itch.io

First, I enjoyed the slider in the settings menu. I jumped on furniture, fired my stylus, collected many energy drinks, then lost it all falling on spikes over and over. I guess that's life?

How am I supposed to hit two buttons at once, when I am but a single tiny man? I never did find the answer to this riddle, but I did hit the forbidden button, and write DONGS on the screen, so I think I won the moral victory anyway.

I was a bit unclear when certain tasks were complete, even with the color coding and timers, but I did manage to get everything all set for a romantic evening of fingerprinting and miranda rights!

My arms glow and the alarm sounds, I fall to my death out the back of the elevator. I try again, this time exiting the elevator before it rotates through the wall and a voice sounds on the intercom. One wrong step and I'm falling through the void again. Third time I manage to grab a phone and ID, look around and see nowhere to go. I try walking in a direction and find my old friend again, Mr. Fallingthroughthevoid. Pretty accurate depiction of office life.

I renewed Jason's license, then denied evil Jason from getting a license. The goose is going to murder me. Just another monday.

I couldn't see Rye so I failed! I made the drink correctly the second try! No wait, you can make any drink, it doesn't care! They all look different but no one ever drinks them! Am I real? Are you? Who knows!

No matter how many times I tried, I couldn't click the burgers. I did manage to serve a bunch of other customers though, but that poor hungry trucker...

No orders, cool. Man this place is huge. Oh there's an order now, and it tells me right where it is! I just go... uh, none of these aisles, shelves or bays are labeled... So how am I supposed to find the right- oh, I lost? Ok cool.

I thought the first level time limit was way too short, then beat the game on the second try, so maybe it's fine? Not sure why I was shooting up my workplace and killing all of my co-workers, but who hasn't dreamed of that, am I right?

I very slowly fetched fish, one at a time, for the angry animals waiting at the top. They seemed infinitely patient while also furious, which is probably why none of them paid. I think I won?

I was able to extinguish enough of my belongings to still have my date. Kind of unclear why my cat is so spicy but he's got a sweet little face so I love him anyway.

My wife says the cat is too sexy. 5/10 ruined my marriage.

I wasn't able to grab any ingredients by pressing E near them and so I wasn't able to make a single meal.

So when you try to restart, it's bugged and you can't look away from the baby. I wasn't able to smoke a cigarette no matter how many times I hit E, and to drive the car am I supposed to MASH the buttons or hold them down? The car seemed to want to careen into the curb either way.

Works properly for me!