This really needs some rewriting. The pacing is terrible, characters that are actually interesting are abandoned constantly in favor of new faces without a chance to really develop, let alone letting anything romantic develop. It feels like only the primary plot is given consideration, and the rest is just a vehicle to drive the plot forward... meaning it becomes difficult to invest in any of these empty characters.
Viewing post in My New Second Chance [EP21] [FREE] comments
Either you didn't play the whole game or you didn't read anything I wrote on the initial page. I mentioned there that I added so many girls to have more future content and that from episode 11 onward, I would focus only on the girls already in the game to deepen the story. It seems like you didn't read anything and just came to criticize for the sake of criticizing, which makes things difficult, man.
Apologies again for my inadequate explanation. I'm trying to suggest that, essentially, you're going to have to write backwards. Flesh things out and adjust pacing. Eventually, you're probably going to come to this conclusion on your own.
I am being an armchair commander and an ass though, and even my apologies are sounding superficial and assinine. Sorry for being an insufferable know it all. I really do respect you a great deal, for being able to carry through a complex project like this to such a point, and for really putting yourself out there. I'm sorry if I only served to embitter you with poorly aimed criticisms, and hope you'll ignore naysayers like myself and keep doing your good work.