I like the idea you were going with! I think a couple things though...
I think the mix could be improved! the Bass and chiptune elements got a bit overwhelming but were nice.
I would've love to have heard more of the chiptune elements thrown in. I think you might've had a cleaner sound that sounds more futuristic with a sine wave rather than the square tone you used in the tracks. I think the rock elements clash with the tone of your story. Maybe a mix between the organ part The Who's in "We Won't Get Fooled again
and Bit.Trip RUNNER's "Impetus" track. Hope that makes sense.
But overall I think you have a great idea in your tracks!