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(2 edits)

Spoilers:

Theme:  Other than a big bet size or like... schmooving from being in debt to being open to other options, I'm not seeing it.

Story: While the story is incomplete, I still love me a gambling narrative. As soon as I saw the Biturong was a black suit, that made me think that the rat was gonna be a traitor, so in that regard I wonder if you're perhaps being a bit too overt with the symbolism (he's also the only one that isn't a face card (or better/more flexible (aka Remy)). But that might just be me being more attuned those with my recent Balatro runs :p

I feel like the overt cheating was maybe too soon, but I suppose where one only has "four lives" they have to act soon to reveal it, especially if one can't truly trust their partner in crime.

I guess it's a bit curious how Remy even found either of the two, even if the metric was "look for down on your luck people" how the fuck are you gonna regularly meet those? Trawling the streets? I feel like the usual narrative arc is someone in the gambling games already drags someone down further (which the rat ostensibly does, but if he was to be asked, that comes off as an off-screen activity as opposed to a plea to join) or the desperate goes to the loan shark who points them to something far more predatory (a hard element to escalate past).

It makes sense that the debt collector would point, but not quite so that Remy and Vincent picked the right person (other than narrative convenience)-- were they just prepared to have a pizza party and keep looking if they were wrong, or just ostensibly move on a two-man team (leaving Remy to be in a 1v1v2 with the stranger).

I didn't love the "I was kicked out for being gay" dialogue (as in not a monologue), especially as Jack shows he's not the naive trusting sort like the Nao.Liar Game archetype. He cottons onto the cheating, which makes his open disclosure a bit closer to the patsy archetype, barring his catching of the collusions between the other two (albeit, there's not too many of them to pin the blame on, narratively). Remy's also a bit too trusting of Jack and Vince for someone that's already played before, even if he's trying to be a collaborative cheater.

Narratively, based on your card assigning, I predict Remy would be the final winner again. (High card Ace beats King, Queen and Jack (and obviously four)), and there's not of one suit nor dupe cards to make a proper flush or other hand either.

I think the major issue is this ends too early into the game at this point, while having identified the cheating already.

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Story aside: How dare you. How dare you be a mahjong hater. Rude. Jail.

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Presentation: The game isn't too mechanically dense, although it's one of those things where I wonder if it would help a smidgen to just see it further than the diagram (the stacking) to make it clearer for the player. I like how all the marked players have their suits over their heads as well in their name cards, although I find it curious that the Lion gets a crown instead of a repeated suit. You've introduced a fifth suit (and if there were one of those, I'd say those are ostensibly jokers, not a face card), so that was a strange implementation.

Using the otter sprite felt a bit jarring given all the custom ones you used--it may have been enough to not have anyone on screen, especially as I don't expect they'll come back given the lack of suit upon their head. Having them have a sprite gives them more importance, which kind of washes out if they never appear again.

I do appreciate your custom sprites, they're nice looking! Good gambling manga vibes.

Very nitpicky, but I found the cicadas a bit out of place, in that the first distillery image seemed very industrial area (meaning not many trees that they live in) although it made sense in the latter image.

Creativity: I do enjoy my fair share of gambling mangas (Liar Game, Usogui, other ones that I still read even though they were trashy) so this was a treat. Not what I ever expected to see in this space any time soon either, so that was a real joy.

Overall thoughts: Let's go gambling! Aww dangit! Awww dangit! Aww dangit!

I'd be excited to see this continue (and maybe have the pre-gambling game  tinkered a bit with? But that's just me?)