Hello and welcome to my Extremely Long Running Commentary review. (spoiler warning for other players, this comment is entirely for the creator's entertainment)
Me, reading the first 2 screens of text and remembering the title: oh no. ohhh nooo.
The blind date scene had me cackling, it was such a real conversation and also immediately endeared me to the protagonist. Incredibly effective opening scene.
God, the character writing? The dialogue quality is bonkers. You write such real, funny, entertaining characters. And the way you describe things is so comedic and memorable. Gah.
The first menu you use, the head bonking...great use of repetition. Great use of forcing the player to make this action of harm a decision rather than a passive piece of narration, it hits (haha) so much harder. (side note, you describe the feelings of being a struggling creative so well. I love how you put all these experiences into words.)
You know that part in Kingdom Hearts 2 where they're like "They stole our [___]! They even stole the word [___]!!" ? Anyway I fucking love this game.
Something I keep noticing while playing: the way you utilize pauses in the text is really great, and I hope to do something similar in my future games. I feel like I am learning how to Game Good from playing this.
THE ANGEL. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE ANGEL. HELLO??? (Also I love how you use your BGM, the music shapes my interpretation of each scene in such great ways. Also how you use silence? I don't think I would have been so liberal with having silent scenes, and it's widening my view of what can be an entertaining VN.)
THE WAY SHE CURSES LEA WITH IMMORTALITY OUT OF SPITE. HILARIOUS. I love this game.
Angel: "If you eat this it will kill you." Lea: "bet [STUFFS MOUTH]"
BAHAHAHAHA, god...never threaten an unwilling immortal who has already attempted suicide with death. This game is so funny. This rules. "Can you CHILL?" bahahahaha
Best dodgeball match ever. Man I love sports anime.
Holy fucking shit I love Kai. This is a character type I adore, 'charming' faux-friendly evil. And he talks like a transmigration isekai protag. I love everything about him. Aauuugh. Evil evil evil. That scene ended so good, he's awful.
Now it's a mermaid story??? This VN is taking me to so many places. I'm having a great time.
oh nooo mermaid story was too powerful, I'm emotions now
the "Fuck off" bit was written so well
Mental Crystal being the voice of reason in Lea's head is so good. I love mental Crystal. I wish I had my own mental Crystal.
Kai appears again to charm the protagonist and I jump out of my seat and start applauding. Getting to experience him from someone who isn't afraid of him is fun. He seems sooo charming for unknown reasons. He's sooo evil. I love him.
"you gained a will to live not even two minutes ago, and you're already going to fucking die" I love this writing
I love how weak for girls Lea is. "Oh no she's cute" "Oh no I might be gay" girl....
Lea's post-kiss freak out is so relatable. The "I did something that got a negative reaction and now I am withering, I am being pathetic, I am waiting for reassurance, I want the person I wronged to comfort me"...not something I see much in writing, but something I definitely see in life. Gah. She's just like me fr.
VIVI
Lea please stop dissociating. Please. VIVI !!!!!!
oh my god not dissociating wasn't enough
aaauuuugh you hit on my favorite narrative thread, a little thing i like to call karmic entitlement. "I've been through so much. I deserve her." THAT THERE. Is my favorite thing to write and also think about. And it's here in this game!! This game has everything.
I DID NOT EXPECT HOW THAT GOD RUN IN WOULD GO. That ruled. That fucking slapped. Holy shit. Such good dread, very effective, absolutely threw me for a loop, hell yea
I love that the game asks what I had been wanting to ask Lea, which is "Why the fuck didn't you use your privilege on Vivi?". And then I get my answer and it's so disappointing (GIRL YOU KISSED HER, HOW DID YOU FORGET? I know you were mid panic attack and in pain and in shock from seeing someone die and flipping your shit but also GIRL HOW)
KAI YIPPIE
hahahahahaha he has a fucking health potion. I knew the second it was described as red. This RPG fucko hits all my comedy spots.
Hey. Hey. That game? That game ruled. I am so your fan now. I 100% am invested and am in support of part 2. I love this story. This rules. man. I feel so good. What a satisfying playing experience. 10/10 will be rolling this story around in my head for days.