Really like the artstyle and character design! I'm interested in seeing where this goes with the  setting and the themes you have going on. I feel for the main character, to me at least it felt like struggling with anxiety which is a relatable feeling. 

Some things that did stick out to me was spelling/grammar, but just spend a little time on editing the script in the future and it should be fine. I also second another commenter's suggestion of some intense music stings to mesh with the more anxious moments of the game.

I like the idea you were going for here. Art was nice! Keep it up.

Let me just say... you really nailed the feeling of burnout in this one. From the aimless social media scrolling and what people were talking about on it, to lack of motivation in classes, to the lies... it really hits everyone affected by quarantine really really hard. Awesome job getting the relatable feel and emotions.

The cyber aspect was really neat too. The only thing is, it would be cool to see more of how a world with that advanced of prosthetics affects other day to day things. Like in the room. Even if the balcony had like an automatic sliding door. Or maybe in what Midori offers Raid to do. That would really built more in to that world.

Also the art style is beautiful! And the music, while short and simple, complimented the mood. The only thing I'd suggest is maybe a few more different themes. Especially like, some more intense music when the red screens appear when Raid's stress rises!

The only real big issue I had was with the text boxes. For one thing, if possible, it would be nice if the name of the character was in a separate little box on top, or inside the textbox itself. They were kind of hard to see sometimes. Especially in the cut scene were Raid rolls up her pant leg, it was her green name on the green fabric.

But most importantly... typos. There were a lot of spelling, grammar and run on sentence errors that took away from what was otherwise a phenomenal story. Believe me, I know the time crunch for a jam makes it easy to leave typos alone. But whether it's for future jams or for editing this one: here's a really easy way to make sure to catch a lot of typos.

Copy and paste your script into Microsoft Word and turn on text to speech. Have the robot voice read the entire thing to you. You can even have it playing in the background while you're doing something like coding. It's tedious, for sure. But the thing is, the text to speech reads words the way they would be pronounced, so it catches misspelled words in a flash! And hearing it out loud also helps you catch some sentences that ramble or sound redundant, since the text to speech also follows punctuation. And then once you're done you can just copy and paste the revised script back into your code form!

With those errors out of the way, you'll be golden.

Really well done with this. It made our whole team a little emotional with how relatable some parts felt. Hope the notes help you make it even better. Keep up the good work :)

-Sasha

this is sooo good