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I have the results! But to get them to you, I need:

  • Your home address
  • Your phone number
  • Your credit card number (and pin)
  • Your wife
  • Your firstborn child
  • Your skills with a blade
  • Your pet dog
  • Your favorite flavor of ice cream
  • Your home gym
  • Your soul
  • Your preference for Mario or Luigi
  • Your TI-84 calculator you stole from your school in 10th grade
  • Your subscription to my SoundCloud

After all of the requirements are met, you will need to wait approximately 2 weeks until my carrier pigeon drops the results in your mail.