I have been trying to complete the Helper Hand quest and the Blacksmith Assistant quest for over 30 minutes now.  The descriptions the quests give are horrific and I have no idea what to do or how to do it.  I've tried talking to the leader of the guild to see how I can do the quest, i've tried buying and giving slaves to the guild owners.  How the bloody hell do I do these quests.  I have also already checked both wikis throughly, they don't help either.  Please help me.

I think those are quests you let your Workers do.

Just go to the occupation tab where you can let them gather stuff at your Mansion and the quests should be there.

Just let someone work at it for a few rounds.

Yeah, to be clear, from the main mansion screen, click the occupation of anyone currently at the Mansion (by default, "Rest").  That will bring you to the occupation screen.  You should have an icon for each of the quests that you can then assign workers to.  It will take some number of turns to complete them (which can be non-contiguous, and/or with different workers).  

The quests you list both use Physics, so workers with better Physics will make faster progress.  Other quests you can get from the job board are similar but use Wits or Charm.  

Omg thank you so much, the tutorial did not cover that at all and I was left confused af.  Truly and geniuenly thank both.