Post by DerRaptor64 in Ninisanni Scenario 2: The Harem End comments

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So I just completed the game (Including every single thing on the to-do list) and before I start with the full review I promised, I'd like to thank Esbi for the full Guide, as it would've probably taken me a lot of more time to find everything, without it.

To start off with the non-spoiler part, I'd like to say, that everything that was first game is either just as good or even better!
The Character movements were very dynamic for sprites and helped envisioning what is supposed to be happening, which helps at least me focus more on the game, as opposed to having a single sprite in the middle with almost no movement.
The music was also very nicely chosen (I will go deeper into that later).
The writing was also very good, always being on topic and being able to convey what they should convey at the moment.
The Humor was in my humble opinion very on point. So much so, that I audibly laughed regularly throughout the game.
I'd also like to briefly say how great this game was in expanding character depth for not only the cast but also the Protagonist. It was nice to see each of characters homes a bit and that the protagonist was more of an actual character than more of a self insert. (I'm not saying he was just a self insert in the first game, he already a distinct personality, but this game really solidified him and his beliefs.)

And this is it for the non-spoiler part. The Spoiler part will probably be bigger (I'm writing whatever pops into my head, so I have currently no idea) because there is just so much I want to talk about! Consider not reading this part, if you didn't go through every scene at least once.

I want to start this off by saying just how much more serious this game was in comparison to the first game. I went into this expecting a happy-go-lucky harem adventure and got hit with the reality, that harems realistically don't work. To be fair, my first run consited of having Petra Aquarium scene, into Reimu Fetish play into Festival ending back to back to back, which all could get really serious. But it really is impressive how this game manages to balance sillyness and seriousness so nicely!

To also circle back to the music, the end of summer (where you leave the mall) REALLY utilized the music, making me feel... something I can't quite point my finger on. But it wasn't just the first time. I had this feeling on all consqutive runs too. And it somehow really fits, how you have to manually leave the mall.
And speaking of endings, I unironically started tearing up during the Lazulight ending. I don't know why, but hearing the Main Menu theme of the first game while at the campfire, Elira telling me how she'll never forget me, and promising to talk to me every day made really, really emotional. And seeing, that I got emotional over Elira in the first game too, Elira will be the one who will truly stay with the Protagonist. I know he said, he was sure, Elira wouldn't remember him, but I'm hopeful.

I'd also like to mention again just how good the humor is. I don't know why, but the "webp" joke is still incredibly funny to me. Not mentioning how incredibly weird the Rosechu ending (is it supposed to be cannon?) was... was Rosechu an intentional Chris Chan reference? I saw the other reference, which is why I'm uncertain.

It is also incredible how branching this game was. It was cool, how you could have completely different results in a scene by making a single choice.

The new Characters were great too! While some got the shorter end of the stick, as you already mentioned, those who did get more attention fitted really well with everything and I even think that Zaion should now be considered part of the main cast.

Now, on to the part where I will critizise a bit:
I really liked how you had an ending for every character in the first game. Although the sequel captured the essence of summer in pretty much every ending, I liked the approach of the first game a bit more.
Adding to that, sex was more laid out throughout the game, and you had none in the endings, which is pretty much a 180. This in itself isnt the part I want to critisize, rather in this game the scenes felt somehow weaker (except Tiger and Crazy Slut. That one went hard). I can't really explain how, I can only say that some ended more apruptly while others ruined the mood sometimes.
A little nitpick, but why is the currency so inconsitent? In some scenes it's yen (Selen Claire's scene) while the Protagonist earns and spends Dollars.
Throughout the first run, time felt weird. Some scenes didn't make sense, if you thought an ingame day was really only a single day, which is why I also first thought that the ending was aprupt. It got better on consequtive runs though.
Speaking of first run, the mall felt really big in the first run, and I only got a feel for it somewhere during my second run. Although the feature is great, i would have appreciated something like a map or something similar to help the player orientate themselves.
Don't be discouraged by this, in comparison, big list, as it may be a lot written, but the good far outweighed the bad.

As a final verdict I'll give this game a Deinonychus/Velociraptor on the URRS (Universal Raptor Rating Scale) and I can confidently say that, although the "Wow, this game isn't as trashy as I thought" effect was gone, it was altogether a worthy, and most probably better successor to the first game!

PS. I'm pretty sure I forgot some of the points I wanted to list, so maybe I'll follow up on this comment, when I remember again.

Also, here are more typos I found! I probably missed a few, but I think I found a lot at least!

Pomu discovery event "Orrrrr~... I can remove the enchantments put on the two of you." doesn't have Scarle as "Speaker".

Finana fetish play "Yeah, so I went you in and pulled you up. [...]" should be "Yeah, so I went in pulled you up. [...]"

Finana Kindergarten "You just seem so... in your element. Is it better the gacha gaming at home?" should be "[...] Is it better than Gacha gaming at home?"

Elira Computer fixing scene "I don't go on the computer much, but I can ask sis to look at it for you. I always ask her about techie stuff" isn't in cursive, although the other messenger texts are.

Elira computer fixing scene "Whatsay we design we design it together" I think the "Whatsay" is missing a space, but I'm not sure, but the "we design" should only be there once.

Monday Afternoon Quartet scene "Go pick and some underwear and [...]" should be "Go pick some underwear and [...]"

Monday Maria scene "I'm didn't put it up my butt [...]" should be "I didn't put it up my butt [...]" and "[...] I keeping my butt virginal [...]" should be "[...] I'm keeping my butt virginity [...]"

Maria Tuesday Scene "[...] Respect fully, she hold her axe down [...]" should be "[...] Respectfully, she holds her axe down [...]"

Maria Wednesday Afternoon "Nobody asked you too!" should be "Nobody asked you to!"

Friday Afternoon Zaion Backroom scene "Okay. I gonna do it! [...]" should be "Okay. I'm gonna do it! [...]"

Friday Afternoon Zaion Backroom scene "Ms. Lanza puts her chin on oher propped up arm." should be "Ms. Lanza puts her chin on her propped up arm."

Elira Fetish play "You're say you're less? [...]" should be "You say you're less? [...]"

dullachan149 days ago(+2)

Typos fixed, thanks for the reports. And thanks for playing it all the way through!

is either just as good or even better!

That's awesome to hear! I'm getting better all the time~

The Character movements were very dynamic for sprites and helped envisioning what is supposed to be happening,

Yeah, adding animation takes a lot of work, but the end result looks so much better, doesn't it?

So much so, that I audibly laughed regularly throughout the game.

The highest compliment! I was pretty confident in my jokes this time around, I was still laughing at scenes like uHauntedHouse or gComiket on the sixth edit around.

that the protagonist was more of an actual character than more of a self insert

There's a well-respected theory in the writing world that the protagonist should always be the most interesting character.
However, the visual novel medium tends to have a culture of making their protagonists beta wallflowers to better self-insert. But I never understood that, because how can I self-insert has a beta male? I'm not a beta male, I'm a gymmaxxed romancepilled gigachad capricorn with sigma-omega interpolar characteristics. That's the kind of person I would prefer to self-insert into, so IT'S who I made the MC. I think a lot of other people feel this way too.

Ah, all that said, I didn't really make any strides to make him a self-insert. I just had him be him, y'know? In comparison to NNSN1 there was an effort made to distinguish him a little more this time around. Before he was kind of a horndog. The plot was so short, and I wanted him to hit on a lot of women in a limited timeframe, so it was inevitable. But in NNSN2, he has time to chill and hang out with the girls, giving him more time to demonstrate other aspects of his personality and develop as a character.

As for the girls, nearly all of them go through some character developments too, which I feel broadens them out a bit as characters, and gives more space to create interesting emotional and romantic scenes.

*SPOILERISHY TALK BELOW*

To be fair, my first run consited of having Petra Aquarium scene, into Reimu Fetish play into Festival ending back to back to back, which all could get really serious.

To be doubly fair, you knew what you were getting into when you chose those scenes. "I miss Pomu..." "Reimu's fetish is a bit depressing" and "Hang out with the loner girls." have a bit of a foreboding edge to them, don't they?

But that's the fun of having so many options, right? You can go for different tones of scenes based on your mood. Who knows, maybe subconsciously you were drawn to them? ;)

But it really is impressive how this game manages to balance sillyness and seriousness so nicely!

It's good to know I hit a balance.
I always saw the first game as Lazulight in tone, just a really happy and positive tone. Since this was the second game, I wanted it themed more Obsydia theme, darker and edgier. But I didn't want to make it TOO edgy, to the point that people who enjoyed the first game wouldn't enjoy the second. I cut scenes, toned others down. I think the jokes did a lot of work in smoothing the too serious bits over.

*DEFINITE SPOILERS BELOW*

To also circle back to the music, the end of summer (where you leave the mall) REALLY utilized the music, making me feel... something I can't quite point my finger on

I think it just hits on a lot of themes in the story. Loss of sanctuary, people and places changing, temporary endings, the foreboding feeling that your friends will leave some day.
I think a lot of work is done by the music too, like you mentioned. Black Marble is my favorite band, and that song is a slowed reverb version of a song on an album I like. That album's my favorite, because every song sounds like the ending soundtrack to a movie.

I listen to a lot of vaporwave and those reverb edits, I play a lot of those liminal space games set in empty malls and cities you find on itch.io. But I always thought there was something missing from them. I think it's context. In the game's timeline, you spent a summer there with your friends hanging out. And now that the summer is over, the mall is empty, and you need to move on. It's like SYMBOLISM~ Whoah~!
You can always slum around the mall with your friends next summer, but one day, the mall is going to close. You're going to grow up, grow out of being a mallrat.

And speaking of endings, I unironically started tearing up during the Lazulight ending. I don't know why

I got pretty emotional on the final edit for that scene too. Not sure why. I did save it for last though, maybe it was the culmination of the entire project being finished.

The leitmotif of the first game's main menu theme does strike a chord emotionally. I think there are other reasons too why the scene is so impactful.
For one, it's the first time in the series that all of Lazulight is together. And it's an ending scene (lol).
Secondly, the scene has no choices in it, as opposed to the other ends. So while you might play the Ethyria ending three or four times, and the Obsydia ending three times, you'll only ever see the Lazulight ending once. Makes it sort of special, you know?
I also think what really hurts about the scene is that it's so darn hopeful. Rizzotto-P is going to be a superstar, Finana is going back to school, Pomurin and Elira are going to take a trip to Antarctica, Elira will remember you. Nobody knows if these things are going to happen. So you could either see it as empty promises or hope for the future.

was Rosechu an intentional Chris Chan reference?

No comment.

This in itself isnt the part I want to critisize, rather in this game the scenes felt somehow weaker (except Tiger and Crazy Slut. That one went hard). I can't really explain how, I can only say that some ended more apruptly while others ruined the mood sometimes.

Mm, I can see that. I tried to make it more balanced across the entire VN, while also not forcing people to sit through a sex scene when they're not in the mood. But I also think I was a bit too caught up in trying to set the mood/scenario of a sex scene to make it interesting (even if you weren't in the mood). It makes the writing a little cowardly. I should also been making sure the sex scenes had better pacing (maybe a bit longer) and sensational descriptions, rather than tiptoeing around it.

It doesn't help that sex scenes are a pain to script lol.

Thank you for the critique, I'll keep it in mind.

Rosechu ending (is it supposed to be cannon?)

Yup. Well, maybe. Probably. I like Pomu, but I also like Pomurin. And I like Rosechu too. I want them all the be canon, but it seems like some are mutually exclusive. So tricky!
See, this is why I love visual novels. I can put choice structures in whenever I don't feel like committing to a plot point.

A little nitpick, but why is the currency so inconsitent? In some scenes it's yen (Selen Claire's scene) while the Protagonist earns and spends Dollars.

I decided pretty early on into the first game to make currency wildly inconsistent. I think it's funnier that way.

Some scenes didn't make sense, if you thought an ingame day was really only a single day, which is why I also first thought that the ending was aprupt

Yeah, a couple scenes that mention 'the next day' were made pretty early on. I forgot to take them out. All scenes are supposed to be disjointed from the others. I was thinking about making a transition slide to make things a little less jumpy, but I never got around to it.

I also accept full culpability for making the timescale specific days. It was just easier to understand when I was scripting it and moving things around.