Oh, how much have changed and not at the same time! I love this story, loved it from the times of the first Secunda, but I admit I struggle so much with prose of it sometimes, similar to what biohazardblade said. This is not a criticism, because it's your work and if you wish to write it this way you totally should. I'll still enjoy it. But I share the hope of more simple alternative, maybe as a toggle or a choice at the start. But I understand if you don't want to do this. it's a ton of work, basically rewriting the whole story.
On the other note, it's insane how your art improved, I'm in awe.