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(+1)

Spoilers:

Theme: Not quite present.

Story: I'm not sure how I feel. A lot feels very expository in this setup, amongst some punchy lines. I don't know how much I buy into the necessity of the pup play (even with the symbolic parallels in your using it as a foil for being a werewolf as a sort of presentation performativity/identification of the 'true self'). It feels more comical than anything else, which is a curious clash against the tone of the work for me. Like it feels meant to be commentary on how we are perceived/want to be perceived, but in the same breath Nino is barking out endless daddies and is driving the relationship (more like father son play than pup play, i guess? which is even funnier with the lampshaded age difference) and that makes it difficult for me to take him serious when he says anything at all (but in all fairness, others may not have the same issue).

We also end before we get anywhere, with just a lot of build-up, layers upon layers of worldbuilding and we come out with like 5 key items( and maybe a shared sub item):

1. Our protagonist hates being a werewolf.
1a/2a. He fears dying young due to being a werewolf, and not living a proper life due to being a werewolf.

2. Werewolves die young.

3. There's a secret supernatural world.

4. Our protag hates his brother and will do anything to get to him.

5. His brother's left a trail along the way, his past discarded in more ways than one.

I guess I'm unsure of whether our protagonist is even meaningfully upset his parents died? He seems more in awe at their untimely expiration and that their lives were so short, glossing over their deaths with the Kitsune (who was also a fae? that's a curious arrangement, not quite what traditional fae are like, especially when you were borrowing from other japanese folklore with the nezumi).  He didn't quite seem angry at them either for obscuring being mostly(?) natural-born werewolves, or at least, obscuring what was going on with the brother, or favoring the brother, but rather just being jealous of Ugo, which isn't an impossible metric, but it makes me wonder more who our protagonist is that he seems indifferent (or at least, ambivalent?) all the same in spite of his heated feelings for his brother.

Presentation: You've found some top notch assets and arranged (and edited) them masterfully. I know how hard it is to find assets, and you scouted furiously, it seems, to find items that really fit your mood, and it does pay off. Even the font is great, and that's ANOTHER thing that takes endless effort to find a suitable one.

Even the little bursts of  "CGs", the quick flashes of drawma, show great scripting.

Creativity: Urban fantasy + revenge. Time tested classics.

Overall thoughts: Given that this is so much of a build-up to a story rather than a story itself, I'm kinda left wanting. Your presentation is fantastic, but the narrative as it stands so far is a promise, and a promise alone requires a lot to really push ahead. 

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Siebar: The short story I think of off the top of my head as a comparison that functions as a sort of promise (that was built into a full novel) doesn't appear to have any online copy to point to lol. (For context, it's Ava Wrestles the Alligator, which then got built out into its own work as Swamplandia--god, I wish I spill stories like her.)

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Like what it stands for  shows promise, but as it currently is, it's an incomplete story, one that I have trouble staying within. I felt like I learned more about what the protagonist didn't know, then about the protagonist when we had so many things to react to. A sort of outline of what he wasn't, and while in a way that defines him, the image I got wasn't clear enough to fill in the space. Maybe even more  so bout the brother than himself, which is another curious way to define him.

It's very much a queer story (the incurable disease (reminiscent of the HIV crisis), the rejection of the self, the untimely demise, the literal kink community within) and yet we also have other supernatural beings that don't seem to have the same limitations, which kind of pulls it away from that othering (to me). They exist in the same space-- it's the supernatural community, not the werewolf community. Do they have their own health limitations? The rabbit seems to live freely, as does the kitsune and bartender.  The werewolves have an actual built in-limitation (of which the kitsune seems to suggest that trying to seal away things isn't the answer, and yet that feels like sort of the xmen third movie paradigm of "Woman with really awesome powers says there's nothing wrong with being a mutant" whereas "woman who can kill everyone she loves in a touch and never know their embrace wishes to be "normal", if that makes any sense.

A message can be true, but the preponderance of evidence suggests the full moon, eg. a full embrace, would lead to a lack of sanity, and that it's right to not try and embrace the othering state. And then I'm back to kinda of wondering where this extended metaphor stands, and what the incompleteness obscures that perhaps the full narrative would be able to capture.

And while what may come would likely be enjoyable if crafted with the same care, what's currently present isn't the same as what it promises to become.