i dont wanna burst your conspiracy bubble, but 10.27 is just the date WIFL released, October of last year :3 i love seeing these analysis tho, theyre so cool~
tysm! Darling Dance is by Kairiki Bear, not Ado! Seems like Ado is a cover artist, just wanted to clarify, since vocaloid producers tend to lose the spotlight sometimes qwq glad you liked it tho! 🤍
thank you for such a sweet, long review, im so glad youre enjoying the story so far :3 I’m the only author, artist and songwriter for the VN, although the music is made by various other talented musicians! I’m really happy that my words were able to connect with you, it seriously means the absolute world to me!
I honestly don't have too much to say about this entry. It was very unfinished, and the writing has a "cut-and-dry" aspect to it that doesn't make it very fun to read, unfortunately. That being said, I think what is properly implemented and coded in is nice to look at, and the premise has a lot of potential to be interesting. Well done and congrats on the entry.
I think the writing is very solid in this entry, and the presentation is pretty well done! I unfortunately am not a huge fan of the "Attack on Titan fanfiction" plot, but that's just me, on a personal level. I think it's a pretty good starter for a project, and a well written attention-grabbing first chapter. Well done!
The um... vore... is an interesting premise for a murder mystery, and I honestly didn't see the twist coming. It was well done, in that aspect at least! It had a very satirical tone to it, and doesn't try to take itself too seriously, which is definitely a good thing all things considered. Good job and congrats on the entry :]
I seriously love the presentation of this VN, the standout moment for me was seeing the reflection of Asher's face on the blank, shaking phone. So cool!!
The writing is also really solid, and the characters are likeable throughout the read. The ending (at least the bad one that I read) does seem to come a little out of nowhere, and with no real explanation as to... what the hell is going on qwq but I don't think that's such a bad thing. Overall, an enjoyable read, especially impressive for a debut. Congrats!! <3
I love love love the presentation, you really pushed renpy to limits I could only dream of doing. The characters are cute, and the premise is solid. I kind of wish there was a bit more... romantic tension between our love interests? They just seem to act as good friends throughout the story, and I was half expecting it to be a coming out tale for Aubrie with how their character is written. Regardless, very cute and very well made, congrats! <3
The last one I read of your trilogy, I won't beat a dead horse with mentioning narration, but it was definitely... a wild ride! Very silly and strange, and I'm sorry if that's not what you were going for, but it was pretty funny (*=w=) The music was also very... club-like? And I had a little giggle with that too :3c
This falls more into a 'dating sim', which is cute in it's own right. The characters were fun to talk to, and it was a simple, easy to read premise. Not much to say on this one, so good job and congrats <3
My Municipality is definitely incredibly well done, from the presentation to the research, you can tell a lot of care and effort went into making this project. However, on a completely personal level, I can't say I really enjoyed it. I'm not one for non-fiction history and personifying places as people, and it kind of felt like one big social studies lesson disguised as a furry visual novel.
But again, this isn't to say it's bad by any means; quite the opposite, I think it's great for what it aims to do (telling a history lesson through a personified lens). Unfortunately, it's just not my cup of tea, but I'm probably not the target audience for stories like this. Regardless, great job, and congratulations on a very well made VN.
We had similar viewpoints when it came to each other's entries it seems; I'm not a big fan of alien stories or 3rd person perspectives. And yet, this VN turned out to be one of my favorites.
The writing, despite the perspective, is phenomenal. Maybe it can get overly descriptive, but I don't see that as a problem at all, if you know how to write in a captivating way (and in your case, you definitely do!). The characters all had distinct voices and personalities, with emotions and goals and backstories that, if only implied, still seep into every word they say to each other.
This may have killed my vocal chords, since I read 90% of it out loud on stream and it was quite the long read, but it was enjoyable from start to finish, with a presentation so polished and professional, I almost can't believe you really did this all in one month.
My only gripe is how o u r p l e everything is, and it doesn't seem to serve for anything other than aesthetics, but that's really minor and I can easily overlook. It's my favorite color anyways!
All in all, I'm blown away. It's a crime this entry isn't getting the attention it deserves. Congrats on a truly incredible piece of art Kraaj ♡
Thanks for the feedback and kind words :3c I definitely made this one very tropey on purpose. I, too, am a lover of vulnerability and raw writing, but decided to be silly this time around (o3o) Regardless, I'm glad you're impressed by my work! ♡
The writing in this entry is phenomenal, the art and presentation is great, and the story is short but sweet. It's clear to see why this one is as popular as it is, and (although this might feel weird coming from me) I think this novel absolutely has the potential to be the winner.
Time constraints are apparent, I wish we could've seen WHY the main characters fall for each other in the first place, or maybe a couple of more scenes with them together. Not that it feels undeserving -through the writing alone, you can tell these characters care a lot about each other-but it would've been nice to see some real moments of intimacy between them.
Overall though, an incredible piece of art by the whole team. Congrats to everyone on board, and I'd absolutely love to see more projects like this from you guys ♡
I was pretty confused throughout the entire playthrough, and Zest's dialogue made my eyes water sometimes, but in terms of presentation I think it's incredibly solid, and moments of competent writing seem to poke out every now and then. As a comedy, I think it does it's job well. Congrats! ♡
This story was incredibly adorable!! It's super well written, the team did a great job with the artwork and backgrounds (I loved the small touches of detail with the balloons and chalk drawings being added), and the pacing was done really well, too! Definitely my favorite one so far, though I have a lot more to get through, I really enjoyed reading through this one. Congrats to everyone on this team, I really loved it! ♡♡♡
So kind, thank you! I sort of made the end a bit inconclusive on purpose, in case I ever want to re-open that curtain haha, but I understand that critique! Kirari really did shred some fresh MOTHERella on a SLAYizza and served it in a warm CUNTainer
Thanks for the review! I kinda regret not seperating the bonus chapter from the original ending now qwq and the ending is supposed to be a bit on the "One-shot manga that could possibly go on if it wanted to" sort of vibe, but I understand your critcisms and appreciate the feedback ♡
The presentation is cute, and the writing itself is really well done! My only problem is, as others have pointed out, how confusing it is. We as readers have no idea what the 'Hour' is, what the monster is, why it's a threat or a bad thing, etc. It is a side story VN, so that may be it, but it's not very memorable as a stand alone story. There's really nothing to root for, nothing to look forward to other than the promise of the wolf guy. and the interaction is cut pretty short. Still. it's a cute entry, good job regardless and good luck on the Jam and all your other projects ♡
There's a lot of good in this story, so I'll start with that. The team did a good job of creating backgrounds, CGs and sprites, and the ambience/mood of the story stays persistent throughout the whole novel. A lot of work went into making this VN look and feel the way it does, and I can appreciate that!
However, I do have a few problems with it. Aside from the technical issues of having no music and lines of dialogue being confused by who's saying what, there were also a lot of moments where the background or character don't change despite what's going on narratively. There's a long moment where we're still in the jazz club visually, even though narratively we're walking in the streets with Colton (and there IS a street background...). This happens again in the chase scene, we're stuck in the bedroom for a while until it cuts away.
As for writing, I found it a bit tiring to read one single line of text for things that could have been put together instead. The style of writing is very direct and 'cut and dry', in my opinion, and it gives the unfortunate feeling of scenes dragging on for longer than they should. I especially felt this for the sex scene. It goes on for... a while...
Lastly, I think the dialogue between characters could use some work. This may be harsh, but Colton feels like he was written by a bottom: horny, rough, and dominant. The exchanges between these characters feel very cliche and almost fan-fic-like (especially the antagonist...).
That being said, the ending definitely elevated this story a lot, I enjoyed the action sequence and it made me want to know what happens next for these characters. Props to the team, and I hope this criticism is taken with an open mind.
The concept of this story is phenomenal for a short, quick VN. I find it kind of funny that it came to you in a dream, sometimes eureka moments come to you in the strangest places!
However, as for execution, my biggest gripe with this story is a total lack of narration. There's not a single line where someone isn't talking, and I think this hurts the story as it tries to go for the more emotional beats. A moment to just simmer down and bask in the tragedy of a situation, or really analyze what's going on in this video store, could've seriously helped elevate the tone and mood of the writing. A lot of moments where it's just exposition feels rather awkward, since it's just our MC going on a long winded rant out loud, and I think it could have benefitted from these moments being thought rather than spoken.
It's a very cute story despite this flaw, and I'm again impressed you could do it in such a short amount of time. Congrats! ♡
I hadn't read the description on the itch page before playing this VN, so I was pretty confused throughout most of my playthrough... however, this in no way makes it any less enjoyable! The writing between these two characters is incredibly solid, the feeling of it being a therapy session always persists, and the changing backgrounds to show a change in thought process is a subtle, yet very nice touch. This has been one of the standout VNs for me in the Jam, and I would love to see more full-fledged work by this team. Congrats on a great VN! ♡
I haven't read PRESSED, so my opinions may not be completely validating here, but I'd like to give my two cents on this story as a stand alone VN, and I hope I don't come across as too harsh.
Personally, I struggled to really follow every single thing the father was saying to us (as the MC) throughout his very long monologue, but that's something that can be passed as being based on real-life old people rambling on, hah. However, I also struggled to really empathize with him; it sort of felt like you were thinking "How can I make him as dirt poor as possible?" and came up with his backstory. It all just felt like a bit too much, almost comically tragic.
Lastly, as some have also pointed out, the ending is out of left field with a very unnecessary sort-of sex scene. I think if you wanted to make a soulful, mellow story, you should've stuck to your guns and kept it like that til the end!
All this being said, I'm still very impressed on how quickly you were able to work on this VN, and your writing is very solid. I think a healthy balance between monologue, dialouge and narration would really help boost it to being very good! Congrats and good job :]
Short and sweet, I think this VN accomplishes what it wants to do with the time it has :]
I don't really have much to nitpick here, it's very direct in it's presentation and everything flows together pretty seemlessly. Congrats! A solid entry in the Jam, you should be very proud! ♡
A phenomenal implementation of the theme and a very cute love story! The amount of art and attention to detail in the VN is also impressive, great job!
If I had to beat you up just a little, I'd say maybe this story could've benefitted from an editor/proofreader, as it's pretty clear from your writing that you're not a native english speaker, but it's understandable for the time frame and such.
Overall I think the pacing is well done, and it's incredibly cute! A great entry, you should be proud! ♡
An interesting read to say the least, Blazing Passion definitely succeeded in making an unexpectedly dark story.
I think, at least in my opinion, this story could have benefitted from a bit more time in the oven. The entire first half doesn't serve any purpose other than introducing us to Arthur, and some characters narratively can be completely taken out of the story and it doesn't affect it at all. The presentation could have also used a little bit of polish, it does kind of give off the vibe of "choosing the first picture that shows up when I google 'outside park'".
Despite this, it's a very engaging read, and I was definitely on the edge of my seat the whole time! Props to the team for this one :]
The story is pretty strong and a very good idea for a short, yet sweet visual novel!
Sometimes, the tone can change from being serious to being very informal and joking in a matter of seconds, and I think that hurts the pacing and mood a bit. The seemingly-random curse words thrown in to sentences threw me off a bit, and some probably-lost-in-translation idioms made the tone of the story a little iffy as well. The Hispanic/Spanish influences were nice to see though, as a latino myself! And the CG's were beautiful, props to the artist!
Overall, I think it's a pretty cute story! I wish it could've taken itself more seriously at times, and maybe an editor or proofreader could've elevated this to being very great! As it stands though, it's still a good read and you should be proud of yourself! ❤
Thank you for your feedback, I agree on a lot of things, I definitely aimed to be very tropey with this VN, but I'm glad you think I did an okay job! Will read your entry soon as well! ❤
Thank you so much! I'm a little embarrassed to hear that Bowser has been spreading a good word of my VN to others, but very happy all the same :3 I'm really glad you enjoyed it! And I'll be sure to give your VN a reading soon as well! ❤
