"why do you want to end it?"
(Tw: vent?)
I'm bored of life. My parents are...fine, my sister is...getting worse day by day. Nothing new happens. I sit alone at home during birthdays because it's during finals and no one will bother to show up, their all too busy studying. I'm bored. I hear these stories of people suffering, going through trauma, and I get so... excited. I want to feel that way once. Traumatised, scared, helpless. I know that sounds crazy. I really do. But...I can't help it. I want to be traumatised. People have it so much worse than me. And I want to feel that, and let them live MY life; boring, sometimes happy, mostly meh. And just...normal. I want people to live normally. But I want to have some sort of trauma, just some sort of something new in my life. Maybe some accident, some...something. something that I can rant about to someone I find someday to see their face contour into horrification. Something that might...not let me be neglected, or ignored. I'm tired of being the comic relief. Tired of making other people laugh when their down. But when I'm sad? Everyone ignores me. I've even stopped someone from committing. Why isn't there anyone to do it for me? Why is my life so...lonely, and boring? Why can't something exciting happen? But in deciding to give it time, as people say "all good things come to an end",..hopefully. why am I even ranting, not like anyone will even read all this.. I'm just some teenager who can't understand her feelings. People have it so much worse than me. I'm so sorry I'm sorry for ranting this much really Im so sorry