU'RE WRONG, I DID THAT SHIT TOO

also i got what seems like the best possible ending first, just by doing the opposite of how i handled my own issues lol

omg. i can't unsee it, no wonder he looked so familiar

for future reference, it might be easier to look the positions up through urban dictionary

I didn't realize until after purchasing, but it isn't supported by the current versions of Mac IOS.

looove this game<3 wish the fanbase is bigger, i lowkey need friends to talk about this with lol. i've got so many screenshots of funny conversations, its great. it feels like actual jerks talking lol. also, i think its really funny that all of the main guys have at least one bot about them on character ai. they all have 2-6 of them. except Jerbear, obvi. he has 18 bots. 18!! nobody else has more than 6. mopey boy on top>>> 

i mean, the whole point is that ALL the main characters suck, including the MC. i think shes kind of funny. i'd never be her friend, but i'd watch a reality show about her lol. 

also, i'm not sure if its because i've only finished Jeremy and Everett's route and i'm halfway through Nate's but there IS a difference in how they treat you. its very subtle, because they're not going to suddenly become kind and complimentary people. they will always be jerks, they're just currently immature, unrefined, highschool jerks (except Bae ofc, the Antichrist could never be unrefined. he is superior and so adult after all lmao)

SPOILERS!!!

for example, Nate literally has a line about how he likes the MC more than he did before the MC made him talk about how he and Everett became friends. Nate would not be even spending a moment of his busy time with us if he wasn't interested. He's the least pushover-type of person in the group. He tries to end things because he was three minutes late to meet the MC, and therefore obviously not put-together enough to date. The MC teases him before realizing how bothered he actually is and drops her playfulness to comfort him. They stay together obviously, and when she asks if he actually WANTS to end things, he goes silent after all his excuses. Its cute tbh and the most healthy scene in the game I've seen. to quote the scene ending:

MC: "I'm almost glad you were late today. It sure is comforting to know I'm not the only one who falls short sometimes."

Nate: "Yeah, I guess."

MC: "I'll keep your secret if you keep mine. We could be partners in crime." (her secret was jokingly admitting she been late too, as if he didn't know that)

Nate: "God."

Nate: "Okay, I can... accept this. Thanks MC."

MC: "Don't mention it. And I mean that, secret partner."

Nate: "Hah, I won't. Don't call us that."

MC: "Would you prefer 'boyfriend'?"

Nate: "Yeah."

MC: "Deal."

Everett is the most obvious to me, and my personal favorite (though Jerbear is the only one i'd actually date because i'm a miserable mf with chronic mental and physical illnesses). his comments go from genuinely insulting to mostly trying to get a reaction. the insults don't stop because it's basically their love language. they both comment on it towards the end and agree it would be weird to stop arguing. the mf blushes all the time too!

Jeremy even blushes like 10 times total, and so far Nate has gotten really flustered once- like his face was all scrunched in embarassment he MC made a joke about being wet at the beach with him. if Nate is your highest affection level during the year 1 trip, you get a scene where he accidentally cries in frustration in front of you. there's no way he would've done that in front of Bae.

Everett literally lets you talk to his mom!! when you choose to stay with Everett, it seems like he just assumed that was what the MC wanted and is acting like he doesn't care either way. he even opens up about his insecurities and fear of the future towards the end. the only one i can see your point about is Shiloh, and thats because he legitimately might not be capable of being "real." 

Jeremy is much more subtle than the rest but not as much as i've heard about Shiloh. Also, Jerbear is literally a germophobe. he wouldn't hold just anyone's hand. he wouldn't make the risk or compromise himself whatsoever without reason.

Anyways thanks for listening to my TED Talk lmaoo

ngl, Lynn is my fav character so far lmao he deflects the flirting so expertly. also Everett has me cackling LMAO. i love all of these jerks tho

AHHH I'M SOBBING, THE VOWS, THE SPEECHES????

HOW DID I MISS THAT BAXTER WAS LEGIT BAXTER OMG. I didn't play his  DLC in B&A until recently (the first time i played this i had only done Cove's free story) so it didn't hit me until they said his initials were B.A.W. this is so bittersweet to me now cuz of how he said the friendships ended

SO SWEET!!! I adore the Suarez brothers with my whole heart. Nico is adorable and Jorge is so quietly caring!! the heart to heart they had legit made me tear up, it was so sweet. and I LOVE being able to treat Mr. Holden as a dad figure. its so funny because on my Baxter route, Mr. Holden was my first crush LOL but in Derek's route I keep making him tear up with how I treat him like a dad. its so cute. Obviously I love Derek too, but his character and his route wouldn't be as interesting without the care he has for his brothers 

aw, okay. i wish there was a little more focus on it. Toz was my bestie

press the upload save button by all the others at the top (by the stat view button). then scroll to the bottom and there's a tiny button that lets you upload the file. then you just scroll back up and press upload save

why does Toz suddenly hate me and Ruben in the epilogue??

omg i wasn't expecting a reply lol but awwww that pic is adorable. tbh i started playing the demo for the sex but i bought it on steam because i absolutely love these girls lol

Esxae is so adorable it hurts

there just really aren't enough pathetic male ROs. i want my man to be the damsel in distress, damnit

its not compatible with the most recent mac update, just a heads up. I can still play on my browser so its not a big deal

i'm obsessed with 2 (I chose Hope for his name) he's so pathetic <3 i mean that in a good way lol

WAIT OH MY GOD!! i LOVE The Wayhaven Chronicles, i didn't even realize i recognized her name on here until this comment