I'm sorry you felt that way about my edits! TAT
But I assure you, you're not being selfish by following through with your own writing! You have your own vision, and your version has its own charm -especially the action scenes with the shooting mechanic- it felt fresh to see how it was implemented. I think for your first short story, you were doing great, considering you were sick by the time we develop this (hope you're feeling well now!)
I'm happy to help, and looking forward to see more of your creation Yui!
Don't feel sorry for how I felt because of your edits lol, it just shows how I need to be better, learning more in writing and art. Yeah, I was pretty sick throughout the jam XD and was starting to get better on the third week, and I'm very grateful for all your help. I hope someday we can work together again (if you want tho ahahaha)
Anyway, thank you so much ^^/ for everything. I learned from you alot.