The fervor with which I want my MC to rain fire and brimstone on everything and sow the seeds of misery and destruction in everyone while audibly cackling is a little frightening, so I can only applaud your writing and the many interesting choices for it. I'm eagerly awaiting more.
necroberry
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A member registered May 25, 2023
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I was just wondering about when the next ep would be up. I don't think I can call myself a lurker anymore, when I keep popping out for you, lol. It was lovely to get to know more of Flea's past, it put some things into perspective and I enjoyed seeing some more bits and pieces of the world building. It was also nice to see how organically Flea is evolving - or, well, was evolving, at least. We're only on chapter 4, so I'm leery of what misery this spells for the future. But I like to look at this partly as Flea's sort-of-bildungsroman - the trials and tribulations come with the territory, so the crisis can only set-up for a beautiful pupation. Hopefully.
I don't usually comment on things, as I'm a little curmudgeonly and prefer to show my support with money (you know, like the shite absent father except the female version), but I just wanted to drop a quick note to say that I'm absolutely hooked on this, and I can't wait to see more. I also want to especially commend you and thank you for giving us an MMC in their mid-thirties, it's really appreciated it. I can't tell you how many times I see love interests in their early 20s and have to nope out of there, cuz not to yuck anybody's yum, but I'm too damn old for that shit and can't relate at all.
The constant switch between tenses (from present simple to past simple) in the narration really threw me off and, unfortunately, it kind of ruined the immersion for me. I barely made it past naming the character. I'm sure it's a lovely story, but in its current state it's not for me. I'll certainly check up on it in the future, once it's a little bit more polished ^_^. Best of luck in the meantime!