you feel a lack to live from a lack of excitement, i think thatās what youāre trying to interpret? thatās what iām getting for the most part. thatās okay because we all need attention! thereās nothing wrong for wanting attention, especially when we lack it from others. we like to experience that others feels because it is like a rush of excitement
but please for the sake of yourself and maybe your family if they begin to catch on, talk to somebody
itās not good to keep your feeling in because all youāre doing is containing feelings that SHOULD be let out. your feelings are stuffed in a small bottle, and once itās overfilled, itās going to explode, and we donāt want that to happen because that usually leads to very bad things (a lot of people hold these feelings back because they thing theyāll be judged, but if they judge you, they arenāt doing something right)
weāre all for here and for a purpose! to make sure youāre okay and arenāt in any particular mindset that might bring harm towards you. i hope you have the chance to talk to somebody on how you feel š¤