you feel a lack to live from a lack of excitement, i think that’s what you’re trying to interpret? that’s what i’m getting for the most part. that’s okay because we all need attention! there’s nothing wrong for wanting attention, especially when we lack it from others. we like to experience that others feels because it is like a rush of excitement
but please for the sake of yourself and maybe your family if they begin to catch on, talk to somebody
it’s not good to keep your feeling in because all you’re doing is containing feelings that SHOULD be let out. your feelings are stuffed in a small bottle, and once it’s overfilled, it’s going to explode, and we don’t want that to happen because that usually leads to very bad things (a lot of people hold these feelings back because they thing they’ll be judged, but if they judge you, they aren’t doing something right)
we’re all for here and for a purpose! to make sure you’re okay and aren’t in any particular mindset that might bring harm towards you. i hope you have the chance to talk to somebody on how you feel 🤗