Conversation with the moist towelette isn't going anywhere. There has to be another method of getting it to understand us. I'm going to start looking through books on communication, linguistics, written languages, and more.

(only 5 replies because I'm studying in the library)

"Music - The Universal Instrument of Communication"

That's the title of a book I just finished reading. It says that even without a shared language, one can use music as a way to communicate emotion.  This is very interesting, considering that the moist towelette's hums are very musical and very emotional indeed. With such a heart-wrenching, sad melody, I can only imagine what the towelette has been through.

"The Pecking Order - Examining the Social Hierarchy of Chickens and Other Fowl Creatures"

I picked this book up on a whim. It was a fascinating read - it revealed all the details of chicken social interaction. Apparently, chickens respect physical size - the larger chickens are highest up in the hierarchy and get the first pick of food and mates. The smaller defers to the largest. And chickens of the same size fight it out for dominance.

So, chickens respect size and aggression, and they're pretty good fighters. I wonder if this could ever come in handy?

"Starting a Dialogue With Other Intelligent Species"

An interesting resource. It details the ways that we might communicate with other species that have a similar level of intelligence. To summarize, intelligent species like math, so we should show them our best map to make friends with them.

"English to Mushspeak Dictionary"

Apparently all the words and phrases used by the "Mush People" are mushroom puns...

"How to Strike up a Conversation with Anyone (or Anything)"

A confidence-building self-help book. The book repeatedly claims that, if you just believe in yourself, you can talk to anything. Yes, that's right - just start talking to something and you'll magically be able to understand it. I don't know how true that is, but it sure was inspirational!

I'm now finished with my studies, and recorded my knowledge here for you all. We should now be able to attempt to start conversations with other beings, as well as more effectively communicate with them.

Although one such project has already started and it will still take [10 replies], you may now start a [COMMUNICATE] project that takes [only 5 replies] to complete thanks to BrandLibel's close study of communication with other species.

This is not limited to things that appear to be alive; indeed, you can [COMMUNICATE] with absolutely anything.

You might not learn much, depending on the subject.