itch.io

It could really use larger text (I know twine is a pain with that sort of the thing, but it would help a lot with the fancier text.) I think it might also help to add in some basic background music. Here's some help on those things:
Font Size: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xf8jPbxU340
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm9Lvd1Qg4Y

Visually very appealing, the writing was tight at touching, a little bit of sound would go a long way though, even a simple tune or a few sound effects would really bring it to life!