itch.io

Thanks for the reply! I hear you on your opinion and I think it's valid too. 

As I said in my post, some people may be ok with what's happening, and that's because they have a higher tolerance for over the top scenes, but me I prefer a more realistic approach to VNs. 

That's also why I praised the relationships too, I find them true to the characters and the story that's being portrayed. In fact, it's probably because of this that I find some of the scenes too jarring for my taste. The cooking being an out of this world experience is an example, even though it's part of the main plot and I know it's the story the autor wants to tell.

I think I said this, but there's no need for the scenes to be that crazy to make the story work, or create meaningful interactions between characters. You could simply be the son of the world's most renown chef and also be the son of one of the best martial artists in the world, and I would believe that. You can then make funny scenes by other means. But again, this is simply my taste.

As for the fight talk, I agree with you. When you are the one in control, you can talk as long as you please, no problem. The thing is, I didn't want to spoil anything, but you know how there's this "confrontation" we see with Yuna and the second person she ever trusted in? Yeah, that was what I was referring to. Tbh, I shouldn't have called that a fight, but it was a still a monologue that was only there to give exposition that didn't need to happen at that time. Just have them talk the same day about it, then Yuna leaves because she's feeling confused or angry, then returns later to the scene (maybe the door was already opened) with the confrontation already started, and then the other "thing" happens and Yuna "awakens" her "instincts"... I don't know if you get what I'm saying. I'm trying very hard to get my point across without spoiling stuff.

Also, I agree with you in that there's not really a problem with someone being really good at cooking and fighting being young, considering his upbringing. But then you have him also being smart enough to have a high-paying job in IT. How he got into uni in the first place I have no idea, and is not a topic talked about in any way. It just shows, casually, that he works that type of job. That's why I say he seems too good at everything.

About the suspension of disbelief topic, you know what makes me stop and think "no way this is actually happening"? When we have very simple scenes, minimalist decoration at home or the office, simple clothes, honest people that mean well, an MC that doesn't flaunt his riches... but then drives a car that outright looks like something out of a racing game from my Steam library. It just doesn't belong in the scene, and not in the story either. As I said, I don't think the MC, who's had a very modest lifestyle during his childhood and seems like a humble and simple person on the outside, should/would drive a car like that.

Lastly, as for the introversion thingy, I for sure must know way less about depression than you, so this is not my place to speak. However, I should say that for me being in a completely different setting has never really done anything other than learn a couple things about me and others, but otherwise I remain unchanged. With that out of the way, I went into the story fully convinced that this would be the tale of an introverted person, that was hurt by a previous experience, learning to love himself again, learning to love another woman again without fear of losing her, and opening up to people and become more social. I guess I was wrong. 

But then you made me think. This is just the cherry on top of that whole "the MC is just too good at everything".

The cooking: too extra. The fighting... well, that's ok, no complaints. The money: too much. The car doesn't belong. The IT job: how? The extroversion, while working in a field that's not really full of social people either, and also coming from a little town in the mountains where, I presume, there aren't that many people to develop social skills with even if you did have the time after hours of training and cooking with your mom: also how? It seems too much for me.

Btw, I don't think you're wrong even if I don't agree on what you say. We look forward to different stuff, and enjoy some other. It's ok. I still liked the game, and I enjoyed this "debate" hahaha.

Cheers.

Hi, NiiChan. First of all, I want to congratulate you on your work on this, since I'm always skeptical about this type of games, mostly about the story since I usually expect at least something decent from the animations. As someone before me has said, your characters do feel realistic and they showcase your best work, which I'd say is creating meaningful and real interactions between characters. But I do have some criticism about some other parts and I'd like you to take it into consideration.

First of all, I've not yet finished all episodes, I'm about halfway done with ep. 4 I think, so maybe these issues are resolved later or you have an explanation for these later down the line once or if the game is fully completed.

Now, about these issues, I think the first is very obvious, and it's that the MC is too good at everything at a very young age. It's a guy that can cook, fight, is a great guy, and has a lot of money (probably, since maintenance of a high-end car like he has is really expensive).

Why do I have an issue with this? Let's start with cooking.

I know this is a huge part in the game (no spoilers in case someone else reads this), but his skill level is unrealistic to say the least. It's something you use as a way to "gain points" with some of the girls, but I don't think it has to be taken to the extremes it does, even if it may make the scene funny. You know how when we watch a movie or play a game that takes place in a fantasy setting or has a character that can fly or use magic or whatever we still believe that what's happening is real (in that movie or game)? It's because we do this "suspension of disbelief" to avoid analyzing something too much in order to enjoy it. However, there's a limit to how much we are willing to believe in. For some people, nothing may detract from their enjoyment, but I just can't believe the MC's cooking skills, I'm sorry. You can still make wholesome scenes of the MC cooking for a girl and that girl falling in love with him because it tastes amazing and he looks great in an apron or whatever, but any more than that and it makes it too unbelievable.

As for fighting, I've not seen any issue with it yet, but if he does anything while fighting as crazy as he does while cooking, Matrix style or something like that, I won't enjoy it either. I don't think you need to make it very flashy or use unnatural speed/strength for it look good. I don't know if it's your plan or I'm jumping the gun here, I hope it's the second.

Not much to talk about the MC being a good guy, although I saw it weird how fast he switched from introversion to social in less than a week, considering that at the start of the game he still has issues with his past. I would rearrange the game so that more or later scenes happen before he goes back to the extroverted version of him.

Money talk. How? Ok, I know that you (barely) touch upon the subject later, but there's no way he can have that car. In fact, the first scene with him and Eliza in the car just threw me off and couldn't help but laugh. Not only I don't believe he has that kind of car, I also don't believe the MC would need or like that kind of car. He doesn't seem like the person that would drive one of those, to me at least. And even though it's not mentioned, considering that he only got a job in the worst paying company he could find (for the type of job he's looking for), I find it impossible to retain the car considering expenses like maintenance, gas, repairs, etc.

I know this was a lot, but it's the stuff I know I can talk about the most without spoiling anything.

Another issue I have is something I've seen done twice, which is having a very long conversation while in a fight. You can actually write most of it before or after those fights. Having a 5 minute talk (or longer) is just not realistic and takes you out of the action. For me it just takes too long, I don't know.

Next, the use of time. I'm actually glad you make use of "time skipping" to help the story progress to avoid making it look like all these relationships are formed in literal days, as some others do. It really helps the immersion. However, I found some "time skips" that were either too large or too small, but won't talk about it because spoilers. 

In fact, I'd appreciate if you had a public email or some other way to contact you to speak about this privately just so I don't reveal the story for the others. If not, that's ok, I know you'll still improve the more you keep writing and making games, it's just a matter of time, but I like criticizing the stuff I love and genuinely think that any help I can provide is good.

P.S.: I find the animations abruptly stopping before starting again, and it doesn't look "fluid". The beginning and end of the animations are not connected correctly, I don't know if you can fix that.