Really interesting game! I included it in part 8 of my WAG Challenge compilation video series, if you would like to check it out :) https://youtu.be/s0Fzo8YiKT0

@qualifiedbadger

Thanks for the praise! I'll be sure to tell the guy who did the music that you enjoyed it.

@Tophat Haze

Yeah, I plan on going back and fixing the story because I don't think that it works quite like I had intended, so I do agree with you there. It was a simple case of running out of time.

The save/load thing wasn't really necessary in a ten minute game and I'm still new to all this so I ran out of time before properly discovering how to get rid of it all, ha ha. I have to disagree that it makes it more painful for the player, but to each his own

As for the Windows build thing that was just time and internet restriction thing. When I do the improved version I'll upload for Windows, Mac and Linux.

So thanks for the criticisms and I shall take 'em to heart. I did check out your game too, but itch.io is also new to me and I put my comment where I rated it and so yeah... whoops...

A soothing, melancholic experience. The music matched the mood perfectly. Yet another game which I can't describe in words, yet affected me deeply. Well done.

Overall, the story, though it seems interesting, is a bit too confusing, and the presentation doesn't help much.

Oh, and I see you tried to make it saving/loading impossible. Nice try, but I can save by pressing escape. Next time, when disabling save/load, delete the filepicker, save, and load screens, or all of the Save/Load section, from screens.rpy. Though I don't see a real reason to disable saving and loading; if anything, it just makes things more painful for the player.

I'm also did the WAG challenge, by the way. You can find my game, Literate, here: http://itch.io/jam/wag-challenge/rate/29610

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[Spoilers!]

First of all, why do you only have a windows build? Renpy is perfectly capable of making Mac and Linux builds, so why aren't those available?

Secondly, I'm very confused by the story. I walked towards a wall of light, and a forest appeared, and then a baby was born? If I'm the baby, why am I trying to remember something at the beginning? And what was with the forest? If I'm the mother of the baby, it still doesn't make much sense. The constantly shifting tenses, from 2nd to 1st to 3rd at the end, don't help much either.

And then there's the presentation. Text flashing on the screen, and then moving in the textbox, and then flashing on the screen again, over and over again. It...wasn't very appealing. I got bored pretty quickly, and I enjoy visual novels; I've even made a few of my own.

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