The story is pretty strong and a very good idea for a short, yet sweet visual novel!
Sometimes, the tone can change from being serious to being very informal and joking in a matter of seconds, and I think that hurts the pacing and mood a bit. The seemingly-random curse words thrown in to sentences threw me off a bit, and some probably-lost-in-translation idioms made the tone of the story a little iffy as well. The Hispanic/Spanish influences were nice to see though, as a latino myself! And the CG's were beautiful, props to the artist!
Overall, I think it's a pretty cute story! I wish it could've taken itself more seriously at times, and maybe an editor or proofreader could've elevated this to being very great! As it stands though, it's still a good read and you should be proud of yourself! ❤