Absolutely no pressure, but also if you do you'll have my eternal loyalty (just kidding--you already have it. But I'll be extremely grateful and impressed wwww)
Pride
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A member registered Jan 13, 2023 · View creator page →
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First of all, thank you so much for making this!
My question is: is there a straightforward way to group a CG with it's variations, so they're all under one thumbnail? Preferably in a way that opening the thumbnail would let you click through each version of the specific CG.
I'd rather not clutter the gallery with near-identical images grouped together 😅
Hello and welcome to my Ultra Long Running Commentary Comment, where I put down all my thoughts and reactions as I actively play for your hopeful entertain. (Spoiler Warning for fellow players.)
Ooooh the opening screen. Love the atmosphere, both from the music and the art. Strong menhera vibes right out the gate with the IV drip, hell yes. I didn't honestly expect the visual menhera aesthetics to be strong in the cyborg game, and thought the menhera would mostly be felt in the narrative themes and writing, so this is a nice surprise. (Also, I like how the start button is "Enter Memory." I love when menu options are creative.)
I'm sorry for thinking the opening dream reminds me of Maria's last words to Shadow the Hedgehog... 😔
The art. Is so good. I love this art style. Aughh. Art good. Essie's hair flowing over the pillow looks so nice.
I loooove the formatting of the text on the first Lie. The red wiggling, scrolling line of anxious thoughts over the command....such good use of atmosphere, and I have no idea how you coded it. Extremely cool.
You know those old dolls that'd have a pull ring on a string, and if you tugged it the doll would say phrases? Well Sol looks like she has two of those and I want to yank them so so bad.
....so I finished, and I immediately, no hesitation hit 'Enter Memory' again. I feel this conviction that if I play a second time there will be New Game + content, and more game, and things will continue, and I can make Sol proud and do my exercises and bust outta this joint.
I feel like this is not actually what is happening, though, so now I'm just really hoping for a part 2. There's so much intrigue here, the very beginnings of a story. I feel very much invested. Rattling the bars of my cage. Aaaaaaaaaaugh. Good game.
Hello and welcome to my Ultra Long Running Commentary Comment, where I share all my impressions as I play for your entertainment. (Spoiler Warning for other players)
I am immediately impressed with the opening menu, I'm not sure I've seen an animated Ren'py menu before. But also all the medical safety that's been drilled into me from using needles is screaming "THOSE SYRINGES NEED CAPS. THEY SHOULDN'T BE MOVING SO MUCH. THEY'RE GOING TO HURT SOMEONE. BIOHAZARD" wwww (any, SO cute and stylish, the menhera vibes are immediately off the charts)
[me, getting to the very first screen] OMOCAT SPOTTED
oh my god, the time-specific references...Kero Kero Bonito...kawaii super bass...I'm guess there's gonna be a lot of namedrops like this and I shouldn't be writing every single one I relate to, but like. One of the most powerful things that I think can reinforce the potency of a piece of art is the power of "Oh, I get that reference!!!!". I think it's why genre comedy also hits so good. And this game is such an effective zeitgeist, so that power is So Strong (not to mention I think you probably have the perfect target audience with the menhera game jam), so like...auuugh. I'm going to have so much fun.
ohhh, I immediately love Sabila. I love that the "awkward comphet boyfriend from high school" is not an uncomfortable part of the past, but a very exciting and happy reunion. I was waiting for "oh no he's turned into a creep and feels entitled to my attention because we dated" and instead she's rocking pastels and is nice and (my current impression) rules.
These fucking. Anime flavored cigarettes. Nurse Miku cigs. God. I'd also buy cigarettes I had little-to-no intention of smoking for the cute factor.
GIRL DON'T TAKE HER SPIRO. SHE NEEDS THAT. (anyway I love how it's immediately evident in the next timeskip that Evee and Sable are soooo together and also cute.)
The OCD writing is really spot on. Someone close in my life tells me a lot about their experiences with OCD, and the narration in this game reflects so much of what they've described. I might ask if they want to play this game, because I think it'll help them feel seen.
oof. I've been in situations where someone I cared about took lethal amounts of alcohol and drugs. That scene with Sable was very realistic, incredibly well written. Augh. Ough. And may I reiterate: oof.
When the call with Pega Studios finished and the screen went to "FIN" I was like "ALREADY???". And then there was more and I let out a breath of relief. (BTW I love the graphic design for the logo and "FIN" and just, all the cute menhera text, holy shit that font design is stellar.)
okay, so. I loved this game. There were a few points where I couldn't quite follow who was talking, but given most dialouge didn't have name tags, it was FAR LESS than one would expect. The context usually made it quite clear, which was impressive. I think you did a good job utilizing the art assets you had to make a visually nice game without much in the way of character sprites, too. Overall everything was really well executed, the story was so relatable and real, and the ending made me a little sad but in a cathartic way (which feels, at it's core, extremely menhera).
This also looks like one of the game jam entries with the most explicitly menhera flare, which makes me really really like it. I'm really glad you made it and submitted it to this jam.
First of all, your logo. As someone who struggles so so bad with logo design (to the point where I just straight up did not make a logo for my own submission to this jam), I really admire how interesting and cool y'all's looks. Very visually impressive.
Second, I love the different placement of the text in the intro to show Mia's speech, her thoughts, and then the narration. It's very smartly done and shows me everything we can do with visual novel execution. Great use of the medium.
The dialogue was also well written, Mia is extremely funny. She is also so unhinged. Scared the shit out of me, which I'm assuming was the goal, and if so it was done very effectively.
Hello and welcome to my long running commentary comment, where I share my thoughts as I actively play the game for your hopeful entertainment (spoiler warning for fellow players)
I immediately love the opening screen, it's such a nice piece of art and the low lighting sets a more ominous tone than I expected from my initial impression of the game. I am now recalibrating my expectations from 'cute and silly' to 'cute and Containing Dark Undertones.'
(Just a note: when I click on the menu tabs like About and Preferences, the font color makes the text on the sidebar basically illegible until rolled over. Not a huge deal, but thought it could be helpful to point out)
The bedroom background...is so cute. Holy shit that looks nice.
So, fun fact: Orchid was on my list of targets for Art Fight this year, I didn't quite get to her in time but I made an initial sketch and everything (will probably send it to you later as an off-season attack). Anyway, I have looked at Orchid's character reference, and saw she was described as a bit of a mean girl. I knew this. But some part of my brain insisted "but she seems so sweet! I am struggling to integrate this knowledge into my worldview because she's so cute." And now I'm reading her narrative voice and...yea. Yea. I see it now wwww
"See. I always knew there was something wrong with me." OOF. That's a great wham moment, and so early on in a game. Good writing.
Gah, I just...love this art. I love your art style. I love the aesthetics in the game and the colors. I love the soft linework. Every image is a joy, I'm eating this up. Augh.
Orchid's various expressions look so nice. Also her fears of "someone is going to recognize what is wrong with me and take me away, I'm watching everyone's faces waiting for them to notice" are so relatable...I feel like the metaphor is right in front of me, and I am relating to it even without understanding the specifics.
Oh this girl's got Anxiety
Orchid nooo stop being mean and standoffish to your friend/crush. Orchid you gotta CHILL. Orchid I am hoping you get smooches by the end of this game and you are Not doing yourself any favors. Orchiddd.
MOUTH ARMS, FUCK YEA
The way that she's like "I used to be kinda cool, now I have to factor my arms into things I do" actually hit so hard as someone who became disabled suddenly late in life. Orchid just like me fr.
Okay the metaphor feels Very apparent and Extremely relatable now, also goddamn I love how you describe her slow transformation. The cracks leaking not-blood, the mouths, the horns digging into her brain....ouuughhhh visceral and intriguing and cool.
Something I've been noticing throughout this game is how the BGs sometimes blur and distort during moments of narrative stress, and how cool of an effect that is. Huge fans. Inspires me to think more creatively about how I use BGs.
The part where Lune is like "Demons aren't real!" and Orchid is like "what does she mean, not real? Then how do you explain what's been happening to me? What are these thoughts and feelings I've been having, and the pain?" and oooouuuughhh goddamn. Relatable. Like, even while knowing Lune might be right, and that demons are not the correct explanation for what's been happening to Orchid, when Lune was initially talking I felt betrayed on orchid's behalf. Especially bc I've been through so much misdiagnosis and dismissal by doctors, it just hit there. There are Emotions Happening, dev. I am Experiencing Things.
THE SMOOCHES. YESSSS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED
I find it interesting that the initial horns never go away. They're no longer the really long versions they were by the end of the transformation, but they also didn't disappear. Does she just have horns now? I am spinning the implications of this around in my head.
Great game, fantastic message, and the art and narrative voice were both phenomenal.
Hello and welcome to my running commentary comment, where I tell you all my thoughts as I'm playing to give you as much feedback (and hopefully entertainment) as possible. (Spoiler warning for other players)
As someone who has made a "Which Character Are You?" quiz for my VN, to see someone else build one into their actual game honestly feels so good. Was the first thing I clicked on, it was very good thinking to have a question prompting whether I'd played yet & redirect me back to the menu. Now I'm even MORE invested in playing, bc I want to take the fun little quiz at the end.
My first thought as I begin: oh no this relationship 😬 (extremely real tho.)
I'm so used to fictional depictions of plurality having the first alter be a voice of reason, and at first Lila sounds very much like one...but no. Lila, come on. Neither of these clowns is completely wrong but GIRL we gotta up our standards. Lila no. (Anyway the way you write plurality is much more realistic and refreshing, which. I have a guess as to why. And I appreciate that you are writing these stories and sharing them.)
that very real thing of "help me" "why do you need help? Are u mad at me?" LIKE!!!...I have a friend who used to talk just like that. It is so silly. Not to live with, insecurity and anxiety are a bitch, but just objectively (and especially in fiction rather than real life)...I can't help but find it funny. And it happening even during a very desperate bodyhorror pleading for help moment adds layers that the incidental comedy kinda intensifies? Anyway i like it
The situation of desperately asking someone for help, being told help is coming TOMORROW, and then having that followed up with "well. guess I need to clean my room now' is just. auuuugh. I love absurdity in horror. This is so kafkaesque fr. The most kafkaesque writing I've ever seen, outside of Kafka. (I have always wanted a modern Metamorphosis. This rules.)
"I came here to get laid, not to, fuckin--I don't even know what you wanted from me!" girl she told you like five million times, she wants you to help her. Girl. Girl please.
Oh my fucking god I evaporated her. She was apparently so hot and now she doesn't have a body at all. Damn...
god dammit cloud gf can still talk
SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW LILA. smh she vouched for you and everything..... (also I fucking love this post-cloud conversation. Very absurd circumstances for a very real conversation, feels extremely realistic to stories I've heard from my fellow plural peeps and their exes/bad friends.)
Me as soon as the neighbors started knocking at my door: man I hope I get to disintegrate them (and then I did!!! This game gives me everything I want)
did...did Lila fronting just as the transformation started...make the transformative power (whatever that is) consume & change Lila?? Black Cat wearing Lila's 'skin' (voice, ig?)??? I am spinning theories around in my head
Beth. Beth, why did you not raid the fridge before running? Beth. Beth please.
I love how lavender-text's first line ("Poor thing..you're rotting") is so genuinely comforting, and is immediately followed by something far worse. Beth I feel you so much rn.
oh my god she said like 2 more things and the vibes are SO bad, Beth get out of here Beth noooo
...okay so the vibes are still weird, but now I'm starting to like the nurse. Not trust the nurse, she feels like some kind of weird chaser maybe. But she's intriguing. All her reactions to things are novel. I like how she describes things. I enjoy her.
Okay Lila is apparently still here. Hm. Can't get a read on her 👁👁
I DON'T WANT TO EAT THE NURSE. Unless she's into it, which tbh I could see her being.
"There was a little piece of her that wanted to see what that smile looked like after she had been bitten into" I love this line
oh. oh uh. After that choice between love and food, uh. Things are progressing very rapidly. (<- frightened delight)
What I'm realizing in the middle of these love confessions is that Beth still doesn't know the nurse's name. And immediately there was so much unease. Which is cool. I like the ways in which this game makes me uncomfortable. (speaking of which--time to reload and eat her)
I FUCING KNEW SHE'D BE INTO IT
ohhhh but this writing. To be fueled with hunger for the only person in recent memory to give her understanding and compassion because she's "starving. She didn't realize it before, but Beth needed food badly" ......METAPHOR. metaphor!!!! Jumping up and down about effective use of metaphor!!!
okay. Great game. Very satisfying game. I feel like the toxic relationship and the nurse bit wove together and informed each other so well and I love it. But now's the moment of truth. Now I get to DO THE QUIZ (I love this mad carnival-esque music in this menu wwwww)\
oh my god, I'm the nurse. I didn't realize that's exactly what I wanted until I got it. I will brag to my friends that I got the best result in this quiz! This game knows me so well. 10/10 this ruled
Hello and welcome to my Extremely Long Running Commentary review. (spoiler warning for other players, this comment is entirely for the creator's entertainment)
Me, reading the first 2 screens of text and remembering the title: oh no. ohhh nooo.
The blind date scene had me cackling, it was such a real conversation and also immediately endeared me to the protagonist. Incredibly effective opening scene.
God, the character writing? The dialogue quality is bonkers. You write such real, funny, entertaining characters. And the way you describe things is so comedic and memorable. Gah.
The first menu you use, the head bonking...great use of repetition. Great use of forcing the player to make this action of harm a decision rather than a passive piece of narration, it hits (haha) so much harder. (side note, you describe the feelings of being a struggling creative so well. I love how you put all these experiences into words.)
You know that part in Kingdom Hearts 2 where they're like "They stole our [___]! They even stole the word [___]!!" ? Anyway I fucking love this game.
Something I keep noticing while playing: the way you utilize pauses in the text is really great, and I hope to do something similar in my future games. I feel like I am learning how to Game Good from playing this.
THE ANGEL. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE ANGEL. HELLO??? (Also I love how you use your BGM, the music shapes my interpretation of each scene in such great ways. Also how you use silence? I don't think I would have been so liberal with having silent scenes, and it's widening my view of what can be an entertaining VN.)
THE WAY SHE CURSES LEA WITH IMMORTALITY OUT OF SPITE. HILARIOUS. I love this game.
Angel: "If you eat this it will kill you." Lea: "bet [STUFFS MOUTH]"
BAHAHAHAHA, god...never threaten an unwilling immortal who has already attempted suicide with death. This game is so funny. This rules. "Can you CHILL?" bahahahaha
Best dodgeball match ever. Man I love sports anime.
Holy fucking shit I love Kai. This is a character type I adore, 'charming' faux-friendly evil. And he talks like a transmigration isekai protag. I love everything about him. Aauuugh. Evil evil evil. That scene ended so good, he's awful.
Now it's a mermaid story??? This VN is taking me to so many places. I'm having a great time.
oh nooo mermaid story was too powerful, I'm emotions now
the "Fuck off" bit was written so well
Mental Crystal being the voice of reason in Lea's head is so good. I love mental Crystal. I wish I had my own mental Crystal.
Kai appears again to charm the protagonist and I jump out of my seat and start applauding. Getting to experience him from someone who isn't afraid of him is fun. He seems sooo charming for unknown reasons. He's sooo evil. I love him.
"you gained a will to live not even two minutes ago, and you're already going to fucking die" I love this writing
I love how weak for girls Lea is. "Oh no she's cute" "Oh no I might be gay" girl....
Lea's post-kiss freak out is so relatable. The "I did something that got a negative reaction and now I am withering, I am being pathetic, I am waiting for reassurance, I want the person I wronged to comfort me"...not something I see much in writing, but something I definitely see in life. Gah. She's just like me fr.
VIVI
Lea please stop dissociating. Please. VIVI !!!!!!
oh my god not dissociating wasn't enough
aaauuuugh you hit on my favorite narrative thread, a little thing i like to call karmic entitlement. "I've been through so much. I deserve her." THAT THERE. Is my favorite thing to write and also think about. And it's here in this game!! This game has everything.
I DID NOT EXPECT HOW THAT GOD RUN IN WOULD GO. That ruled. That fucking slapped. Holy shit. Such good dread, very effective, absolutely threw me for a loop, hell yea
I love that the game asks what I had been wanting to ask Lea, which is "Why the fuck didn't you use your privilege on Vivi?". And then I get my answer and it's so disappointing (GIRL YOU KISSED HER, HOW DID YOU FORGET? I know you were mid panic attack and in pain and in shock from seeing someone die and flipping your shit but also GIRL HOW)
KAI YIPPIE
hahahahahaha he has a fucking health potion. I knew the second it was described as red. This RPG fucko hits all my comedy spots.
Hey. Hey. That game? That game ruled. I am so your fan now. I 100% am invested and am in support of part 2. I love this story. This rules. man. I feel so good. What a satisfying playing experience. 10/10 will be rolling this story around in my head for days.
This game was completed in a MONTH?! And it's THIS good??? That's absolutely wild, nigh incomprehensible.
Anyway I love everything about this. The art (aooouuuugggghhh the art), the audio, the writing (the use of interruptions and text size, the unique voice of each character and the humor, aaaaa), the puzzles (for once I'm not frustrated! It's fun and I'm not angry!), the endings to have fun collecting... exactly my kind of game. Love it. 10/10
Hi, so, I haven't finished it. I actually super bungled my first playthrough, but through it I began to understand what you were doing and WOW I'm absolutely in love with this game.
The writing is SO funny (I absolutely adore meta and genre comedy). The world-building is So cool. And the twists????? The manipulation of choice sizes/clickablility/etc for drama?? Holy shit. Absolutely utilizing the fuck out of your format.
Excuse me while I play this game 15 more times.
(Also, as someone who in essence wrote about a manic pixie dream boy for my jam entry, this was sooooo fun to reflect on the trope to such an extent.)
Hi, wow. I was immediately sold at 'time loops,' but playing it just cemented to me how I would have loved this game no matter what.
Your prose is absolutely lovely, and the characterization, background plot, and general premise are all fantastic. I love how each loop felt, with the desire to go back and try again feeling organic and natural, and the themes you cemented with each conversation. (I didn't expect multiple endings, and loved how each one was markedly different but hammered home the same message and conclusion)
SUCH a great illustration of regret, of anger, and of the hard hard choice of letting go of something that makes you happy and why it would be important to do so. About respect, and treating someone with care. (Also just slowly making me realize how yucky the protagonist is and has been wwwwww)
Fantastic work!
As someone who worked in trauma advocacy using art as my main medium, I truly admire how effectively you wove this narrative. To take something so complex and make it not only understood, but creative and utilizing visuals and writing and gameplay in the best ways to communicate and enhance your vision...purely on a creator and artistic level, this is an incredibly made game.