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i believe you need to be male(choose the male presest character just incase) , have good-looking trait(probably not). when ma rin asks you to look into xiwen before the Zone you agree, tak to xiwen at the volcano before talking to Tang Wei. When you wake up and talk to Ma Rin just agree to the things she want you to do, then when you learn about Xiwen tell her(might not be needed). then when you start choosing elders choose her.

i believe mei and tigress are not, but you cant be sure since the romances are not fleshed out yet.

though i believe Ruo is straight.

i believe you need to click upload save again after choosing the file, then it should either reload the save or it goes to the saved games at the top

Also Tang Ruo reqiures you to be of the the opposite gender to be romanced, its in the code. The reasoning might be because their an heir of the empire.

Its because you kept the bomb Mei Mei gave you, you should have either used it or thrown it away when you had a chance, it even gave you a warning that if you were not gonna use it you should throw it away