Yay a visual novel! Great job on a storyline with many classic tropes-- even if I could predict where things were going because of them, it was still fun to see how you chose to pull them off or add a twist! Like other people, it took me a bit to realize that the player is Lily but once that was cleared up I was mostly swept up in the story and it didn't bother me, personally. I do think that the sprite choice to make Mother and Spring have red eyes when they were being suspicious made the overall tone way more sinister than it actually ended up being haha
Also really appreciated the ability to immediately go back to the last choice that led to the non-true endings and to change my decisions!
Just a little thing-- I think for Buddy Up Jam there's a thing about making sure you have the legal right to use certain assets. While I don't think that the ai bg are as obvious of a problem, the main menu song is definitely copyrighted regardless of who's performance it is T.T (I would just be careful about keeping that song in as is if you plan to develop this game further!)
Thank you for reading TLS and giving feedback TwoFish!
I'm really greatful for your constructive critisism and suggestions, I will make sure to apply the necessary changes to make this a better VN.
I'm glad you enjoyed certain aspects of the novel, your feedback will be taken into consideration and applied. Seeing as I'm still fairly new to the vn stuff I wasn't aware of copyrights and so on (I had gone solo on all of this :) ) thanks a bunch for letting me know, I will also make sure to change that!
Nice game, it has a lot of story and great ideas. I agree with other comments, like giving each character a distinct color, so it's more clear. And about the last interactions loosing some of the rhythm. I think explaining less, but in a more natural way would be better. But, for a jam game, I appreciate keeping it short and to the point, so we can get the concept, rate it and go to play the other submission. One criticism I would personally give is the lack of choices, there wasn't much interactions (2 or 3) so it felt more like a novel than a game. I know that we have a lot of a time restriction, but I'd have liked more instances where we as players could choose the dialog (even if it didn't change the ending at all, but just to feel more impactful on our side). Anyways, you did a great job and managed to submit in two jams, so congrats ♥
Ahhh thank you so much for your feedback HydriaSensus!!
I can see you really put in effort into reading the vn and much is really appreciated! Of course I will go back and make the neccessary changes for it to be as good as possible; applying all the feeback I have received so far. Your explanation and well constructed critisism has helped a lot and I will be taking it to heart.
Thank you for playing TLS and taking the time out of your day to speak about your experience~
It was very confusing for me to know which character was talking when it came to the sisters and I wish that the characteristics of the flowers could be seen in the character design :D
Oh thank you very much for taking your time in giving me feedback!
Oh I wish too that I could incorporate the flowers into the character designs, but I currently cannot produce any sprites myself seeing as it's really hard to draw on a laptop :")
Thank you for letting me know about the confusion, I will make sure to make some changes in the future!
That was quite a story! I gotta say that the piano and the daughters concerns where hitting the spot, but I feel like the explanation of Spring's nature got too technical and snaped me out of the emotion of the moment, I was face against the screen though!
Thank you for your feedback, it's really appreciated K4ution!
I've had similar comments made by some friends and tried to work on it more, i'm greatful for your pointing out and explanation! I will go into the story later on and make improved changes :)
Comments
Yay a visual novel! Great job on a storyline with many classic tropes-- even if I could predict where things were going because of them, it was still fun to see how you chose to pull them off or add a twist! Like other people, it took me a bit to realize that the player is Lily but once that was cleared up I was mostly swept up in the story and it didn't bother me, personally. I do think that the sprite choice to make Mother and Spring have red eyes when they were being suspicious made the overall tone way more sinister than it actually ended up being haha
Also really appreciated the ability to immediately go back to the last choice that led to the non-true endings and to change my decisions!
Just a little thing-- I think for Buddy Up Jam there's a thing about making sure you have the legal right to use certain assets. While I don't think that the ai bg are as obvious of a problem, the main menu song is definitely copyrighted regardless of who's performance it is T.T (I would just be careful about keeping that song in as is if you plan to develop this game further!)
Thank you for reading TLS and giving feedback TwoFish!
I'm really greatful for your constructive critisism and suggestions, I will make sure to apply the necessary changes to make this a better VN.
I'm glad you enjoyed certain aspects of the novel, your feedback will be taken into consideration and applied. Seeing as I'm still fairly new to the vn stuff I wasn't aware of copyrights and so on (I had gone solo on all of this :) ) thanks a bunch for letting me know, I will also make sure to change that!
Thank you so much <3
Nice game, it has a lot of story and great ideas. I agree with other comments, like giving each character a distinct color, so it's more clear.
And about the last interactions loosing some of the rhythm. I think explaining less, but in a more natural way would be better. But, for a jam game, I appreciate keeping it short and to the point, so we can get the concept, rate it and go to play the other submission.
One criticism I would personally give is the lack of choices, there wasn't much interactions (2 or 3) so it felt more like a novel than a game. I know that we have a lot of a time restriction, but I'd have liked more instances where we as players could choose the dialog (even if it didn't change the ending at all, but just to feel more impactful on our side).
Anyways, you did a great job and managed to submit in two jams, so congrats ♥
Ahhh thank you so much for your feedback HydriaSensus!!
I can see you really put in effort into reading the vn and much is really appreciated! Of course I will go back and make the neccessary changes for it to be as good as possible; applying all the feeback I have received so far. Your explanation and well constructed critisism has helped a lot and I will be taking it to heart.
Thank you for playing TLS and taking the time out of your day to speak about your experience~
Oh thank you very much for taking your time in giving me feedback!
Oh I wish too that I could incorporate the flowers into the character designs, but I currently cannot produce any sprites myself seeing as it's really hard to draw on a laptop :")
Thank you for letting me know about the confusion, I will make sure to make some changes in the future!
Thanks a bunch Reyna_uwu ~
That was quite a story! I gotta say that the piano and the daughters concerns where hitting the spot, but I feel like the explanation of Spring's nature got too technical and snaped me out of the emotion of the moment, I was face against the screen though!
Nice job
Thank you for your feedback, it's really appreciated K4ution!
I've had similar comments made by some friends and tried to work on it more, i'm greatful for your pointing out and explanation! I will go into the story later on and make improved changes :)
Thank you for your time!