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ÆGIS's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| STYLE | #21 | 2.907 | 3.250 |
| Overall | #27 | 2.907 | 3.250 |
| SUBSTANCE | #28 | 2.907 | 3.250 |
Ranked from 4 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Cool submission! I think adding some more bold text would help break-up some of the content where there is a lot of text. Page 4 is a lot easier to read than page 5 for example. I am excited reading the [more to be delivered] at the end so cannot wait to see the next version :D
Thank you for this feedback. You're right, there are sections that become walls of text. I'll have to see which sections naturally jump out to me for logical highlights and breakpoints.
Why you should check this out: an quick-read, well laid-out, interesting faction.
Style: a clean, on-brand layout with more generous margins, a5(?) single column pages and some spot symbols / patent style art. It feels very consistent with FIST’s aesthetic.
Structure: there is a good balance of flavour and lore that gives just enough information for a referee to incorporate the faction into their table.
Content: the content is well balanced between the greek inspiration and the ‘bureau of control’ style theme. The writing is flavourful and punchy.
What might I change?
- Content: I’m slightly confused who ‘you’ refers to in the ‘shield bearers’ section
Good callout about the usage of 'you' in certain phrasings. I'll have to take another pass to tighten this up.