The premise feels fresh, and the prose is sharp – the opening line is great, one of the better ones I've seen in the jam so far. Without spending a lot of words, Wraith also manages to establish a striking mood and paint fairly believably character portraits. The biggest writing adjustment I'd make is keeping the lines a little shorter on average; some are long enough that they don't fit in the UI, and in general, I think visual novels read a little smoother with tight sentences that really drive you forward to the next text block.
Presentation-wise, the game is pretty plain. How the sprite is positioned unfortunately looks somewhat goofy, and the unedited backgrounds – many of which don't necessarily look like they belong together – don't really help avoid the impression that you're looking at a bunch of stock photos. The credits sequence is a nice bit of visual flair, but I would have liked seeing more of that in the actual story, too.
(As for the jam's theme: ??? maybe i'm just bad at reading but i didn't really notice anything that felt relevant)