This was terrific! I loved the visuals--both the sprites and that wonderful UI frame--and the music fit perfectly. The slow build of the interactions between the two leads was wonderfully done, and the cultural details about the dark elves were fascinating. I can't wait to read the later chapters!
For the later chapters--since you won't be in jam-time crunch--I'd recommend having a native English-speaker proofread your dialog. With everything else being so fantastic, the errors became more jarring. Not game-breaking, by any means, though. :) Edit: I want to simply delete the second paragraph of my comment, because in looking back it feels kind of rude, but I can't really do that because what if you already saw it and...well, my brain will spiral downward on that notion endlessly, so...I'm just putting it in strikethrough. And also apologizing that my suggestion reads like a criticism--and worse, a criticism for something I could never do in a million years. (Despite my occasional delusions to the contrary, I know myself well enough to know that I will never master a second language to the point of being able to write in it. Hopefully I'll get to the level of being able to read one, but...) I'm sorry; I'm very bad at communicating with others, even in text form. (And I'm downright useless at speaking to people...)
Heyyyy Pyrrhalphis! Your feedbacks and criticisms are very welcome! Dont' worry at all, you have been quite nice in saying what you think.
I've been looking for some beta-readers but they couldn't check out the text in time, so I just had to... translate it from Deepl and throw it in the code. Our Editor gave us some beta-reading but as there was not much time left, and the fixes she put were huge, I couldn't check out the text in time as well. I also... uhm am a bit unsure because I found out that I don't like other people twisting my writing too much, so I'm not comfortable with a beta-reader that takes all the text and rewrites it, so I need to trust someone now in order to ask them to help me with the english T__T This made it more difficult for the dialogue to be english-wise correct. But I hope I'll find a good solution for that, and thank you for the feedback because you're helping a lot with this :)
By the way, I am incredibly happy that you appreciated the visuals, and the frame and all, and I'm happy that I shared this with you! After a bit of a break, I'm sure we'll go back to taking care of the game for next chapters!
The story in this game was great! Also loved the music and sound choice <3 If there's ever more releases of this storyline/in this general worldbuild, I'd deffo play it.
One thing I'd say is that it'd probably be best to avoid sprites with CG? It can look kind of weird to have two bodies of the same person on-screen at the same time. From what I've viewed, it looks best if you REALLY need to change expressions, just to make slight edits to the CG itself! (Like adding tears, changing the mouth from smiling to frowning, etc.)
Hey Bubblefire Studios, thank you very much for your comment and your feedback! It's very much appreciated!
About the CGs, yeah I agree with you. I kinda tried to make an experiment with sprites in the CG because I wanted to see if I could meh! let them change the expression without having to make 3 different CGs, but the result is not the best one. Your feedback on it is very useful because then we can understand what works and what doesn't! So thank you a lot.
The music was chosen by me, but most of the sound library comes from EdsanGames!!! They have a reeeally wide library to choose from. They also had a ehm. nsfw library but I thought it was too graphic in the end and didn't put it in the game. But I... really had fun testing that too hahahah!
I'm very happy that you enjoy this kind of storyline or worldbuild, is one of those that I really like and that I don't thin I see enough in VNs. We'll update the game with more chapters if you like to have more of the game :3 thanks again for stopping by!
Comments
This was terrific! I loved the visuals--both the sprites and that wonderful UI frame--and the music fit perfectly. The slow build of the interactions between the two leads was wonderfully done, and the cultural details about the dark elves were fascinating. I can't wait to read the later chapters!
For the later chapters--since you won't be in jam-time crunch--I'd recommend having a native English-speaker proofread your dialog. With everything else being so fantastic, the errors became more jarring. Not game-breaking, by any means, though. :)Edit: I want to simply delete the second paragraph of my comment, because in looking back it feels kind of rude, but I can't really do that because what if you already saw it and...well, my brain will spiral downward on that notion endlessly, so...I'm just putting it in strikethrough. And also apologizing that my suggestion reads like a criticism--and worse, a criticism for something I could never do in a million years. (Despite my occasional delusions to the contrary, I know myself well enough to know that I will never master a second language to the point of being able to write in it. Hopefully I'll get to the level of being able to read one, but...) I'm sorry; I'm very bad at communicating with others, even in text form. (And I'm downright useless at speaking to people...)Heyyyy Pyrrhalphis! Your feedbacks and criticisms are very welcome! Dont' worry at all, you have been quite nice in saying what you think.
I've been looking for some beta-readers but they couldn't check out the text in time, so I just had to... translate it from Deepl and throw it in the code. Our Editor gave us some beta-reading but as there was not much time left, and the fixes she put were huge, I couldn't check out the text in time as well. I also... uhm am a bit unsure because I found out that I don't like other people twisting my writing too much, so I'm not comfortable with a beta-reader that takes all the text and rewrites it, so I need to trust someone now in order to ask them to help me with the english T__T
This made it more difficult for the dialogue to be english-wise correct. But I hope I'll find a good solution for that, and thank you for the feedback because you're helping a lot with this :)
By the way, I am incredibly happy that you appreciated the visuals, and the frame and all, and I'm happy that I shared this with you! After a bit of a break, I'm sure we'll go back to taking care of the game for next chapters!
The story in this game was great! Also loved the music and sound choice <3 If there's ever more releases of this storyline/in this general worldbuild, I'd deffo play it.
One thing I'd say is that it'd probably be best to avoid sprites with CG? It can look kind of weird to have two bodies of the same person on-screen at the same time. From what I've viewed, it looks best if you REALLY need to change expressions, just to make slight edits to the CG itself! (Like adding tears, changing the mouth from smiling to frowning, etc.)
Either way!! It was great umu
Hey Bubblefire Studios, thank you very much for your comment and your feedback! It's very much appreciated!
About the CGs, yeah I agree with you. I kinda tried to make an experiment with sprites in the CG because I wanted to see if I could meh! let them change the expression without having to make 3 different CGs, but the result is not the best one. Your feedback on it is very useful because then we can understand what works and what doesn't! So thank you a lot.
The music was chosen by me, but most of the sound library comes from EdsanGames!!! They have a reeeally wide library to choose from. They also had a ehm. nsfw library but I thought it was too graphic in the end and didn't put it in the game. But I... really had fun testing that too hahahah!
I'm very happy that you enjoy this kind of storyline or worldbuild, is one of those that I really like and that I don't thin I see enough in VNs. We'll update the game with more chapters if you like to have more of the game :3 thanks again for stopping by!