That is a HELL of an opening line tbh

And the rest of the VN continues to deliver!  I really loved the prose, it was a really appropriately heavy for the subject matter.  I really loved the atmosphere you were able to capture with royalty-free images and provided sprites.

I would have loved to see Jo's reactions or have her on-screen, but I understand the limitations of the jam.  I think it was a good entry within the confines!

I liked the writing a lot in this one, it managed to set the mood perfectly. The story lacked some better payoff, but I enjoyed the journey. I loved the music too, although like with every other asset in the game, it could use some better transitions.

Visually, the VN is kind of bare bone and I feel like it lacks a clear vision. While the backgrounds were decent on their own, the overall VN lacks direction: for example, in the first few minutes we move from very bright backgrounds (almost blindingly so) to a dark dimly lit room.

I like the concept.  

I vascillated between thinking the love interest was literally a ghost that was haunting her, or her mind being in such a broken state that it was a hallucination as she tried to make sense of the tragedy.  

The fact he was unaware of the journal's location or the combination pointed to the latter, but the unfinished business that had already been addressed indicated the former for me, but I have no issue with that being left up to interpretation.

I wish I would have known a bit more about the relationship itself, but you captured the helplessness and desperation one feels after losing someone important to them.

Given most of the backgrounds that were used, I would suggest using a larger version of the sprite, perhaps from the waist up.  Adding some transparency or slow fade/dissolve effects would also go a long way in conveying the premise.

One other small tweak I would suggest is a slower fade between the main melancholy track and the more upbeat conclusion music.  It was a slightly jarring transition, though both compositions fit their respective sections of the narrative.

10th VN I will read from this Jam here we go!

Edit 1: Ok, I have just read this entry. Here are my thoughts.

First of all, this VN reminds me of "Hour" (another entry for this jam, made by mayo milkshake) in many aspects. They are both quite short; supernatural elements are part of their worlds; and have the story arranged in a similar way. In "Hour", there is little time to introduce the story before the action gets to its climax (anachronically); while in Wraith there is no time at all, the action starts right from the beginning and never stops until the story ends. It's fast, all climax, which might make the reader feel as if they were not reading the VN from the beginning.

Prose is a mix between internal and external dialogue you would hear from a real person and some symbolical figures used to enhance aesthetics, as if it was a poem. That is something I have hardly seen in other VN's of this jam so far, yet I believe it could use some polishing to be better appreciated.

Concerning theme implementation, it's hard to get it, but I believe it has something to do with expansion of truth, uncovering a secret.

Those are my thoughts on this VN.  Now I will give you a rate to boost your performance in this Jam. Thanks for the experience!

The premise feels fresh, and the prose is sharp – the opening line is great, one of the better ones I've seen in the jam so far. Without spending a lot of words, Wraith also manages to establish a striking mood and paint fairly believably character portraits. The biggest writing adjustment I'd make is keeping the lines a little shorter on average; some are long enough that they don't fit in the UI, and in general, I think visual novels read a little smoother with tight sentences that really drive you forward to the next text block.

Presentation-wise, the game is pretty plain. How the sprite is positioned unfortunately looks somewhat goofy, and the unedited backgrounds – many of which don't necessarily look like they belong together – don't really help avoid the impression that you're looking at a bunch of stock photos. The credits sequence is a nice bit of visual flair, but I would have liked seeing more of that in the actual story, too.

(As for the jam's theme: ??? maybe i'm just bad at reading but i didn't really notice anything that felt relevant)

Spoilers.

Theme: I don't know if i saw it.

Story: Well done. This feels like it could be a proper short story, ready for submission to a magazine with some additional tinkering and adjustments. I think we don't have enough time for the ending to pay off-- either we need  to get to the relationship quicker, or we need more time regarding the relationship to make the "love" resonate further.

Still, I felt like this had some tight prose, and you understood the overall pacing and scope needed for a work this short, which I very much appreciated as someone that writes a lot of flash fiction (shout out to apex who still hasn't let me win a month yet :P)

Presentation: The song you chose fit the mood, but you went a bit spartan overall. It fit the needs, but you had like "hovering sprite" syndrome. I also don't know if I got "bunker" from that stairwell and other elements, barring like rich person bunker AND/OR Life is Strange murder pit (the dark room.)

Creativity:  I appreciate your tale, a quick poignant exploration of being haunted and death.

Overall thoughts: Great attempt, although my only caveat is I don't know if it fully cared about the form of the medium, even if your prose was doing great work for me in the brief window of time.

An intriguing premise that is on the bare bones side.

The writing is decent, but I wish the relationship between the characters was explored more to give the climax the emotional weight it was going for. It would also have provided a chance to weave the theme into the narrative.