itch.io

>I cut a lot of corners in the art and the visuals, grudgingly saying "this looks bad but it's the best I have without dumping ten thousand dollars into this" a whole lot

As long as it's something you're keeping it in mind, I'd say you're good fam. Let me say it clearly too, I think everybody who enjoyed your work is happy you released it regardless (this includes me). A VN with some minor flaws is 100% better than no VN, or a VN that spends forever in development hell.

I actually have a lot of respect for people who work with what they've got and actually release it fully, rather than seek perfection on every work, you know?

>I have more money at my disposal to throw at the project

Before that, I might look toward ways you can make the VN more visually appealing without the use of money. The little things, like UI, or if a character fits into the background. Tsukihime, Higurashi, and Katawa Shoujo all used photo filter backgrounds when they were doujin works like yours, and they became breakout successes despite the industry having visually beautiful, heavy CG works for a time before them. It's possible, but tricky, and requires some creativity, I suppose.

>when I decided it might be interesting to go and visit them. Then Kate's presence in the game kind of grew like a metastasizing tumor.

Hey, sometimes that's the way the writing takes you. It made for a good plot which is why I hesitate to criticize it. But just a tad more attention diverted to the heroine might have been good. Ideally, you'd have both the ranger and cool scenes for Cynthia, but that requires more work in all aspects and this VN is already at a good length.

Also, I may have been wrong here. Looking at the store page now, there's no overwhelming impression that this VN is for Cynthia only. It seems to be be a more general than that. So my B.

>I have no idea what you mean by the suspension bridge effect.

Ah, it's a writing tactic/dating advice based on the concept that a couple undergoing a dangerous trial (such as crossing a rickety bridge together) will grow stronger and trust each other more.

One more thing. I'd be surprised if this was your first visual novel work. If so, it's really impressive. Even if it's your second or third, there's a lot you've done that surpass expectations. Pacing and length of the story, the characters are sprightly, choice structure is solid and useful, achievement system with integrated New Game+ mechanics... It all clearly has a lot of effort and balancing put into it. There's talent there, you know?

A game I very much enjoyed. I'm going to give critiques, because they may be of use to you, but don't take them too personally.

Writing - The writing is solid. Very relaxing dialogue that makes you smile. I appreciate the casual flirtation between the MC and Cynthia, it suits Cynthia's character.  I think there were one or two jokes that I laughed aloud at.

I like theme of having the nature of Pokemon human-relationships contrasted by the player and the Kate. Amphy adds to this, with it being unprotected because it's not "owned" by Jasmine. As well as the haunted house Pokemon's backstory (trying to stay vague here to not spoil).
The Houndoom fight conclusion was very cool and the haunted factory part was great. Both were tense and made you think afterward. 

Notably, the events of the game seem to have rather clever problemsolving, which belies writing talent.
I liked the plot, I liked the mystery, I liked the end of the game.

If there's one thing I can give advice on writingwise, it's premise. The game advertises itself with Cynthia. The only problem is, the coolest scenes in the game were the Kate part hunting for Houndoors, and the investigation of the haunted mill with Jasmine. See the problem? No Cynthia!
Now I hardly minded it because the scenes themself were excellent, but I think they would have done well to further develop the connection between the player and Cynthia, via the suspension bridge effect.
Um, this critique isn't urgent at all and may seem trivial, but I think works that revolve around fansa for a character should dump as much fansa as possible in the work, rather than getting distracted with side characters. This is up to you though, as I'd be remiss to say the side characters didn't have weight.

Art - The art direction is very inconsistent. You mix flat pokemon graphics with photo backgrounds and pixellated labels on the imagemaps. I'd recommend looking into consistency across the board in all these, because having a recognizable and pleasant style will draw more people in. Unfortunately, it's understandably difficult, either requiring a budget or a BG slave. But it will propel your game from looking like a Renpy test demo project to it's own visual novel with its own style.
I do think the sprites look very clean and attractive, and the photo backgrounds are also very pretty but the problem for me is they just... don't fit together.

Music - Pretty decent. I hardly noticed it.

UI - Generic Renpy UI is anathema on the eyes for people who have played a lot of Renpy games. If you're looking to make VNs in the future, I recommend updating the menus to literally anything else. Aside from that, the menus in the achievements and the background are fine.
I happened to think the pixelated black and white Pokemonesque labels in the imagemap look nice, and wondered what the game would look like if the textbox used that style.
But they contrast with the menus and the quickmenu, and the time counter, and the photo background. Needs to be less glaring contrast. Perhaps play with filters?
That said, I do see you using filters to make characters darker in darker scenes. I like that you do that, it's the little things that make it more atmospheric.

BGs - Aside from my complaints earlier about consistency, the BG choices are very good. They're consistent with each other and my vision of the town. I... may have used a couple of the same ones lol.

Transitions - It's alright. I like that you have the concierge behind hotel desk, it works well. But when he flips sprites, it happens a bit too quick. For this I recommend a dissolve transition to go along with your xzoom -1. You do this sometimes, but it's not consistent.
Additionally, wouldn't the pixellate dissolve for scene transitions work well for the Pokemon theming? Eh, it's up to you though.

Sizing - Weirdly noticeable. Everything is at several paces away. You change it up a little bit, but there's a lot of focus on keeping everything centered for some reason. There are points where you I wouldn't mind some scenes having characters get up close and personal, or start farther away. 

For instance, in the scenes where you're sitting in a cafe or bar with Cynthia, it's still a standing sprite overlapping the table. If you were to zoom into the BG and Cynthia at shoulder level, it could have the appearance of her sitting on the couch without having to show the legs. Am I making sense? I feel like I'm not making sense.
This comes with its own downsides though, like not being to see the full BG. There's never a perfect solution.

Once again, I'd like to compliment your visual novel, and tell you not to take my critiques so seriously. I was been feeling melancholy this week, and this VN cheered me right up. Here's to your future projects! I can't wait to see them :)

Typos fixed, thanks for the reports. And thanks for playing it all the way through!

is either just as good or even better!

That's awesome to hear! I'm getting better all the time~

The Character movements were very dynamic for sprites and helped envisioning what is supposed to be happening,

Yeah, adding animation takes a lot of work, but the end result looks so much better, doesn't it?

So much so, that I audibly laughed regularly throughout the game.

The highest compliment! I was pretty confident in my jokes this time around, I was still laughing at scenes like uHauntedHouse or gComiket on the sixth edit around.

that the protagonist was more of an actual character than more of a self insert

There's a well-respected theory in the writing world that the protagonist should always be the most interesting character.
However, the visual novel medium tends to have a culture of making their protagonists beta wallflowers to better self-insert. But I never understood that, because how can I self-insert has a beta male? I'm not a beta male, I'm a gymmaxxed romancepilled gigachad capricorn with sigma-omega interpolar characteristics. That's the kind of person I would prefer to self-insert into, so IT'S who I made the MC. I think a lot of other people feel this way too.

Ah, all that said, I didn't really make any strides to make him a self-insert. I just had him be him, y'know? In comparison to NNSN1 there was an effort made to distinguish him a little more this time around. Before he was kind of a horndog. The plot was so short, and I wanted him to hit on a lot of women in a limited timeframe, so it was inevitable. But in NNSN2, he has time to chill and hang out with the girls, giving him more time to demonstrate other aspects of his personality and develop as a character.

As for the girls, nearly all of them go through some character developments too, which I feel broadens them out a bit as characters, and gives more space to create interesting emotional and romantic scenes.

*SPOILERISHY TALK BELOW*

To be fair, my first run consited of having Petra Aquarium scene, into Reimu Fetish play into Festival ending back to back to back, which all could get really serious.

To be doubly fair, you knew what you were getting into when you chose those scenes. "I miss Pomu..." "Reimu's fetish is a bit depressing" and "Hang out with the loner girls." have a bit of a foreboding edge to them, don't they?

But that's the fun of having so many options, right? You can go for different tones of scenes based on your mood. Who knows, maybe subconsciously you were drawn to them? ;)

But it really is impressive how this game manages to balance sillyness and seriousness so nicely!

It's good to know I hit a balance.
I always saw the first game as Lazulight in tone, just a really happy and positive tone. Since this was the second game, I wanted it themed more Obsydia theme, darker and edgier. But I didn't want to make it TOO edgy, to the point that people who enjoyed the first game wouldn't enjoy the second. I cut scenes, toned others down. I think the jokes did a lot of work in smoothing the too serious bits over.

*DEFINITE SPOILERS BELOW*

To also circle back to the music, the end of summer (where you leave the mall) REALLY utilized the music, making me feel... something I can't quite point my finger on

I think it just hits on a lot of themes in the story. Loss of sanctuary, people and places changing, temporary endings, the foreboding feeling that your friends will leave some day.
I think a lot of work is done by the music too, like you mentioned. Black Marble is my favorite band, and that song is a slowed reverb version of a song on an album I like. That album's my favorite, because every song sounds like the ending soundtrack to a movie.

I listen to a lot of vaporwave and those reverb edits, I play a lot of those liminal space games set in empty malls and cities you find on itch.io. But I always thought there was something missing from them. I think it's context. In the game's timeline, you spent a summer there with your friends hanging out. And now that the summer is over, the mall is empty, and you need to move on. It's like SYMBOLISM~ Whoah~!
You can always slum around the mall with your friends next summer, but one day, the mall is going to close. You're going to grow up, grow out of being a mallrat.

And speaking of endings, I unironically started tearing up during the Lazulight ending. I don't know why

I got pretty emotional on the final edit for that scene too. Not sure why. I did save it for last though, maybe it was the culmination of the entire project being finished.

The leitmotif of the first game's main menu theme does strike a chord emotionally. I think there are other reasons too why the scene is so impactful.
For one, it's the first time in the series that all of Lazulight is together. And it's an ending scene (lol).
Secondly, the scene has no choices in it, as opposed to the other ends. So while you might play the Ethyria ending three or four times, and the Obsydia ending three times, you'll only ever see the Lazulight ending once. Makes it sort of special, you know?
I also think what really hurts about the scene is that it's so darn hopeful. Rizzotto-P is going to be a superstar, Finana is going back to school, Pomurin and Elira are going to take a trip to Antarctica, Elira will remember you. Nobody knows if these things are going to happen. So you could either see it as empty promises or hope for the future.

was Rosechu an intentional Chris Chan reference?

No comment.

This in itself isnt the part I want to critisize, rather in this game the scenes felt somehow weaker (except Tiger and Crazy Slut. That one went hard). I can't really explain how, I can only say that some ended more apruptly while others ruined the mood sometimes.

Mm, I can see that. I tried to make it more balanced across the entire VN, while also not forcing people to sit through a sex scene when they're not in the mood. But I also think I was a bit too caught up in trying to set the mood/scenario of a sex scene to make it interesting (even if you weren't in the mood). It makes the writing a little cowardly. I should also been making sure the sex scenes had better pacing (maybe a bit longer) and sensational descriptions, rather than tiptoeing around it. 

It doesn't help that sex scenes are a pain to script lol.

Thank you for the critique, I'll keep it in mind.

Rosechu ending (is it supposed to be cannon?)

Yup. Well, maybe. Probably. I like Pomu, but I also like Pomurin. And I like Rosechu too. I want them all the be canon, but it seems like some are mutually exclusive. So tricky!
See, this is why I love visual novels. I can put choice structures in whenever I don't feel like committing to a plot point.

A little nitpick, but why is the currency so inconsitent? In some scenes it's yen (Selen Claire's scene) while the Protagonist earns and spends Dollars.

I decided pretty early on into the first game to make currency wildly inconsistent. I think it's funnier that way.

Some scenes didn't make sense, if you thought an ingame day was really only a single day, which is why I also first thought that the ending was aprupt

Yeah, a couple scenes that mention 'the next day' were made pretty early on. I forgot to take them out. All scenes are supposed to be disjointed from the others. I was thinking about making a transition slide to make things a little less jumpy, but I never got around to it.

I also accept full culpability for making the timescale specific days. It was just easier to understand when I was scripting it and moving things around.

I'll say that I'm having a blast so far!

That's awesome to hear! Take your time, by all means.

I also want to say, that I'd rather wait for a fully fleshed out game, than to not wait for a rushed game and that you I don't mind you taking your time.

It'd be a shame to see for the Deleted Scenes to truly vanish in the Void.

It would. As well as my plans for the third and final game. That's where things get really dramatic, and you see a lot of character conflicts. It was going to be a total bloodbath.
I dunno. Give me more time and distance from it all. I didn't expect people to actually want more.

I might start making a german translation

While that would be super cool, I'm worried about it being too much of a workload for you. I make a lot of jokes in the VN, I'm not sure how well they would translate over. As well as the length, dear lord. I clocked it at about 800 pages.
I'd rather keep you on retainer as a potential future contact for German translation for my future projects. *winky face* I'd put your name nice and big in the credits. *winky face* *winky face*

I'm so happy you're picking up on the vibe I was trying to convey.  I'm glad it worked, and that you can empathize. Teenage youth is such a funny thing. There are magical moments, silly stressors, idle moments where you're just fucking around with your friends...
I wonder if that's what drew me to Nijisanji EN in the first place? I think there was a certain vibe when they came out that made people really empathize with them.
I just wanted to give people more of the good times.

It's good to know that the new structure worked. A lot of people had trouble with the love value system. I have a bad habit of gating endings and thinking they're easy to accomplish (since I already know all the steps lol). I'm glad the mallwalk structure fixed some of that. I still have a long way to go as a game dev, but I like to experiment with ways to make the game flow better overall.

It's funny you mention it. I was actually reached out to by a fan of the first one. He offered to let me use his songs, which was super cool of him. I heard the Corporate Grind song and then fell in love.
He makes songs about HoloX. Here it is, do check out his channel and let him know you liked it!

The fix is in!

Also, all the typos are fixed too. And the bugs and typos in the other long typo comment too. Momarchy was an intentional mispelling. Does was also intentional, as in the female deer.

Nah, that Asomedeus and The Root stuff is just an external reference. I don't remember when it gets referenced in the backrooms, but it's probably because Millie is a witch and a bit tied to the occult. Just a general reference.

Wow, this typo list is extremely helpful! Thank you so much, I'll get this stuff implemented 

The guide is accurate. 

You've been here since my Tower of Gloom/TSMGO phase? That's crazy to me. It's awesome. I'm glad I can give you better stuff with each release. And I'm also happy you stuck with me and tried out my new stuff, even with the genre change.

I'm glad the humor and characterizations land.

>love your take of the harem setting to make it something more believeable

Ah, it's interesting that you noticed that. Pretty early on, I was thinking about how to make a harem realistic without its usual trappings. I decided the best way to go about it was to put things in a messy obfuscated stasis. Reflecting on it, I think it was a pretty smart way to go about it, because it naturally creates conflict, which drives plot and character development.

I personally like the concept of a character finding themselves as a member of a harem, and seeing what they do in response. Some of the girls distance themselves emotionally, others see it as a competition, others still haven't come to terms with their feelings about love. It's the fun sort of drama that can bubble below the surface. It lets the girls continue to be strong characters and take stances, rather than just being lobotimized bimbos.

>new characters have variable screentime

This is true. I have no excuse for writing like, seven Maria scenes and giving Aia only two. Her cuteness overwhelmed me, I couldn't think straight.

Real talk though, I do feel like Aia and Scarle and Meloco are strong, fun characters. I wish I had time to implement all that I wanted, but there'snever enough time in the world, and the ideas came too late. 

See it as an introduction. Just like Ninisanni 1 was an introduction for the main cast. In that one, Elira got like, four scenes, if you don't count the flashback sequence. One was an introduction, two of them her end and the other was a missable collab.

>mallwalk and shops

Yeah, I could see how that wouldn't appeal to everyone. I like the system, but in retrospect I think the mall is just a tad too big, which makes finding the girls a bit of a pain sometimes. I'm still playing around with structural stuff like this. My next VN will have a completely different system, but I plan on eventually figuring out where the sweet spot is when it comes to player engagability and repetitiveness.

>I'm really curious to see where you're going to go from here.

I'm definitely going to take a long break. A year at least of not writing anything.

I'd like to say I'm doing it to mentally refresh and catch up on my video game/book/visual novel backlog, but really I'm just buying time to practice drawing and piano. I want to be able to make wonderful VNs with my own assets in the future!

I've got some great ideas, but I can't rely on borrowed assets forever.

As for more Niji? Probably not. The logical part of me says "fuck no, I'm done". But the artistic, completionist side keeps telling me "they're character arcs aren't finished yet" "the story's not finished" "add some Maria dress up options too" "give this girl a little more airtime" and "some of those deleted scenes were pretty good~". But I have to say no to that. I believe I have to move on to bigger and better things, just like the girls, their fans, and everybody else.

I've got a few great ideas kicking around, so I'm going to come back to drop them. I just need a break.

Aside from all that, I'm really glad you enjoyed it and noticed the little things I put a lot of work into. It makes it all worth it :) 

Yep. Don't worry about it. New characters get introduced on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday Morning. You work in the afternoon (depending your job, there are different days you work), have fun in the evening, and then a couple nights of the week you can engage in fetish play with the harem.

And here I thought I left typo town... Three in one scene!? Thanks for letting me know.

Anywho, take your time, enjoy yourself and have fun. Don't worry too much about the typos to the point where you're taking yourself out of the experience, you know?

Yup. Scarle is too tall for an option. Selen Daft Punk is meant to be in the second column. I guess I could have fit it in the previous one, but whatevs.
All songs there were in Ninisanni Scenario 1, so they came preunlocked.
Thanks for checking on this stuff though.

The fix is up for the small Get A Job! bug in the Todolist screen. But it doesn't really affect anything other than coming a bit early, so there's you don't need to download it.

You don't need to, but if you wanna help me out, can you note down typos in a notepad and then send them to me when you finish the game? I can easily find them, all you have to do is type the incorrect line.
Of course, there shouldn't be any typos (or bugs for that matter), given how much I've playtested the game, but we all know how it goes with writing.

Nope, I'll fix that after I get off work. Please let me know about any other bugs you see.

Today or tomorrow.

I am doing well, thank you for the well wishes!

I do plan on going forward with the sequel, I've been working hard on it for the past year.

Recents events are what they are, but by the time they happened, I had already written the full script and was halfway through coding it. I decided to continue for a myriad of reasons, but mainly because I believe it can be still enjoyed, even after everything.

I've had to delay it several times due to coding taking wayyyyy too long! But good news, I'm in the playtesting phase! Completely done with coding and writing and extras and UI and everything! I've set a date for June 14th, but I don't k ow if that's realistic, because I'm not through one run of one playthrough (and my playthrough average about 6-8 runs). I'm so worried about bugs, but I want this to be out sooner rather than later...

So basically, yes, it will come out! And it will be a lot of content, I can assure you that. Thank you for being considerate and patient, and I hope you enjoy it and laugh a lot when you play it.

Zaion is in and will be quite touchable in a variety of perverted ways.

Well, I have good news for you. I'm working on the sequel right now. It will be triple the length of the original Ninisanni Scenario by my estimation, all new content. More freeform too, so you can spend time with whoever you wish. 

Also, at this time I can confirm the girls past Ethyria will be in the sequel. If you like Maria, you're especially in for a treat.

The Selen bullying will continue until morale improves.

This one hit kind of hard. Like the other commenters, I feel this was meant explicitly for me.
Living like Ayumu, there's times I want a Nagi.
But at the same time, I think Nagiko is better for me. She keeps me hungry. I can cook for myself.

In terms of a review:

-Music perfectly fits the atmosphere.
-UI is impressive, but there's some slight disconnect with the rasterization of certain elements. I can't decide if I care enough about it to mark it down as a negative.
-Spritework is okay. Nagi's design is good enough, though it's hard to take her seriously with those pom pom earrings.
-Backgrounds are okay. Once again, there's a certain disconnect between it, the UI, and the sprites. I think it's about the saturation. I understand Nagi is meant to be brighter and more colorful than the BGs, but the UI textbox is so blaring, some of the effect is lost. That's not to say the UI textbox isn't beautiful.
-Writing is above average, but I still prefer other ebi-hime works more. I think it has to do with the setting. Not much you can do in a plot like this.
-Unease as a mechanic works and fits the game.

I'm thinking about it for Ninisanni Scenario 2. Some of the 3.0 expressions are too good to pass up, like creepy Selen or crying Rosemi. I might just do an overhaul of all of them, to be honest.

As for outfits, I tend to prefer their originals, so no plans for those changing.

Extremely short, to the point where you might as well not play it at all. 8 minutes, maybe? When the credits rolled around, I was expecting to only have played the intro.

Deceivingly high production value, voice acting,and design, only for it to flounder out so quickly.

The only positive I can state is that pulling the camera control away to focus on an object while walking is a much better gameplay element than using a cutscene.

From a narrative perspective (because that's likely what the producers will use to justify the lack of content) Luggage is vague and cowardly. We don't know why Steve iced Gale. We don't much care, to be honest. The girlfriend line gets thrown away. The foreboding implication of luggage just turns out to be a metaphor emotional baggage, which I physically cannot about, because none of Steve and Gale's relationship or conflict has been built at all.

I'm really hoping somebody tells me it's one of those fakeout endings and you're meant to start the game again to continue the story.

Surprisingly great fangame.

Reminds of the flash era. I wouldn't be surprised if you were a dev then, given the stickmen sprite for Millie.

Guns were fun. Handgun was probably the best due to damage and range, but I liked using the minigun instead because the slippage sometimes go around the corners of the platforms.

Metroid style maps works. I was surprised to find the map was randomly generated, but that was a much appreciate feature.

The challenge of the game comes with range. You lose range when moving, and you have to move to dodge attacks. A lot of attacks go through walls, but most of them don't fade out like your bullets do.

Because of this, I felt the beam was one of the best powerups, because it let you deal with very inconvenient enemies through walls.

That said, you bullets do hit enemies offscreen, which is much appreciated, simply because it feels fair, and proves that Journey of Calamity doesn't play by the same "restrictions" as most flash games.

One very solid mechanic I'd like to highlight is the graze. For those uninitiated, graze refers to when a bullet just nearly misses you. Unlike Touhou's graze, which just provides points that can later be redeemed for an extra life, Journey of Calamity's graze adds to your special meter, allowing you to use powers like nuke, shield, invicibility, attack up, etc. That creates more of an instantaneous gratification than touhou imo.

God Sees All music was great. I didn't tire of it, despite how many times I reset.

Is it just me, or does Millie speed up when not in combat? Good "Quality Of Life" Feature.

Pixel art and general art were kawaii. I appreciate how expressive they get. Dull-eyed Enna... eroi...

In conclusion, should you play this game if you don't know what a vtuber is and don't care about Millie? Yes. The gameplay is certainly enough to sustain it.

可以，可是可能选单搅乱。 要是我考虑而且实验。

Excellent game.

I am a fan of singleplayer card games, and this one certainly fills the heart shaped hole Inscryption left within me. It might help that I happen to like mushrooms.

Gameplay is sensible and lets you break the game. Major plus for card games. There are several different ways to exploit the mechanics and most of them work congruently.

Art is reasonable

Music is fine.

I love a good dungeon, and this game did it for me (with extra mushrooms). Would recommend to friends leery about Inscryption due to the length.

An excellent little game.

It's absolutely stunning that this was made within 72 hours.

Font, theme, and art aesthetic are all on point.

Sound effects are completely fitting.

Character models have their individual charm and provide indication on their preferred terrain.

The game provides a surprisingly challenging level of difficulty using RNG as a basis. You sometimes need to send your low level heroes on uncertain missions to raise their stars, and you have to choose within a limited pool of candidates, while planning ahead in regards to their natures and preferred terrains.

If there is one thing I would ask, it's for more quests to train lower level heroes stars. Towards the end, if you fail in a mission with your best heroes, it becomes a foregone conclusion that your low level stars aren't going to make it, and despite their being four days, there are no quests to increase their states.

I do love it though. It's charming, and reminds me of historical accounts of the Battle of Marathon.

I laughed at the therapist bit past the intro. Imagine waking up to somebody asking you how why you're such a terrible person. Instantly made me feel bad for the poor girl.

I really like nearly everything being examinable. Small details like that reward the player for being curious, and help make up for the weakness of pixel art with good prose.

This game is so pink. I like it though, it's the good kind of pink.

Art and UI seem to be at a bit of a fuzzy resolution, but I don't care because it reminds me of other RPGmaker games and feels homey.

Sound effects are really good, I really like the little piano notes. Brick, tile, grass, and pillows all have their unique footstep sounds. I really appreciate that small detail.

Music is comfy, not much to say. What you would expect.

I went in not expecting much from the demo, but I'm impressed. It's longer than I expected. I eagerly look forward to the full release.

What do I think of Laletta? I love her, of course!

Before I review, take into account this was made for a game jam in 72 hours. That's an insanely short amount of time to make a game, so props to you for making it in the first place.

That said, gameplay is terrible. Just fetch quests, all "go pick up ten of these". Did little to lure me into a sense of normality, it instead just sort of felt tedious.

Character designs are all generic and hard to tell apart but I like the way they speak with rising inflection.

I can forgive the 2.5D trees because I kinda like that aesthetic.

Textures are terrible, probably the worst part of the game.

I hate that something spooky is revealed on day 3, and there's nothing you can really do about it for the next couple days. Just felt kinda like 'oh, there it is'.

The ending was pretty hairraising though. Pretty neat. The darkness, the music change, both good choices. You went with a good final scare.

Overall, the limitations you had bump it up from waste of time to mid.

I think your problem comes with the premise. You spend a lot of time in the OG Animal Crossing constructing your own little world, so when something creepy does happen, it feels like a violation of your personal space on top of being scary. Here, you have little time to get acquainted, and even less involvement in the world.

Not much you could do for that, given the time you had, but I would have added a couple other trivial quests (dialogue, fishing, maybe tending to a garden), and more time to get acquainted with the villagers.

If you had any desire to, I think the wealth of comments above mine show there are a lot of people interested in you expanding on the concept.

Another excellent entry by ebi-hime. Sweetest Monster and Sweetest Monster: Refrain is probably her best work (out of the five or so I've read) and I have no hesitation in regularly recommending it to people, even those that don't read too much visual novels.

What separates this VN from the rest you see on the market, is ebi-hime's writing. She's a rare talent. Even I don't write as well. Her writing is surprisingly easy to take in and binge for how deep and emotional it gets.
You'd think one would get a little sick of a twenty minute monologue on how much a character hates themself and wants to die, but you don't. Pins and needles, only enhanced by the music.

Music is good. Piano focus is smart

The titular song 'Sweetest Monster' is my favorite. Something about the instruments used. It's a song I strongly associate with the mood of this VN.

Props to the team. Darksin and Ruderoo's art assets are really... paintinglike. The kind of painting that feels comfortable to stare at. The sort of colors and soft lines you remember the world being like when you were a kid.

Haofeng made the GUI assets clean, very professional.

MINOR SPOILERS from hereon out. If itch.io has a spoiler tag function, please let me know.

Let's get this out of the way first, Sally best girl. It's not even really close. It's not just how ubercute she is, part of it is her sheer understanding and reasonable worry.

That said, Bell had a point. I agree with her completely, and if I were in her place, I would operate exactly as she did.

The most hateable character is probably the main character, but you really can't hate him, given it's ebi-hime writing his internal dialogue. I swear, she could make Stalin seem down to earth.

That makes Lily the least relatable character, but her duty, honesty, and goodness is admirable. I'll be picking up Lily of the Valley next.

I'll be honest. I'm a little sad to see the story end. However, stories need conclusions. Forced drama to drag out the narrative ruins good premises, and I respect ebi-hime for not going that route.

ON EBI-HIME'S NOTES

Reading ebi-hime's notes, it's really interesting to me that it was partially inspired by Nekopara. I walked away from Nekopara with the same impression as ebi-hime. The dystopian, slavelike nature of the world irritated me.
How can you call it love when one side is shackled to the other by necessity? It reeks of otaku power fantasy. Virgin losers don't have enough game to pull catgirls naturally, so they resort to systematic enslavement? Makes the fuwa fuwa come off as creepy. It doesn't even lean into the creepiness like it could. Never saw the appeal.

I suppose that's a reversal there in Sweetest Monster: Refrain with Bell the catgirl being in control.

Another thing it does better than Nekopara is reflecting the nature of the cat. Cats are not dogs. Left to their own devices, they have a 5 miles radius in their day to day life. They like to roam, meet up with friends, get in fights, hunt, explore, do parkour, etc.
Whereas dogs like defending a central location and getting affection, cats are more whimsical and selfish. If you like catgirls, Bell feels like much more of a catgirl than most catgirls.

Honestly, there's so much of a power gap between Sweetest Monster and Nekopara, I don't even see the comparison.

ebi-hime made the correct decision with the setting being England. It's more unique, and was part of the draw of Sweetest Monster for me. I love seeing the cultural idiosyncrasies of her English settings. Gives me an impression of modern day English comedy/slice-of-life that's more than just the Inbetweeners and Fresh Meat.

On a final, more positive note, I'd like to praise ebi-hime once again. Most great OELVN writers drop one excellent work and then disappear off the map. ebi-hime keeps at it.
More than any other VN producer (Japanese or otherwise), she inspired me the most. OELVNs are often seen as lesser. Less effort, less professionalism, less of a market. ebi-hime proves that assumption wrong by taking her works seriously, and it's really, really, cool to see. If it were anybody else, we wouldn't get a Sweetest Monster: Refrain, but we did. Seeing her take her work seriously makes ME want to take my work seriously, and I can't stress enough how glad I am that I do, because VNs are fun to read and fun to create.

Looks like this is your first game. What's more, you completed it in two weeks. Good job!

I have some constructive criticisms, but you can thoroughly disregard them if you want, since two weeks is a hard limit to make a game, especially having never done it before.
The fact you finished it AT ALL in those two weeks is a testament to your tremendous game development and writing skill, so once again, props.

Review:

Text reads too slow, you should either add a setting to speed it up, or speed it up naturally.

Art is notably amateurish, but I don't care, it's charming enough. If anything, it's clean, which is a big plus.

There's zero reason to have music restart upon changing BGs if it's the same music.
Also, the five second loop is rather grating. At least go for thirty seconds or something. I'm listening to it while writing this review and going insane.

Personal gripe, but I hate trigger warnings for ostensibly cute games. I'd rather you scar some children for life, than spoil the surprise for myself.

Font is too generic. A lot of VNs care about accesible fonts, which yours likely is, but it doesn't fit the art style of your game.

UI is overall poor. Save menu is unreadable, put a background behind it. Rollback behind the textbox is insane.

If I were you, I'd theme all the UI in your blocklined artstyle. Would add charm.

I got the Good Ending my first run. The twist was nice, took me by surprise. Good concept.

I refuse to go through it again to see the bad ends. I couldn't do that to Strawberry and the Strawbunny...

I liked clicking the strawberry to exit the menu. People might rag on you for it, saying you should have used some accessible universal symbol like an X, but I disagree. Charm over accesibility, in my opinion. Strawberry everything!

btw, I really tried finding the song that played there, would you mind posting a link to it/a playlist with the Soudntrack? 

It's in the jukebox. Just click on the song names. Not all of them will be unlocked though, you have to have certain achievements.  The musicians themselves are mentioned in the credits. All songs are taken from NijiEN members music, a lot of them are their BGMs

In addition to that the characters felt real, with multiple character traits, not being based completely on a single little trait. No character acted completely out of line from what I expected (although i almost only watch clips form some the featured VTubers).

I have to give as much credit to the Nijigirls as I do to myself. They're all such strong personalities with their individual habits and quirks. With certain girls like Rosemi and Finana, you can basically copy-paste from how they normally speak, their voices are so distinct.

It's also nice to hear they were accurate. This was a big worry of mine and I spent countless hours watching streams from the girls I don't usually watch, so as to capture their vocal tics and the cadence of their banter. 

I'm glad I did, because I originally wasn't going to include Ethyria at all, so as to limit the scope. But I was watching a Nina stream one day, and realized how incredibly talented and charismatic she is. From there on, there was no way I wasn't going to include them, even if that meant essentially doubling the writing time and asset production.

but the Sprites, that were there felt alive when animated. It also lead to the texts being more decriptive, and the player having to use a little bit of imagination without having to use too much.

Fufufu, this was my intention. Staging the characters and choreography took almost as much time as the rough draft, but once you get to see them move and speak, it's really magical.

I especially enjoyed the smutty scenes, because they were so well written.

This was my first time ever writing sex scenes, but I found that it wasn't uncomfortable at all. A big part of their success, I attribute to the natural intimacy and connection between the MC and the girls.

Speaking of which: would you be comfortable with me releasing some sort "Ultimate guide" for the "All LINEs" and "Seduce all nine girls" achievments, when I get there?

Someone already made one in this link. I can confirm it's accurate . 

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS IN LINK

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V1pVCAn6xjaJ9o59uQbLYETIHwMt5d0w/view?usp=drive...

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS IN LINK

What I'm trying to say is... this Game somehow awakened a special feeling in me, that I cannot really explain, but it's a good one!

That's really cool to hear. I tried my best to put heart and soul into it, so people could feel the way I feel. That it touched you and others in the same way that it touched me really means a lot.

Anyways, did this change my opinion about Visual Novels? A little, yes.

This is great to hear. VNs have so much potential as a medium. Some great stuff has been published, but there's so much room to grow, and when creators start taking their work seriously, they can create some truly amazing stuff.

And if you do, I would appreciate more Characters (looking at you, Mika)

I'm playing around with the idea of cameos in the sequel. I typically wouldn't consider it, but certain individuals fit so naturally within certain scenarios.

But did this intruduce me to someone who has great writing skills? Absolutely! Consider me a follower.

Look forward to my future releases then! I'm not stopping just yet, it's full steam ahead for me!

yeah overall i really enjoyed the game so just minor critiques and even then took me abit to think of some lol

Hey, then it means it was overall pretty solid. Still, no matter how minor, it's still good to take everything into account.

i hope some more people stream it

That would be the dream, wouldn't it? Let me say this here, anyone can stream Ninisanni Scenario without my consent, or any restrictions.
No way one of the NijiEN girls would be approved for it, but I hope some other streamers and their chats can find enjoyment.

definitely looking forward to whatever you make next

Please do. I'm not going to rest on my laurels, that much is certain.

Thanks again and have a nice night!

Thanks for giving it a try! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Looks like I'm going viral, woohoo!

but she isnt really the outside type she's said that she likes to just stay home and is a introvert

Not to rib on the girls any more than I already have, but the majority of them don't seem like the outdoor type lmao. I mean, they sit inside and play video games all day. But I can't throw stones in glass houses, I suppose, because I do the same thing.

In any case, in that scene the MC is a bit more experienced than she is in the outdoors, but she takes to it rather well, I feel. I wish the real Selen would give it a try. Who knows, she may just enjoy it!

been nice if there were some small choices in the endings

The choices are mainly meant for getting onto routes. But you're not wrong, in that they're a pretty fun way to steer the scene, even if no game aspects are involved. I like giving the players control. I'll take it into consideration for my next work.

2 GB

High quality BGs for panning and zooming. You (as well as anybody else) can find a compressed version here https://f95zone.to/threads/ninisanni-scenario-v1-0-dullachan.152210/#post-103507...

Edit: You know what, just for you I'm going to upload the compressed version to itch.io. No reason not to, I suppose.

Edit2: I'm reneging, as I now realize the compresser compressed it with persistent data still inside (activated flags and spoiler save states). What a goofball.

Selen route kills me because I just cannot find the trigger to finish it and get the ending

Did you get her LINE? Doing so nets you a fair amount of points toward her route, and elucidates what seduction techniques work well on her and what doesn't.

Since all the girls are different, they're not all captured the same. Still, plenty of hints are dropped throughout the VN as to how capture Selen.

scenario 2 one day

It's an idea that's cooking. I'm taking a couple months off for now, but I have plans in the works.

Oh my, thanks for all the praise! I'm pleased that you've notice and appreciated some things I've taken gentle care to include, it's always a sigh of relief.

>Would have been nice if the Luxiem guys had more than one and done cameos

To be honest, I don't feel comfortable writing them accurately, because I don't watch them all too often. I also think they're talented and special enough to deserve their own VN, made by people who are more familiar with their in-jokes and speech patterns.

>drink-strip quiz game no choices

It does stand out, particularly because the scene is long.
Choices were my intention initially, but my peabrain kept getting confused by the continuity of removed clothing and whose turn it was. Probably should have thrown some small choices in though, if only to make those girl's routes a tad easier.

>common route

The routes are really strange in this VN. Only two girls have their "routes" affect proceeding through the common route (common route defined as everything before the corkboard). One of those two are only in because the scenes are vestigial, from a time when I wanted each girl to have to earn their route in the common route.
I changed this around once I realized I wasn't giving the girls enough screentime to work their way into your heart.

>stalker reveal

Others have complained about this too. I think what it comes down to is false advertising on my part. Stalker isn't exactly the right word. Yandere seems to cover it, but it's more of a character trait than a role/archetypal VN role... Matchmaker might work, but it's weird and has more positive connotations... Part of the difficulty is not being descriptive enough to spoil the minor reveal.
I am noting the demand for stalker Enna. I'm definitely taking it into account, nfufufu...

>same cast in a different context

This would be the most likely scenario. I am completely gassed on ideas for scenes for the school setting. If I do throw out a sequel, I'm gonna take the girls somewhere different. Maybe make them OLs. Maybe throw them into an isekai world. Maybe they all go on a roadtrip. I haven't decided, but I have some ideas... 

Once again, thanks for giving it a try, and I'm happy you enjoyed it!

>really makes me want to create a VN

Definitely give it a shot! I love VNs a lot, and would love to play more. VNs are easier to make then you think. My recommendation is that you download Renpy to see if you like it. There are other tools for VN creation, but I don't see them offer many features that make them worth the switch.

Included within your download of Renpy are two games, Tutorial and The Question. Tutorial is a Renpy tutorial in VN format with a cute lady explaining how to go about using Renpy in a very easy to understand way. The Question is a sample VN that you can edit, replace assets and dialogue and such. The script files for The Question is intentionally laid out in a very clean format, so as to show you how a proper script should look. 

For viewing .rpy files, I use Editra. For sound effects, I go to Zapsplat. For backgrounds, I go to Unsplash. Take those and some ripped sprites of your favorite chuubas off the internet, and just go at it! Oftentimes, if you have nice BG, it helps inspire the scene in your head.

Past that, it's all up to you. Creativity matters a lot, and it's cultivated over time. If you want my advice on how to REALLY make your VN stand out, I have three points. 

1. Animation: Every line of dialogue from a character should have an expression change or movement. This will be time consuming, but the finished product is really movielike and choreographed. It's fun to do too, like being a stage director!

2. Sound Effects: I used way less sound effects than I should have.  When used properly, they can add a lot of ambience. The hard part with sound effects is finding the perfect sound effect for your situation.

3. UI: To those who have played a lot of VNs, the default UI to Renpy is poison on the eyes. Definitely change up the images in the GUI folder, if you get the chance. Though since you're a beginner, you shouldn't worry much about this one, but it's definitely something to consider in the future when releasing a finished product. Adding image maps, jukeboxes, extras, are all fun little quality of life things that put a bit of extra soul into your project.

If you'll allow me to wax poetic for a moment, visual novels are a beautiful medium whose advantages haven't been fully captured yet, I feel. Their appeal lies more within a cinematic experience than the written word, and favors those who know their characters and can write snappy dialogue, but maybe flounder when it comes to scenic descriptions. It's closer to directing a movie than it is writing a book, so anticipate getting your hands dirty in writing, art, sound design, and coding. I don't mean to scare you off though, because it's all fun in very unique ways.

>in petra's ending was that an AoT reference or am I just misinterpreting it?

I felt bad killing the mood with that line, but I couldn't stop laughing every time I went over it in proofreading, and so I decided to leave it in.

>I do kinda wish some of the ending were a little fleshed out

As do I. If I were to do it again, I would've added more, more, more. Definitely add at least one more scene to offset the date -> epilogue resulting in back to back sex scenes.

Maybe I will, you never know. I had to pace this one weirdly because I wanted players to get a thorough introduction to the girls through a longer common route before they chose. 

>deck the main character in the face

I tried to avoid the very Japanese trope of making the self-insert a wilting flower. And then when the results leaned too far in the other direction, making him a boisterous dummy, I just fanned the flames because it was funny. I think in the very first scene with the flashback is the most unforgivable for me. It's just so enraging.

>pomu's ending

I'll give you a hint. You get on it before the collab scenes. So the first day's choices matter the most, and after that it doesn't matter at all.

Glad you're enjoying it!

As for a hint, there's a key choice in the Millie festival scene which can cut you off entirely from her route! Choose carefully...

A legitimately good proof of concept. It has an interesting premise, set up for some suspense based plotline.

The art is good.

I want it to be finished, so that I can play it fully.